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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

How to cope

22 replies

nixnjj · 21/12/2016 14:42

Please help, I'm currently in a deep dark pit. Sons birthday was Sunday and I managed that but still need to sort Xmas. House is a pit and have only brought one present and a few stocking bits. Keep thinking I'll feel stronger tomorrow but it's getting closer and I'm drowning. Can any tell me how to drag myself out of this hole. I need to do something but struggling to get of the sofa.

OP posts:

Report

fallenempires · 21/12/2016 15:40

You have my sympathy.I'm currently doing nothing either despite having lots to do!
I think that you have just got to be kind to yourself and set yourself small but achievable goals.I find that making a short list helps me to focus.
What help have you got if any?
What are the arrangements over Christmas?

Millymollymanatee · 21/12/2016 15:44

Setting yourself small easy attainable steps is a great idea.

Are you able to get outside for a few short walks? I found in the past that fresh air and a bit of exercise really helped me.

Do you have anyone you can lean on to help you?

I hope you feel better soon

nixnjj · 21/12/2016 15:49

No help, same as the last 12 years just me and my son at home, just feel so low and hopeless. I've managed to get dressed and hung the washing out. I have panic attacks leaving the house but due to an injury all savings went on getting him taxis to school for 3 weeks so I have to go into town to get Xmas stuff, normally do it online. Just want to hide and pretend it's not happening. Sorry to hear you are going through the same

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dangermouseisace · 21/12/2016 16:03

with some shops you can do online to collect from shop tomorrow…if you are super quick!

nixnjj · 21/12/2016 16:19

Danger mouse thank you that is a good idea. Wil at least focus my mind as to what to get him. I've told him to ask a friend to meet him for a Macdonalds as a birthday treat so I will have to go. Know if I don't know what to get it will just make me panic more.

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fallenempires · 21/12/2016 16:25

Oh lovely that sounds awful.It's magnified a hundred times when you're going it alone.Does DS know how you're feeling?
I think you do need to have an honest conversation with him as I bet he'd do anything to help his Mum.
When I relapsed earlier this year I had a talk with ds2 about it he is the same age as your son.Not the most pleasant of conversations agreed but I felt that I had to try & explain that I wasn't well & that he needed to be patient with me & not take it to heart if I was sometimes a bit rubbish in achieving things or seemed distant..
I think he will take it well if you tell him that this year you are having a pared down Xmas.Think about what you both enjoy most about it & try to achieve those things.Ask him what food he fancies & encourage him to give you a hand cooking it.We do this alot & I really appreciate the help & company of my ds!
As for the material stuff let that wait til the NY & then suggest making a day of it just the two of you.
Keep posting if you want to,there are some lovely people on here who have experience with this awful illness.

nixnjj · 21/12/2016 16:38

He knows I'm ill and is a good lad. I've just asked him to write me a list of what he want and bless him he's looking online for click and collect. Good idea about asking him about the food as I eat very little. Guess I need to accept that he's big enough that it doesn't need to be a surprise or perfect. We have a wonderful relationship and that lasts all year.

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fallenempires · 21/12/2016 17:02

Fantastic! Sounds like he's getting on with being a then!
Yes the food idea is wise as like you I will eat very little if I don't have to ie dcs aren't here.Besides that see it as giving him much needed life skills.
You sound so much more positive since your OP!

nixnjj · 21/12/2016 18:49

I feel more positive, have accepted I can only do what I can. It helps to talk to stop e erything just going round in circles in my head and some helpful suggestions have helped me focus

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fallenempires · 21/12/2016 19:38

That's great,it's the not being able to focus which is my biggest struggle as Mum.I think with taking the pressure off yourself you will begin to feel slightly more in control.
Are you currently taking any meds?

nixnjj · 21/12/2016 22:14

Yes recently started sertranline, the ones I was on before increased my migraines and made me really dopey.

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fallenempires · 21/12/2016 23:07

How are you getting on with them & what were you on before?I'm on citalopram atm but have taken fluoxetine before.Got GP appt in NY as I think I may need a change of meds.

nixnjj · 23/12/2016 00:37

Messed up. Got his presents and went to get food, card was declined. I'd forgotten that a bill was due out. Mortified I'm such a failure

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MagicSocks · 23/12/2016 00:50

Hi nixnjj, I'm sorry you're struggling at the moment, I'm in a similar boat and have recently started sertraline too, just wanted to offer a hand hold. Please don't feel you're a failure, life is hard sometimes and you've had a lot to deal with, be kind to yourself .

nixnjj · 23/12/2016 01:52

Thanks, just keep running through what happened, managed to get out of the shop before panic set it, but it was so crowded and the queue behind me was massive. Thought I was going to,die.

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UnbornMortificado · 23/12/2016 02:03

Anxiety is shit. Dunno if it will be any good to you but my plan is to hit Asda at 6am when it first opens. I did this last year and it was deserted it was brilliant.

fallenempires · 23/12/2016 13:36

Oh no that's all you need right now
It's mortifying when that happens.
What have you got in food wise?

nixnjj · 23/12/2016 13:53

I've got potatoes,stuffing Yorkshire pudding frozen veg and sausages. I've managed to scrap nearly £15 going through unused handbags in a bit. More making a mess rather than cleaning. The gas has just gone so I need to put £10 in the meter. Son loves pigs in blankets so,thinking about getting some bacon. Am terrified but will have to go to the local shop just going to wait till it gets dark.

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fallenempires · 23/12/2016 14:06

Good idea about going out later as hopefully the shops won't be as busy.Also you may be able to pick up some reduced price meat to go with the dinner.
Keep going,it's tough & it's not what you need this time of year but you will manage us Mums always do!
And of course you have your lad who loves the very bones of you,he knows that you're doing your best even if you don't feel the same way!

fallenempires · 24/12/2016 14:01

How are you & your lovely lad doing today?

nixnjj · 24/12/2016 15:26

I'm feeling numb. Boy is happy watching tv and has reminded me that the living room will be messy tomorrow so to not stress about cleaning. We are having roast dinner with sausages tomorrow but have a lovely chocolate pudding with cream for pudding. Just be so glad when it's all over

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fallenempires · 24/12/2016 16:02

It's just one day & an over hyped one at that.That's all you need to keep telling yourself!
Dinner sounds just fine & your lad is happy.
And you have a yummy choccy pud too!

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