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I am really struggling please help.(2 Posts)
Long long story, history of sibling death, domestic abuse, left exh, brought up my SN daughter on my own, cared for a relative until they died. DD went through an horrendous patch of very explosive sometimes aggressive meltdowns, serious ill health, emergency hysterectomy etc etc and it was bloody tough.
I suffer from horrendous anxiety as a result of masses of shit in the past. I have repeatedly been to the gp but never really got anywhere with them and to be honest with other massive medical issues that have gone on anxiety was always put on the back burner.
Everything was settling down, dd was coping better at her new school, things were better, anxiety still there but I managed. Then my current neighbour disappeared to his mates while still officially remaining a tenant of the flat, we have a communal hall and front door so this led to a massive amount of shit as he had fell out with relatives, owed money, had probation officers, wasn't paying bills etc.
We have had police repeatedly hammering the door in the middle of the night, warrant orders for entry, probation workers hammering on the door several times a week and more. All great for a child with SN who is scared and someone with anxiety.
I went to the doctors with anxiety and joint pain and being entirely utterly exhausted all the time and he decided to run a load of tests to see if this was relative to thyroid as I had other symptoms, he found a condition which will need life long medication, pernicious anemia (b12 issues) and referred me for other tests too. The other test came back clear but picked up something that should not be there accidentally on a part of a scan in an area they were not even really checking meaning this has referred me further urgent testing to check it is not cancer related.
They have put the anxiety down to the severe pernicious anemia and are therefore not treating that other than the injections.
In between all this I am trying to fend off people looking for neighbour who are unhappy with him, his family members who he has fell out with, warrant orders for energy firms and all kinds.
I am just done, I am scared that I cannot see no way out from this,
I am self employed but sub contracted and commission only, I am not making enough money,
We are in private rent after previous landlord did a bunk on us after getting into mortgage difficulties and not informing the mortgage company he was letting out but I cannot afford to move, we are also on a short term tenancy so could easily be given notice to move as the same landlord owned property next door has gone up for sale.
I am also shit scared of the move from tax credits to universal credit sending us under when it comes to it if my work has not already done so.
I am of course looking for a different job however currently having regular injections, testing at the hospital and treatment for other issues which will affect.
I just cannot cope, I cannot do this anymore and I am done and cannot see a way forward and that scares me.
Given all you have been through and currently have going on in your life, it's not surprising you are dealing with anxiety. Sorry it is all so hard for you. Please consider returning to your GP specifically to talk about your anxiety and tell him/her what you have written down here - maybe even take a print out of your post with you. It doesn't sound as though it is just due to the B12 issues.
The situation with the neighbour would be stressful enough for anyone to live with, so don't feel bad. It's unacceptable for the police to bang on your door in the middle of the night. Not sure of a solution, and you sound worn out anyway, without dealing with anything else.
Do you have anyone who can support you in RL? Please think about ringing the Samaritans - 116 123 - if you are still feeling that you can't cope. Sending you a hug.
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