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(4 Posts)
rperrina Wed 01-Feb-17 20:48:02

My DH suffers from depression and anxiety which hasn't normally been an issue however now we have a 2yr old boy and I'm keen to get him into swimming and rugby tots. My DH feels too anxious to do these activities with our son so I end up doing it. I completely don't mind but feel both our son and DH are missing out. Our son adores his father.

I'm starting to find it frustrating that I end up doing everything and I know I shouldn't but I wish he could just take part occasionally sad

We are expecting our second child soon and worry slightly that it's just going to get worse sad

AnxiousCarer Wed 01-Feb-17 21:43:55

That sounds hard what support does DH have for his anxiety and depression. Has he had or been offered any therapy.

purpleme12 Wed 01-Feb-17 21:52:37

I have this problem with OH. I've stopped bothering. I just do everything with my child now.

dangermouseisace Fri 03-Feb-17 22:51:37

can DH do anything else with your DS? As in you take him to swimming/rugby tots and then he takes him to the park etc? Or maybe have both of you go once and then he goes another time?

It's difficult…only you and he know how much is not doing it because he can't, or not doing it because he's not working at it.

I have depression and anxiety but I'm a single mum, so if I don't do these things then no-one will! Sometimes it means that my kids don't get to do the things that they usually do, but usually the rest of life is pretty shit and falling to pieces as well at that point i.e. food preparation, school run, cleaning, everything is a catastrophe and I'm a soggy mess.

What I'm trying to say is that generally if your DH is struggling with life at the moment then although it's hard for you, maybe you have to accept that you have to do the running around for a bit. However, if most other areas of life are ok e.g. if DH able to go to work, do the shopping etc then maybe he needs a bit of a nudge. As it's difficult to tell from your post whether he is genuinely not able to take your son, or whether he's taking the easy option.

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