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Family member mental illness affecting others

(6 Posts)
aawcmon Sun 18-Dec-16 23:09:47

My DM had to come off antidepressants a few years ago as a result of other medical conditions and her mental health has deteriorated ever since. As much as I feel sorry for her, for too many years I have taken ongoing abuse and put up with her trying to split my husband and I up. She hates him and has now taken to doing similar with a few of my closest friends, trying to drive them away. Most times I want to go NC , but she has a soft spot for my DS and I'd be worried about the impact on her already fragile state of mind if I did so. My nerves are shattered though, any advice appreciated.

quicklydecides Sun 18-Dec-16 23:12:37

Get her to go back to her psychiatrist for a review and some advice?

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Mon 19-Dec-16 00:19:30

It can be incredibly difficult for the family and friends - but family in particular - of someone with mental health problems.

You're allowed to step away if its becoming too much. There's also things like Carers Cafe's run by NHS trusts or local charitable groups where you can get to speak to people with similar problems to you. They'll be able to offer you support and help and maybe even just someone going through the same thing as you would be enough to help you through.

People with MH issues don't get a free card to destroy their families and I say this as someone who has a pervasive MH condition. My first thought is always for the wellbeing of my family, but I screw that up when ill.

My advice is :- get her to go back to the GP to get some more appropriate treatment. If that doesn''t work, speak to your GP or look on line for local support groups for yourself. If all else fails, reduce contact. You're wellbeing is just as important as your mums,

aawcmon Mon 19-Dec-16 00:31:21

Thank you for your kind words, I will look into the support groups in my area.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Mon 19-Dec-16 17:25:59

When I became ill I understood my DP would stand by me if I took care of myself as best as I can.

Sadly for your mum, it appears she can't take meds because of other problems.. So that is not quite the same. I do feel for you. Having said that I don't think it will do your son any good if mum manages to ruin your marriage and friendships. Draw help from your DH remembering you chose to marry him and share your lives with each other. In the end I suspect it will have to be managed communication on your terms.

Ninapinky Sun 25-Dec-16 22:44:56

Im a mum of two boys aged 17 and 7 , they r both young carers , my family r embarrassed by my illness and refuse to accept im ill so i get no emtotional suppoort from my family , today my mum kept picking at me and she manipulates the rest of my family against me and plays the victim,which resulted in me having to leave her home on my own in a vunerable state and be without my two boys , this was the first xmas ever id not been with them,my eldest son has been caring for me since he was 5 and the 7 yr old helps too, my illness is sctizo affective disorder/ emotionally unstable personality disorder, severe anxiety and severe ocd, i wish i had my mum to support me but she wont accept im ill and its my two children that stand by me

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