I asked the doctor this on my last visit, during depression. She said if i was bipolar i would be climbing the walls.
I knew that was a load of rubbish, but just accepted what she said.
I know my doctors notes did say 'manic depression' years ago. Which is bipolar. I dont think it says that now. I think it says dysthymia. I am back at the docs on friday so will ask again about it.
I was there a few weeks back and was put onto sertraline. I thought it was working. I felt great, full of energy. I was ready for anything that came my way. My house was immaculate. Then i went on a spending spree on a ridiculous amount of shoes, storage boxes, ottomans. I was in the mindset of it being time to get everything sorted once and for all.
After a week or so, i thought i was still depressed. I thought the spending sprees were associated with depression. I went back to docs explaining what happened and asked to increase my meds.
Since then, i have gone 'flat'.
Physically i feel depressed, but mentally i dont. It is frustrating as i want to do housework and other things, but physically i havent got the motivation.
I now wonder if i went somewhat hypo/manic when taking anti depressants.
I also wonder if i associated my spending sprees with depression as i crash after it and lack motivation.
You kind of just forget all of those times you feel great and focus more so on the downers. Which is always when i go to the doctors.
There have been a number of times i have felt as great as i mentioned earlier.
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Mental health
I think I might have bipolar
HowTheFuckDoIDoThis · 01/02/2017 16:33
Yes, have a look. Cyclothymia generally goes untreated and undiagnosed as it's kind of 'low level' bipolar and people often just bumble along and live with it. Dysthymia is a persistent low mood only, again, usually people with this just accept it and don't look for treatment as they see it as just a part of who they are.
Push for the referral even if it's just for diagnostic clarification. If you don't meet the threshold for treatment in secondary mh services there's always IAPT.
I'ma senior community mental health nurse by the way, in case you figured I was just spouting nonsense 
I got teary reading this, can we talk? I feel so alone with the same issues.
I spent over a year trying to tell gp there was something wrong with me - more than his diagnosis of depression and anxiety. I told him its either bpd or bi-polar. fast forward, I was diagnosed as bpd. had a year of crap cbt and couple of counselling session then left to rot on anti- Ds.
howthefuck I too have impulse to animals. no one understands me 
I get the thought that I really need it in my life its the only thing that will help. buy it then few months (sometimes days) realise I cant cope and even hate it! it really messes my head up.
previously when I was on antis I would be building stuff for 12hrs straight, decorating or obsessed with fitness. I decorated my whole house twice in 6mths, bought treadmills, gym balls, fitness watches... then came down crashing into motionless mess.
I once bought food mags, printed off recipes for baking and bought the ingredients for EVERY meal in one go plus all the baking equipment costing £200 a few years ago.
I needed some leg warmers and bought 12 pairs (off line) not been used, my head was foggy at the time and I don't remember why now? there are loads more I can type over the last 7yrs of being like this.
at the moment im crashing, self harming deflated mess. my usually OCD home is filthy
the other month my head was adamant that I needed a rabbit, that it could improve my life. I saw visions of it running around the house binkying all happy and I was smiling teaching it tricks... it had to be a blue eyed white one, it was like I was possessed scouring internet for this bunny. it took over my thoughts, was there when I woke and went to bed.
found one, with in a couple of weeks I hated the smell, the mess and was nothing like my day dreams. but you'd think id remember that from the last rabbit. nope! its like im hypnotised sometimes
my ex P could see it coming but I wouldn't have none of it, until it passed then it became clear. does any one notice your behaviour patterns?
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