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What Can I Do?

(31 Posts)
WhatCanBeDone Mon 26-Feb-07 10:04:49

Hello, I have namechanged as I am abit embarrassed about this.

I have depression which gets better then worse, but, when it gets really bad my husband has been taking days off to help me, keep me safe.

As you can imagine, his work is starting to get fed up about this and also his wage is dropping month by month and soon we will not be able to afford to live.

On the other hand, I cannot trust myself some days and to be honest money and work is the last thing on my mind, I just want to stay safe in the back of my mind.

DH is getting under pressure now, and the possibility of him losing his job is quite real.

I hate to do this, and feel such a failure, but, is there any help I can get? I wanted to ask on here first before I ring my nurse as I want to know sort of what to expect. Hospital is out of the question, I do not think I am that bad, and I have a young child to look after.

One way or the other I cannot continue like this, it is very stressful for all of us

Thankyou x

Aloveheart Mon 26-Feb-07 10:08:30

Can you not get help from your doctor, councelling may help.

Sorry your feeling like this.

WhatCanBeDone Mon 26-Feb-07 10:15:32

I am having therapy and am on ADs but somehow I need some sort of possible day to day help, or something like that. I was thinking along the lines of home visits - is that possible do you think? I do not know really what is avaliable help wise.

Aloveheart Mon 26-Feb-07 10:17:05

oh um.. i dont' know um maybe your doctor might know of something. Sorry not much help i am.

WhatCanBeDone Mon 26-Feb-07 10:18:05

Yes, I guess I should ring, just abit scared I have come to this point. Thankyou for replying though x

clarinsgirl Mon 26-Feb-07 10:20:38

Don't feel like a failure, this isn't your fault, its an illness. What do you mean 'keep me safe'?

I would start with the Doctor - try to get an appointment with one you feel comfortable with. They will probably need to run some blood tests to check for underlying medical causes (thyroid etc). The doctor should then help you find the best action plan (medication, councelling etc).

You shouldn't wait until you are 'that bad' before seeking help.

Elk Mon 26-Feb-07 10:23:40

Please don't be embarrassed about what your feeling. Your feelings and emotions are just what they are.

If you think you are depressed then try to seek help. I fought PND for 2 months last year and finally with encouragement from friends and my dh I went and saw my HV and my GP. They were both really supportive and chatted for a bit. My HV asked me to do the Edinburgh Post Natal Scale which indicated I was severely depressed.

As I was really down, crying every day and really stressed I was put on AD's straight away - 20mg of citalopram. Within 3 hours of taking the first pill I felt a bit woozy and by the next day I was a bit naseous and 'shut off' from the world - I likened it to watching everything from behind a thick glass wall. It was such a relief to not have all those thoughts going through my head, as I had thought I was going mad. The side effects only lasted a week or two.

My friends also helped by looking after one of my children for a while each week to give me time to wind down.

Other things that have helped are yoga and swimming.

Hope this helps.

I am new to posting on mumsnet and soon hope to move of the 'depressed ' threads.

WhatCanBeDone Mon 26-Feb-07 10:23:41

Oh, sorry, I should have made myself clearer. I am under care, on anti-depressents and having therapy but I feel it is not enough right now. Some days I am so bad I call my husband home from work, or ask him not to go in which really has to stop. Keep me safe as in a) not try and do anything silly and b) I guess keep me sane, sometimes the pressure gets ontop of me not in a "normal" way I guess.

Berrie Mon 26-Feb-07 10:23:57

I'm not sure what kind of day to day help you want but in our area the health visitor offered to refer me to a scheme where someone will come and offer company or help with the ironing etc whatever you feel you need...sorry, I can't remember the name of the scheme...

zippitippitoes Mon 26-Feb-07 10:24:44

I think if it is a companion to support you on bad days then there isn't really a service like that

sure start in some areas have buddies

meeting people through toddler groups

or local organisations like MIND

the national childbirth trust if you have young children have networks

WhatCanBeDone Mon 26-Feb-07 10:24:57


WhatCanBeDone Mon 26-Feb-07 10:26:38

Yes Zippi - I think it is sort of a companion. Ironic because a few months ago when I was feeling alot better I was considering volunteering for Surestart!

clarinsgirl Mon 26-Feb-07 10:29:37 (sorry, rubbish at links). My Mum looked into volunteering for them a while back (now she looks after my DS 2 days a week). They offer all kinds of help - someone to talk to, home help, someone to take the kids out for a bit etc.

WhatCanBeDone Mon 26-Feb-07 10:29:42

Or is it surestart, just seen the website and maybe I am thinking of something else with a similar name.

Elk Mon 26-Feb-07 10:31:09

Sorry didn't realise you are already on AD's - are you on the highest dose as mine had to upped - when my eldest started school and got all stroppy I couldn't cope ane the GP upped my dose.

My GP says that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain and people wouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed about a chemical imbalance in any other part of the body, so you shouldn't feel guilt about being depressed. The depressed and weird thoughts are your illness and not you, though it is often hard to separate the two. - I say all that to myself alot so I hope it isn't too garbled.

zippitippitoes Mon 26-Feb-07 10:31:28

I think you will have to investigate locally

maybe contact your social services/mental health care team

this kind of help is pretty much down to voluntary services and so pretty thin on the ground

sad to say I think you will be lucky

WhatCanBeDone Mon 26-Feb-07 10:33:43

I am not ashamed of the depression, I am ashamed about needing home visits

Thankyou for your input, will investigate locally. x

foxinsocks Mon 26-Feb-07 10:34:56

Homestart (that's what you were thinking of)

think you should, if you can, go back to the GP and tell them how bad you are feeling - there are all sorts of anti depressants and you may need your dose altered or a different one altogether

zippitippitoes Mon 26-Feb-07 10:41:18

sorry yes it's homestart I meant

depression ironically is something which always seems to come back to having to get through by your own strength in the end

obviously being depressed means your motivation is minus several thousand but wortk on any time that you feel a bit more capable so on better days work on strategies for coping

on worst days just don't try too hard

though I do think if you have to work through because eg dh is at work then it is better in the long run

you have to build up a sort of automated self reliance

WhatCanBeDone Mon 26-Feb-07 10:42:02

Homestart - thats it! I was getting a website about childcare. Thankyou. Yes, will try GP before I use valuable resources I think. Thankyou x

zippitippitoes Mon 26-Feb-07 10:42:55

I wasn't suggesting that you weren't worth resources..just that help is scarce!

clarinsgirl Mon 26-Feb-07 10:43:02

Oh yes, sorry, homestart not surestart.

WhatCanBeDone Mon 26-Feb-07 10:43:31

Yes, I muddle through alot of the time in my own little way, just some days, especially recently, things have been getting abit beyond the normal for me which is pretty severe. Thankyou for all your help x

WhatCanBeDone Mon 26-Feb-07 10:44:47

oh no, that came out wrong. I want to make sure I try other things I guess for a little while longer as there is few volunteers and alot of people in need, possibly more than me at the moment, not anything you said, promise

RedTartanLass Mon 26-Feb-07 11:09:57

Give homestart a ring you can self-refer, for local group here

They are here to help (hopefully there is a group in your area). It's all about parents supporting parents, please give them a call.

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