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Help me get through tonight

(15 Posts)
Lamornac Thu 15-Dec-16 18:34:19

Just looking for some hand-holding/tips for tonight. DH away and I am at home with 3DC (12,10 and 4). I used to do this all the time but as I have got older I can't cope with the anxiety. I am caught up in anxious thoughts about the norovirus - dd4 catching and then me getting it - to the point that I can't sleep. Watching her like a hawk - although she shows no signs of it. I drive myself mad thinking about it. Or i imagine being ill myself and unable to look after them It has become a full blown phobia and it is debilitating. Been through nv with the older children and survived so it is illogical. Just want to relax and be able to enjoy the time with the children. Just distracting myself really but interested to know if anyone else has similar feelings. Thank you.

googietheegg Thu 15-Dec-16 18:36:30

The best way to not get sick is to try and sleep, so have a nice dinner and a glass of wine, watch some tv and go to bed. You can do this. Anxiety is so hard, especially when you're alone. Remember you are a strong mum and you are fine as you are.

Lizziedoll Thu 15-Dec-16 20:26:35

Good evening
You are not alone, I am also by myself this evening, pregnant with my first child and so anxious I feel I'm going to die
Quick question: are you on any anxiety medication at the moment? Or getting counselling?
Remember that you are only anxious about your daughter because you love her and there is nothing wrong with that in itself, you just have a hard time coping at the minute. I am here to talk flowers

Lamornac Thu 15-Dec-16 21:19:49

Thanks for the advice googietheegg - I have taken your advice!
Hi Lizziedoll - no medication at the mo - came off some last year as I felt better but....I just feel so frustrated I can't control it - am a strong clever woman etc but this gets the better of me. Sorry to hear you feel similar - my first (full term) pregnancy was def my most anxious. Hard on your own because I think you feel on full alert. x

AnxiousMunchkin Thu 15-Dec-16 21:26:17

Are you able to challenge the anxiety at the moment? How likely is it really that dd would catch noro? Is there anything you can to do to mitigate that risk? If so can you do that action or plan/schedule to do so? If not, then can you find a way to distract your mind from obsessing over the anxious thought.

Working through the worry tree is useful for me.

Lamornac Thu 15-Dec-16 21:37:15

Thanks - that makes sense Anxiousm - not sure I have enough going on in my life at the moment to keep my brain away from obsessive thinking - perhaps this is telling me something - I need to get on with something else. Sorry about ramblings but it is nice to have people to talk to x

AnxiousMunchkin Thu 15-Dec-16 21:45:35

What are your distraction or relaxation things to do, do some work better than others? Mindful activity definitely helps me get through these moments, stuff that you have to concentrate on whilst you do it. Mindful meditation has massively helped my anxiety overall but that is definitely a long term thing, not a short term fix.

What sort of stuff do you want to get on with/have more of going on in your life?

Ramble away if you like smile talking about this stuff with others helps me focus as well.

Lamornac Thu 15-Dec-16 21:50:25

yes I feel better as I talk about it. Writing and sewing are things I like doing however I let my feelings of anxiety get in the way and convince myself I don't have the energy. I haven't worked for quite a while and I think perhaps it is time to focus on that rather than obsessively staring at my children and house! What do you do for mindful meditation?

AnxiousMunchkin Thu 15-Dec-16 22:09:10

My main mindful meditation 'training' has been the headspace app, I rate it really highly. The first 10 days (which took me over 2 weeks to do) are free, I pay for a subscription now, once I got through about 15-20 sessions it started to really make an impact on day to day. I use it for specific themes now but also return to the beginning when I've had a setback/downward spiral and start again. Buddhify is another free app which has short guided mindfulness meditations for specific circumstances. However sometimes I cannot cope with pure meditation when I'm experiencing high anxiety levels. I have to turn to distraction/relaxation then, to get through the moment.

I also do yoga and as I explore that deeper then meditation, breathing exercises etc have come into it and click in with mindfulness. Obviously flexibility and strength have got better with yoga but honestly I think it's done more good for my mental health than my physical!

I hear you on the convincing yourself you haven't got the energy/motivation to start something. When you're feeling brighter, could you set yourself up easy mini-projects to reduce how much you have to do to access one of those 'rescue' activities when anxiety sets in? Hope that makes sense. My example is I have a written list of things to do - so I don't have to come up with something, I can just look at the list and choose. Items I need are kept as ready as possible to minimise the getting out/preparing for a task aspect.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Thu 15-Dec-16 22:11:25

Googie suggested wine...
Sounds nice but is a bad idea.. It really does stop you sleeping...
Sit ups, press ups, stretches?. or housework?
The latter will give you a clean house...

Seriously, physical effort does help you sleep..

Lamornac Thu 15-Dec-16 22:29:00

Love the idea of mini-projects at the ready. TV is not enough is it? I have found hypnotherapy useful in the past - it is the only thing that shuts up the anxiety. Don't worry - only had 1 glass of wine ages ago - I know it is counter-productive. Lovely to talk to you all. Really thank you - going to try and get some sleep. x

AnxiousMunchkin Thu 15-Dec-16 22:49:41

Gnight Lamornac, sleep well!

I know alcohol is counter productive in that it's a depressant (I find it can spiral my anxiety too sometimes), does it definitely adversely affect sleep? I almost always fall asleep on the sofa after a glass of wine in front of the tv! It can help relax me in social situations too I guess at it lowers inhibitions.

AnxiousMunchkin Thu 15-Dec-16 22:50:31

Lanornac - for the morning smile - id love to hear more about hypnotherapy too.

Lamornac Fri 16-Dec-16 07:56:30

Morning. Just to say slept fairly well (albeit with a pill) and everyone fine this morning (obvs). I think the nv fear is about the pressure to have a perfect time at Christmas and I think I really need to give up on that! Anxious - tbh been seeing a hypnotherapist for a month or so and it has been doing wonders for my anxiety driven ibs. I would def recommend - it's like an enforced meditation that takes you down lower than (I) you can go on your own. Emphasis on letting go the huge effort it takes to worry all the time. Feels like the right thing for me at the moment but expensive! X

AnxiousMunchkin Sat 17-Dec-16 07:30:22

Glad you slept well, hypnotherapy sounds very interesting when you put it like that - forced meditation! Are you aware of what is happening throughout the session, do you consciously remember it all?

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