In a nut shell: I'm under the crisis team, bipolar, suicidal, plans. I don't think I can keep going beyond tonight. I've tried PRN meds and every distraction technique under the sun.
I rang the crisis team for help earlier todaythey can't see me until 7pm, which seems like a lifetime away. DH will need to drive there and traipse the DD's all the way there (45 mins each way). Last time I was given an 'appointment' for 8pm, I dind't get seen until midnight. I think I need admittingand I don't say that very often. I've used up every ounce of energy I have. But last time I went through this whole rigmarole, they just dismissed me as needing more sleep (my CPN had already been in contact and told them it was bad, but they ignored that.) Or, quite likely, there will be no beds on the local ward anyway and I don't want to go out of area (hospitals with bad reputations). I've been admitted many times so I know the ropes. I'm worried that if I tell them everything and there are no local beds, they will section me and force me to go out-of-area. Or I keep stuff back and try to find out if there are beds so that I can keep the choice of whether to go in, but then they will probably just dismiss me. 
Things have changed a lot in the last few years at the psych hosptial--and not for the better.
Sorry for the rant. I'm just hanging on.
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Mental health
Can someone please hold my hand for a bit?
iveburntthetoast · 31/12/2016 15:39
Hey there, I didn't want to read and run so just wanted to say that I'm sure someone with some good advice will be along shortly, but that in the meantime I'm thinking of you.
It sounds like you're being incredibly, incredibly brave. I wonder whether someone might be able to look after your little ones this evening so that your partner can go in with you and help you navigate the situation? I know it's all really scary, but I think you'd be doing the right thing telling them how bad it is.
Wishing you all the luck in the world 
IT sounds as though you are very poorly. You need to go don't you, really. So however it is managed, and whatever happens in the end, all you can really do is roll up. I do hope you get some good care, and that you and DH manage the practicalities.
Toast, you have been so brave and I really hope you get the help you need. Keep talking and reach out to us for help and distraction until the appointment.
Sending you and 
Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and I hope you get well looked after. Sending you
It sounds like you're being so brave. I can't pretend to know enough to give you any meaningful advice, but the thing that I do when things are getting on top of me to a scary degree is concentrate on my breathing and try to distract myself. You're asking for help and you're fighting - keep doing that when you get the opportunity. In the mean time we're all sending you good vibes.
A nice hot shower sounds like an excellent idea to me 
One step at a time. I know it probably doesn't feel like it now but as a pp said, this will pass.
One day you'll be able to tell your daughters about the lengths you went to to survive for them, and they are going to be* so, so* proud of you. I'm sorry the crisis team have been crappy to you, here's hoping you get someone lovely to help you tonight.
Thank you. All I could think of in the shower was that at least my body will be clean for when I've passed. Not the best distraction 
A cup of tea is a better idea.
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