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Do I take a break to concentrate on myself.

(4 Posts)
Move12345 Sat 21-Jan-17 12:28:58

I know no one can tell me the answer to this. Like everyone I have good days and bad days.

I'm married and we have 2 kids. I've been suffering for years with anxiety, and I'm currently waiting for therapy. I have really low days atleast half of the week too.

My husband works all day and when I first told him about this he said didn't understand why. He also turned it into us and when it's about me. He's forever saying what's up with you and it makes me worse. He rolls his eyes at me too. He can be supportive but recently it seems more like he isn't and he does often make me feel worse.

I'm doing my best by the children, I take them out alot as it makes me feel better. But I just don't feel I can deal with a marriage right now and u know that sounds horrible and I'm being selfish.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

fallenempires Sat 21-Jan-17 14:25:44

That's a horrible situation to be in.How long have you been feeling like this for? Is it the parenting that is causing the problem or is it a marriage problem?

AnxiousCarer Sat 21-Jan-17 18:36:22

Obviously no one else knows what your relationship is like. I've seen things from both sides in mine.

I support my DH with his MH and it can be etrememely hard work, theres certainly times when I silently shout "FFS why can't you just do x,y, or z" in my head, even though I know its not his fault.

In the last year things have been turned on their head with me suffering PTSD and him needing to support me. Initially this was really hard and there was a bit of "what have you got to be anxious about" and I felt that I has to stamp my feet to be heard initially. It wasn't until I confided to him about my urges to self harm that he seemed to take things seriously. I also think I am good at putting a brave face on and he genuinely didn't understand how bad things were. We are lucky to have 2 very good CPNs who support us and helped enournously. One of the bigest things that has helped us has been scoring our stress levels, anxiety and mood out of 10 and sharing that with each other and generally for me who is used to being the 'strong one' its been useful to get better at sharing .

You say you are waiting for therapy. I would be tempted not to make any major changes before the therapy as you might feel very different once you start to feel better. Only you know how you are feeling though.

Also you say that he trys to make it about "us" rather tha "me" my experience of DHs MH is that if very much affects us not just him and vice versa.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Mon 23-Jan-17 17:44:33

It sounds like he needs help understanding what you are going through.

Would he find it easier to talk to an other man?

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