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Help - I cannot function

(11 Posts)
user1483401379 Tue 03-Jan-17 00:01:33

I was holding someone else's three month old who was crying and hold him in the air and the onto my hip and jiggled him. He stopped crying and gave a little smile. When I was bouncing him on my hip the mother said please be careful. The baby could hold his head up on his own but was leaning back a bit and a little wobbly.

I now feel so awful and guilty. I said sorry. I thought that he was a little older. The mom said he is ok and that it is alright when I said sorry again when I left them.

However still a few hours later I feel so sick and embarrassed. My friend said she was a bit overprotective. I just want some help now because I can't function and I have a baby of my own to look after. Did I do anything wrong? Thanks so much.

Chelazla Tue 03-Jan-17 00:07:59

My dh has thrown my babies around since they were tiny and they loved it! He is now paying price as they think he's a climbing frame! Babies love being jiggled around! I say "be careful" about 30 times a day. If that mum thought it wasn't safe trust me she would have got her baby back and not cared she offended you! You've done nothing wrong, give yourself a break X X X flowers

user1483401379 Tue 03-Jan-17 08:55:00

Thanks Chelazla. I was having a panic attack about it. sad

Lovelongweekends Tue 03-Jan-17 09:03:12

Dd3 has just turned 3 months and she can definitely cope with a bit of hip jiggling!
Try not to worry, if the mum has been really concerned she would have taken the baby off you.

user1483401379 Tue 03-Jan-17 10:11:21

Thanks Lovelongweekends

MuppetsChristmasCarol Tue 03-Jan-17 10:16:35

I say 'be careful' about 6million times a day to DH, PIL, my parents, friends...basically anyone who glances at my baby grin. I have a massive case of PFB and it's hard wired into me to be this way - it means nothing, and no one has ever hurt my baby. You're fine!

DeleteOrDecay Tue 03-Jan-17 11:12:07

I tell my dp to be careful with the children too as he does a lot of tooing and frowing with them. Ironically it's me who has accidentally hurt them more than he has including trapping fingers in doors and giving my 18 month old a pulled elbow when she fell whilst holding my handblush

Try not to think to much into it, easier said than done I know but if she was truly, genuinely concerned for her baby's safety, instinct would have kicked in and she would have whisked the baby out of your arms. Sometimes it's just an automatic reaction to tell someone to be careful with your baby, even if you know they won't hurt them. It's sort of reassuring for the mother in a way.

PandaPop55 Tue 03-Jan-17 14:30:27

This sounds similar to me at times, constant worrying, over thinking and guilt about situations. It is exhausting. I would recommend being kind to yourself. Try to get plenty rest if possible, eat well etc. Also I think it might be helpful looking into something like mindfullness or cbt. This can help to change the way you think about situations and help you to have a more peaceful, calm mind.

user1483401379 Tue 03-Jan-17 15:31:25

Thanks so much for your support everyone. I did try CBT a few years ago so I will look back at my notes and use them here. The support here is fantastic and I cannot thank you all enough.

Chelazla Tue 03-Jan-17 19:56:23

Are you feeling better about it all now, I hope so flowers

user1483401379 Tue 03-Jan-17 23:31:33

Yes, a lot better now. I don't think about it so much now, and more rational when I do.

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