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just don't know which way to jump!

(14 Posts)
oops Thu 22-Feb-07 19:51:08

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sarahhal Thu 22-Feb-07 19:54:58

No advise but big hugs Ooops.

It's awful when childcare and work just don't work isn't it? I dread one of mine being ill and having to have the day off work - I usually make out it's me who is ill!

I hope you can make the right decision about your nanny - it doesn't sound like you have such a great relationship with her. Are there any other childcare options so that you can carry on the job which you liked so much

oops Thu 22-Feb-07 19:59:14

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sarahhal Thu 22-Feb-07 20:02:55

It's just awful isn't it all the should I or shouldn't I work? When I'm working full time which I am at the moment until summer, I love being at work and sometimes think I'm actually happier at work than being at home. Then I swing the other way and think I'd actually like to be a SAHM doing all the lovely thing with the boys ... then I am at home and feel that I'm a crap mum as I don't feel that I do that many exciting things with them ..... doesn't it just go on!!

DimpledThighs Thu 22-Feb-07 20:03:59

sounds really mixed up - can you talk openly about it at your review thing? Will they be supportive?

Have you considered other childcare options - such as a nursery would not be able to call in sick.

Sorry - am sure you have thought of all this, but can tell you need support.

ScottishThistle Thu 22-Feb-07 20:08:15

Your Nanny's been off 3 times in 8mths!...I've had 8 days sick in 14yrs!

Your Baby is 18mths old, perfectly normal not to be saying many words.

Sounds like you need to start looking for a new Nanny!

bampa Thu 22-Feb-07 20:45:49

Hi. First time I've ever done this but you sounded like you could do with a bit of TLC. Firstly it would appear to me that your nanny doesn't enjoy her job anymore and is determined to make you feel bad too. Projecting her own stuff comes to mind.
The work or SAHM debate is always tricky. All i can say is that I chose the latter and have never regretted it. Don't get me wrong some days you feel like pulling your hair out and you hardly ever if never get a 'well done'or postive reinforcement as you may in the work place but the plus side for me is that it is far less stressful, my Ds is happy and you can get dressed when it suits you! That being said I know it's not for everyone. Maybe you could try it and see how it goes. Probably not much help but hope you don't get too much ear ache from your boss. Life is too short!

oops Thu 22-Feb-07 22:39:36

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bampa Fri 23-Feb-07 12:53:01

Hope it went ok for you today and if your boss has any sense they'll keep the door/communication open for you to return in the future. Best of luck and enjoy being at home with your boys

oops Fri 23-Feb-07 22:28:55

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oops Fri 23-Feb-07 22:30:14

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bampa Sat 24-Feb-07 11:58:13

Things never go as planned do they! It's unforunate that your nanny needs surgery but I still feel you have to look out for your own interests as well. Maybe you could let her know that you feel ready for a change and you're very sorry but you'll have to let her go. As a compromise maybe you could give her 3 months notice rather than the standard 4 weeks.If she's with an agency then I can't imagine it will be hard for her to find work again when she's back on her feet. Especially if she has a good reference from you. I know it's easy for me to say ( a total stranger!) but try not to worry. These things always have a way of working out for the best and I think you could do with a nice relaxing weekend and if it were me a large glass of chardonnay! The important thing is that you and your boys are all happy and healthy

nannynick Sat 24-Feb-07 13:22:24

You need to think about what is important to you and your family. YOU are important to your family, especially your children.

Do you need to work? If you can survive without the income, then I feel you should stop working, spend quality time with your children during their pre-school years, and concentrate on having a great family life, including extended family such as supporting your birth mother.

If you continue to be unable to go to work due to trouble with childcare... will work sack you? Would it be better to resign? At least if you resign, you can hope for a good reference. You don't say what work you do, but if it is something you need to keep updated with, are there courses that you can do on occasions, to keep updated with latest developments? Could you do any freelance work at home, perhaps for the company you currently work for? Or is the job not really something you are interested in anymore... time to give it up and go on to pastures new.

I worked for a company for 6 years and was made redundant. I thought the world had ended, but it haden't. I am now far less stressed than I was in that job and I am enjoing what I do now. Sure I don't get paid as much, I have few job prospects, but I like the work, I like the hours, I don't get overly stressed, and I manage to pay my bills. You need to aim for a balance in your life between work and family - I'm still not very good at that, do far too much work - but if I had children of my own, I am sure that would be different. Only you can decide what it is that you want to do.

If you resign your job, you no longer have a requirement for a nanny, so can make your nanny redundant. I believe your current nanny has worked for less than a year, so you can make redundant and pay notice period. Then forget it ever happened!

Life is too short to worry about things... live life to the full, spend quality time with your family.

bampa Mon 26-Feb-07 09:24:41

Good luck today at work whatever happens

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