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Violence mental health and parenting

(6 Posts)
Clothnappybum Thu 12-Jan-17 15:27:56

Hi I'm new here, I had to vent somewhere, I have split personality disorder (dissociative identity disorder) we have 3 children
my husband does a lot for us like taking the kids to school, letting me sleep in when I can't get up in the morning from my meds, he does a lot round the house and cares deeply for his children. I've just got out of hospital.

today I got off the phone to employment and support allowance and they've not received important info.
i asked my husband if he had made copies which he hadn't I then got angry and asked him why he didn't I don't think I shouted but I was nagging.
Then he flipped and started shoving into me and pulling me around, he grabbed my glasses and threw them to the floor and then hit me I think on the shoulder.
Our 3 year old saw everything.
we have 3 children the eldest (7) was at school and the middle is (3), the youngest 7 months, they have been under child protection since last year beginning of due to my mental health mainly the dissociation, they are now reduced to child in need, I feel like there is less support

In the past few years my husband has lost his temper with me usually pushing me round but once he did something quite serious.
ive told the social worker before about how he lost his temper and she said she'd speak with him but she didn't.

my husband is very sorry and says he feels he cannot take anymore what with the baby waking many times a night and I don't wake up because my strong psychiatric medication knocks me out, I've tried gettting him
to sleep downstairs and having the baby right next to me so hubby can get some sleep but still I don't wake.
he said a lot of things today when he was angry, he said he didn't want to be with mE and I'm always in hospital and get grumpy or angry with the kids.
but he's now said he didn't mean those things and that I deserve better and that I saw my dad doing that and that he's just carrying it on.
he tried to ring our social worker to tell her what has happened.

i don't know what the answer is and I can't think straight. I have a carer who comes in twice a week which gives him some respite and is together respite.
I just don't know what to do anymore and I know it plays into my childhood stuff
I feel like we can't cope with the children anymore and that he struggles with me too

Clothnappybum Thu 12-Jan-17 22:56:25


Clothnappybum Sun 15-Jan-17 17:00:36


Lilaclily Sun 15-Jan-17 17:06:57

Oh goodness flowers

I think perhaps you might get some replies if you post in mental health xxxx

Losgunna Sun 15-Jan-17 17:12:11

Op you poor love, I don't have answers sorry but I'm going to report this so hq can move this to mental health, they're a wealth of info over there. Hopefully they can give you some answers

AnxiousCarer Sun 15-Jan-17 20:37:17

Hi, what a hard situation to be in. Obviously violence towards you is not ever acceptable. It does sound like your DH is under a lot of strain and possibly suffering from carer fatigue, particularly if this behaviour is uncharacteristic. You as a couple definately need more support and it sounds like he needs some time out. I care for my DH and it can be really exhausting. Is there anyway that he can get some me time each week, for me its going to the gym. Definately speak to your SW about whats happened, has your DH had a carers assessment? I also get alot of support from a family liason CPN from DHs MH team, could you ask your CPN if your team offer anything like this. You could also look into if there are any carer support groups in your area, I found this really helpful in the past.

Maybe have a chat with DH about whats happened and what he feels would help prevent it from happening again. Are you able to look after the kids sometimes to give him a break where he can go and do something he enjoys, or just catch up on sleep. Also if he is struggling with stress suggest he speaks to his GP it maybe he needs a bit of time off work sick to remove one of the stresses.

As for you, what do you need to do? Do you feel you can stay with him after this? Is there anywhere you can stay for a few days whilst you get your head together and decide what you want to do.

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