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How to build self esteem

(3 Posts)
Iusedtobedontcall Mon 02-Jan-17 00:07:36

I am making some very big changes this year. I need to develop a sense of who I am; what I value and stop seeking validation either from relationships or the opinions of others. I tend to view my entire existence through a prism of how I think certain people might see me. I don't want to spend too much time ruminating on myself as I know that will fuel my anxieties further. I really want to develop my sense of self worth. I want to know who I am and really have this underlying sense that I an ok, regardless of whether or not I'm in a relationship or if someone else approves of me. Does anyone have any tips? I'm thinking of taking up walking as a hobby, to hopefully clear my mind.

sniffle12 Mon 02-Jan-17 02:50:40

Amen to all of this! This is totally my resolution too. Like you say actually doing it is another matter. I get so easily sucked into all the politics of life, comparing myself to others, etc.

I'm still working this out myself as you can see, but something I started last year was to try and notice when an activity truly brings me joy. Not what I think should bring me joy because it's what everyone else seems to be doing, but what truly brings me joy. Things like reading, long baths, nature, belly laughs, time with my family. I will try to do more of what brings me joy and less of what doesn't (browsing social media, worrying, ruminating, saying yes to things I don't want to do just to keep in with certain people).

I also have a picture from a few years ago of me waking alone down a beautiful wooded path and have sort of adopted it as a mascot/reminder - I'm on my own path, I shouldn't be looking at where others are on their paths or worrying about it. I should enjoy my own journey. So maybe if you've got an image - of yourself, or just any random image - that really resonates with you or reminds you of your goals, keep it near to remind you.

Good luck!

Iusedtobedontcall Mon 02-Jan-17 11:45:06

Good luck sniffle. I think visualisation is so important. When I was feeling really low, my friend took me to the peak District to remind me of the beauty in the world. I have a fridge magnet of the peaks to remind me every day.

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