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Can my baby be taken away.

(27 Posts)
saraheve Thu 05-Jan-17 23:48:40

HI i really need some advice, my 9 year old son was taken into care due to depression i was unable to keep on top of housework, I was binge drinking on weekends and I was in a unhappy relationship with childs farther, since my son has been taken into care I have attended therapy, hired a cleaner, attended a parent recovery group, relapse prevention group and took parenting courses. I am 8 months pregnant due to give birth very soon, I was given a prebirth assessment that said social services will go to court if they see that babys needs are not being met, unborn baby is on child protection and on the plan it says the same, yet social services say they want to take me to court? I was told their is no present concerns and I have addressed all previous concerns yet they want to still take it to court based on pre historic. I have so much evidence of significant changes yet they want to keep me in hospital once baby is born and have a discharge planning meeting where they may take baby away. Have they got any grounds since I have made significant changes and their is no present concerns. I am very devastated please can somone advise me? Thanks.

Crispbutty Thu 05-Jan-17 23:55:01

Well done for making the changes. How long ago was your son taken into care? It's understandable that social services will want to monitor things.

saraheve Thu 05-Jan-17 23:59:38

Hi thanks for your reply my son was taken into care in August 2016, their is no present concerns and I have already addressed all of the concerns they had, I understand they may need to monitor me, but they are talking about going to court and having a discharge planning meeting at hospital once I give birth, I'm terrified baby will be taken off of me, I have been doing everything I can to address the concerns, can they take baby away even if I have made significant changes.

Lunar1 Fri 06-Jan-17 00:08:31

Is your son back with you now?

Crispbutty Fri 06-Jan-17 00:08:58

I don't know the legal sides, I'm sorry. I'm sure they just have to follow procedures and make sure everything is done correctly but try not to worry. So long as you keep on board with improving your situation I'm sure it will all be ok. Just remember that their main concern is the baby and they are just doing their jobs correctly.

saraheve Fri 06-Jan-17 00:17:12

Thanks for your reply, i have already addressed all concerns and I was told I cannot get my son back untill I prove I can look after my baby who is due in a week, yet if they take my baby away. I will loose everything. I feel they are doing this to hurt me and I am feeling devastated. Thanks

Winniethepooer Fri 06-Jan-17 00:25:29

I strongly advise you to get a solicitor ASAP.

Best of luck Op.

Oswin Fri 06-Jan-17 00:29:48

Have you got a solicitor?

saraheve Fri 06-Jan-17 00:42:26

I was hoing to wait for social services yo give me a pre proccedings letter, i have a solicitor that was involved with my son but he did not win me the case, i have wrote him a long letter explaining what is happening now, I could ask to make a appointment with him. I don't understand as social services told me in the prebirth plan they will only hold a legal planning meeting if it is shown im not looking after my baby. Yet they have gone against their own plan and had a level planning meeting already and the baby isn't even born yet. Babys born in a week and I'm terrified

Broken11Girl Fri 06-Jan-17 00:47:39

Love, you have made changes which is really good but it's only been 6 months, and going from no kids to a baby and your 9yo...A new baby challenges any mum. They want to know you can maintain the changes.
That said, they should give you a chance with the baby.
As pp said, get a solicitor. Get anyone on side you can, your therapist, GP, midwife...to advocate for you. Be 'squeaky clean'. Be pleasant and co-operative to ss, even if they're twats and you beat up a pillow afterwards. Ask them what you can do to convince them you can care for your baby. Tell them what you plan to do - do you have family or friends to support you? A relapse plan you drew up with mh professionals? They need to know you will both help yourself and ask for help if things start getting bad again.flowers

BrightRedSpinner Fri 06-Jan-17 00:53:50

There's a charity called Family Rights Group who help families in these sorts of situations and who can provide support and advocacy. Call them tomorrow morning.
https://www.frg.org.uk
0808 801 0366

heebiejeebie Fri 06-Jan-17 01:00:02

Are they suggesting a mother and baby unit?

UnbornMortificado Fri 06-Jan-17 01:02:51

Are you in the same relationship?

I'm guessing my bad you mean domestic violence occurred?

saraheve Fri 06-Jan-17 01:08:44

Hi yes I was in a bad relationship he has now moved out. They did mention a mother and baby unit and I said I don't mind where I go or if im monitored as long as I'm not separated from my baby, I really hope they do not take my baby away because then the likely thing will be that she will be adopted then I will loose everything including any chances of getting my son back. I'm just scaired to go court and im scaired to give birth im terrified of having my baby taken away, I hope they will give me a chance even though they want to go to court. It's very scary.

HerrenaHarridan Fri 06-Jan-17 01:21:09

At this point you just have to play their game,

You've done great so far and you can keep it up.

My best advice is to get out and about with your baby as much as you can, go to the breast feeding group or the library group or Surestart or whatever you can find in your area but go regularly.

When my ex started making horrific claims about me I was able to provide unbiased trusted witnesses who had seen my happy, healthy, developing baby and who would testify on my behalf that my daughter was well cared for.

I realise that right now you're focusing more on the imminent birth but I just wanted to share my experience.

I don't know much about the specific situation you're in but might it be worth collecting together evidence of your progress and taking it into hospital with you so that when you feeling the baby fuzz you've got something concrete to cling too.

Fwiw no judge should ever grant an adoption order when there is ANY evidence that the biological parents are making an effort to pull it together. Often to a fault.
If you are willing to go into a mother and baby unit then they should have no excuse to separate you.

MiscellaneousAssortment Fri 06-Jan-17 01:29:23

You need legal advice asap.

saraheve Fri 06-Jan-17 01:30:21

Thank you, I am planning to take my baby to baby massage classes, and baby swimming classes and a weigh and play group all in my area. What is scairing me is that even though I have evidence and their is no current concerns, the social worker said they held a legel planning meeting and they meet the threshold of going to court. I will continue to keep my baby safe and be the best mum I can be. It's just ime not sure if they can take baby away from past mistakes alone. When they have no current concerns. Thanks for your reply

MiscellaneousAssortment Fri 06-Jan-17 01:37:06

You need to know what's happening and why, which is why you need legal advice.

You can't stay in the dark, you need to know what has happened, what point in proceedings you are at and exactly what you need to be doing to help your case. You'll find it very hard to prove you're parenting ability if you don't know what exactly the concerns are at this stage.

Please get legal advice.

HerrenaHarridan Fri 06-Jan-17 02:03:58

Have you got any sure start centres in your area, they are the best early intervention/support I have ever known, sadly hard to find these days.
If you have please speak to them, now don't wait for the baby to be born, they will be able to give you all sorts of advise about the legal process as they will have seen it all before.
Obviously I'm not saying that they can replace speaking to a solicitor but you seemed uncertain about your previous dealings with them.

saraheve Fri 06-Jan-17 11:24:14

Hi thanks they say their are no present concerns but they say because it's only been 5 months since I've made thease significant changes their worried I won't be able to keep it up, I know I will as I have support I never had before and even when im discharged from thease services I have learnt a lot, have they got ground to take baby away, hopefully they will get order to monitor me with baby not to separate me, thanks.

BrightRedSpinner Fri 06-Jan-17 11:39:20

Phone family rights group - they WILL be able to answer your questions

UnbornMortificado Fri 06-Jan-17 17:46:43

Have you a cpn (MH worker) Sara they can offer support in your situation.

saraheve Sat 07-Jan-17 01:13:23

Hi no i havnt got a cpn as I suffered very bad with depression and I am attending CBT theraphy weekly that helps. My mental health is good apart from all of the stress i am going through. Thanks

UnbornMortificado Sat 07-Jan-17 01:25:16

I've just seen your other thread and posted the same question on that so please ignore.

It's bound be to be stressful.

Do you think a support worker could help? I don't know how services differ from region to region but if the stress gets too much you'd counsellor might be able to signpost you to some support.

saraheve Sat 07-Jan-17 23:29:51

I'm coping now but if my baby is taken away I won't know how to cope. And it isn't because I still have contact with ex as their is no present concerns. I asked social services to move me if he is a concern but they said they want to see us get along and even forced me to have joint contact with him when I see my son even though I want to see my son alone.

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