Hello,
I am looking for some advice with regards to depression and behaviour of someone who is depressed. Bit of background; I’ve been with boyfriend for 7 months, he is a wonderfully kind, funny, happy full-of-life person. We were in love, he said I was his gift and that he’d never been so happy. We were best friends. I have always been aware that he has low moods and struggles with what I would say is depression. I’ve talked to him quite a bit about it. These are the symptoms:
- He cries
- He was irritable
- He doesn’t want to live (but isn’t suicidal)
- He started to blame me for all his moods (I trap him, I make him angry, I make him unhappy, I frustrate him etc a complete departure from before)
- He is so angry, about what , I don’t know – he can’t articulate this or he says I’m the cause
- He says he has no feelings, feels numb and no longer loves me (yet he told me the day before he loved me?!)
- He feel worthless and constantly in pain
- I also noticed his sleep becoming disturbed
- He has become physical with himself – hitting his head, fists and throwing things so he ends up cut
He no longer wants anything to do with me and I am at a loss. 24 hours before he messaged me this I sat with him for 3 hours and consoled him and supported him and he said he loved me.
Basically I wonder if this is him talking or depression? He recognises he’s unwell and is seeking medical help but I don’t understand why he is taking it out on someone he loved and someone who has been supportive of him?
In a nutshell I don’t know what to do. I want to try and think logically but have never experienced this before. I am hurt and devastated he has become a monster. Do people get better? Do they stop blaming exterior factors? I fear I have lost him forever.
I would be so grateful if anyone with insight could give me their experiences or thoughts. I love him but apparently , all of a sudden he doesn’t?!
Thank you
C x