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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

Depression & Parenting

34 replies

fruitysmoothie · 12/12/2016 15:54

Hi all, former anxiety sufferer here and now unfortunately a relapsed depressive. I'm really struggling with agitation, irritation and anger at the moment... just struggling with everything from day to day life to parenting and so on hate that I've fell back into this just wondering how any fellow sufferers cope on a day to day basis? Finding myself more snappy than a crocodile at the moment

OP posts:

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Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 12/12/2016 17:12

Are you on any meds?

UnbornMortificado · 12/12/2016 17:50

Leaving the room for five minutes usually. At my worst when I just haven't felt able to look after them sufficiently my family have had them overnight. Just so I can get pulled together. I do realise some people don't have that luxury.

If you have started meds the general guideline for most is 3 weeks to kick in properly. If you haven't it might be something to look into they can really help.

Sorry your suffering

dangermouseisace · 12/12/2016 22:45

Sorry you're struggling OP. The only thing I can think of is apologising if you have been snappy and explaining you're not well (I never do this at the time as 'there's nothing wrong!'). Unfortunately mine play up when I'm unwell due to being unsettled, I get more cranky, and it gains momentum. Is this happening with yours?

Otherwise, doing whatever it takes to reduce pressure until a bit better- whether that is asking granny if she could have kids for a bit, only cooking easy food, utilising the electronic babysitter, whatever gets you through the day in one piece. When I'm ok it's easier to take a step back and remember whatever is going on at that time is 'only a moment', and it will pass.

fruitysmoothie · 12/12/2016 23:21

Yes I am on mess itisnoteasybeingdifferent.

Thank you for the advice unborn, I'll be sure to try! I just find the littlest things really irritate me at the moment and I hate that because that's not me

Thanks dangermouse, I'm exactly the same, at the time 'I'm fine' but I'm not deep down. Erm... I don't think DD plays up more when I feel like that, I don't think she notices to be honest as I hold so much of it in in the hope it won't affect her but her behaviour since starting school in Sep has been difficult to say the least so that doesn't help sometimes I guess

OP posts:

fruitysmoothie · 12/12/2016 23:22

Sorry I meant meds not mess itsnoteasybeingdifferent

OP posts:

UnbornMortificado · 13/12/2016 07:42

Meds can make you worse before your better unfortunately.

Kids can be a pain in the arse as well mine can sense weakness (semi lighthearted)

You will get through it and hopefully feel a lot better with them

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 13/12/2016 07:55

Smootine,
If I could nderstand why I get depressed... well life would be different. I have come to learn that it just happens every now and then.

I do understand I get more depressed when I am tired and run down and especially during the winter. Being a mum is very hard work and relentless. (Did anyone actually tell you it never stops until DC's are about thirty?). So you have all the ingreedients to feel depressed..And of course it is a feedback loop.

You say you have fallen back into it. Which means you have had it before. Please remember that being depressed does not make you a bad mum. Juts someone who is going through a bad patch.

fallenempires · 13/12/2016 15:55

fruity sorry to hear that you're going through this.Do you feel that you have reached the point where you need some help?
There's some positive threads on here at the moment about AD's starting to kick in within the week and take the edge off iyswim.
My GP did say to me that children are aware of when you're at your lowest & will push you & push you.I witnessed this whilst out shopping the other day & the poor mum was so frazzled,I ended up talking to her whilst stood in the queue as I really felt for her!

fruitysmoothie · 13/12/2016 16:13

Thank you so much itsnoteasy, I can't tell you how much I needed to hear those last few lines!

And thank you to both other posters... I have been on my meds since summer (for anxiety) which includes a beta blocker and a SSRI so nothing to do with them kicking in etc...

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fallenempires · 13/12/2016 16:58

fruity is it worth getting an emergency appointment with the GP as your meds might need tweaking/changing.
Parenting is a daily challenge in itself but dare I say it we're 12 days away from Christmas & you need to be able to manage for your family.

fruitysmoothie · 13/12/2016 17:06

I thought about that fallen but I don't want my meds messing with as, as much as I dislike how I'm feeling right now, I'd rather have this anyday over anxiety

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fallenempires · 13/12/2016 17:27

I think in your position that it might be worth getting that appt.View it as seeking reassurance if that makes sense.

fruitysmoothie · 13/12/2016 19:51

Yeah it does but I know they'll try and change my meds and I don't want that

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Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 13/12/2016 22:07

Ahem....
If you are using meds and saying things that indicate they are not quite working as you would like... Why do you want to stick with them?

Just asking in a hopefully freindly sort of way.

fruitysmoothie · 13/12/2016 22:39

Itsnoteasy because anxiety to me is much harder than depression and right now my medication is keeping me from having panic attacks etc

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fallenempires · 14/12/2016 00:15

fruity I agree with Its'not it sounds like the meds for anxiety are doing the job but possibly the others aren't being as effective any longer.I would def get that emergency appt & discuss it with your GP if only for some reassurance.

fruitysmoothie · 14/12/2016 11:15

Yes I guess your both right I'm just scared of my anxiety returning

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fallenempires · 14/12/2016 21:57

If you go in & discuss it can be sorted,tell GP what you have posted on here.It does sound as though something might need adjusting or changing & please do stress that your concern is the anxiety returning.

fruitysmoothie · 15/12/2016 00:30

Thanks fallen

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UnbornMortificado · 15/12/2016 14:17

What meds are you on fallen if you don't mind me asking?

Sometimes you can be prescribed two meds at once, one for the anxiety and one for the depression. I have done in the past I was citalapram and mirtazapine at the same time for 5 years.

I know the fear of the anxiety coming back and it's horrible. Obviously adding a new pill is chance to come with the usual side effects but it would be unlikely to be anxiety if the doctor tries to combat that.

It will be up to your GP of course but it's worth inquiring about.

MagicChanges · 15/12/2016 14:21

So sorry smoothie that you're feeling so crap. I suffer from intermittent depression which can be severe and my kids are all grown, so I salute you young mums who are coping with children and depression/anxiety.

I get what you are saying about your meds but I still think you need to see the GP. You don't have to do anything about your meds if you don't want to - it should be a partnership between you and your GP - we pay their salary!

You mention an SSRI - the usual ones are citalopram or sertraline and I know they can be effective for anxiety, which seems to be what's happened in your case. Could be that the dose needs to be increased. You don't have to change. Sometimes another med has to be added to augement the one you're already taking, but GPs can't do this - needs to be done by a psychiatrist.

Mental illness is a complete bugger - sending you warm wishes.

fallenempires · 15/12/2016 14:37

Unborn I'm on 40mg of Citalopram atm it helps with the pressure of parenting my teenage DD.I am ashamed to admit that if I wasn't taking them I would be at risk to both her & myself.
However you've reminded me to get a GP appointment as I missed my review appt as my GP was on annual leave & I prefer to see him.
What meds do you take?

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UnbornMortificado · 15/12/2016 14:45

Sorry fallen i typed the wrong username I wasn't telling you, you needed more meds honest it was to you fruity sorry I can't multitask for shit.

I've been on amitripiline since February (I fell pregnant) and touch wood I've been stable since. I think a lot people feel the same way you do. I'm bi-polar aswell and off meds I would very much not be able to parent at all it's nothing to be ashamed off.

UnbornMortificado · 15/12/2016 14:48

Fruity I'm not telling you that you need more meds either just a second one might help combat the depression,

fallenempires · 15/12/2016 15:27

Unborn no probs I didn't take it that way!
I'm definitely not ashamed to take them it's either AD's or me losing it & I am not in anyway a violent person but I had reached the point of being pushed too far too many times
I think that logically you do have to accept that parenting is a learning curve & there will be both good & bad times.

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