How do you boost your self esteem?

[onedayimightforget]

I've made a commitment to improve my mental health this year. I have suffered with anxiety and depression for years and more recently PND and PTSD following my dcs premature births. I'm having CBT and I'm on medication, both of which are just about keeping me afloat. My self esteem is almost non existent and I know this is something I need to work on but I don't know how. It feels like there must be some secret that I don't know about.

Are there any good books/websites/anything else you could recommend to improve my self esteem?

[AnxiousCarer]

Hi it sounds like you are doing the right things. I have found an author called Susan Jeffers very helpful in the past. She has written a few books,nthe one that made the biggest impact on my confidence was "Dare to Connect "

[sniffle12]

I found a book called The Need to be Liked by Roger Covin very useful. It goes down to the very basics of our need to be liked - how the threat appraisal system which, as animals trying to survive, we all have, perceives the risk of not being liked as a threat to our survival and responds accordingly. Much more useful to me personally than other more ruminative books about finding your strengths etc.

[onedayimightforget]

That sounds very interesting Sniffle. Does it give you tips to overcome that need? Or is the principle more that once you understand why you do it you can stop? I'll also check out Susan Jeffers. Thank you both.

[sniffle12]

As I recall the last two chapters are about strategies for overcoming your instinct to feel threatened and better coping with rejection - but you're right that just being aware of the principles and what's happening helps in itself too.

[onedayimightforget]

Thanks sniffle. I'll check it out.