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What are your symptoms of depression?

(28 Posts)
mumofthreesmallmen3 Sat 26-Nov-16 09:08:53

My family (mum and sisters) have recently said to me they think I might be depressed. I don't know if I am or not, I have some symptoms but not all. I'm not sitting around sad all day, I get on with all the stuff I used to do, I still look after the house and put my make up on look after myself and the kids as I always have. Sometimes yes I do want to be left alone but that is not aimed towards my children, more towards my mum when she visits half the time I just feel like why can't u go? I still feel all the emotions towards my children, I love them very much, I have problems showing emotion to anyone else though? Is that a sign? I've become a lot more anxious about things since my third was born a year ago, just jittery and anxious in general, and have had a panic attack out of the blue a few months ago never had one before and it was very scary as I didn't know what it was. I haven't had one since. What were you like when you had depression do you have to be constantly down to have it?

alloutofnameideas Sat 26-Nov-16 09:15:09

I suffer with depression. I am very up and down. Can be on top of the world and really well groomed with a tidy house for a week then spend a few weeks letting everything pile up around me, never managing to get in the shower, doing the bare minimum for meals for everyone, not engaging with the kids or the other half. I get very angry and anxious when I'm down. Feel constantly on edge and paranoid. Think everyone must be talking about me and want to run away or at least hide in the house so nobody can see me or watch me or judge me. I am on medication which is more geared towards anxiety and it has helped a lot. Don't know how helpful that is for you sorry.

Gingernaut Sat 26-Nov-16 09:24:41


The main symptom is anhedonia. A complete lack of joy and enthusiasm. I'm just going through the motions.

Things I usually find enjoyable generate no 'spark'.

I can talk myself out of going to the cinema, going 'out', visiting an art gallery or going to see a show.

Even if I've bought the tickets.

I have to make myself go with the grim determination required to trek across a desert or run a marathon.

I generally like it when I get there but everything is muted. I like it, I don't love it. I'm not glad I went.

Everything is meh.

mumofthreesmallmen3 Sat 26-Nov-16 09:41:34

What medication was it? I don't know wether I should see gp or not. Is it likely to be post natal as started to feel more anxious a couple of months after the baby was born? I also feel quite paranoid of what people are saying/thinking and on edge too but I'm very busy with three young children I kind of thought it was normal. I go through stages too where I get everything done and other days when I can't really be bothered, I still find enjoyment in my kids do you think it's worth a visit to gp?

Finola1step Sat 26-Nov-16 09:47:28

I'm no doctor, but it does sound like that a mild level of anxiety may be worth discussing with your GP. For me, depression is much more of the long term going through the motions, no emotion, no joy for weeks on end. If you are struggling a bit in your relationship with your mum, then could it be that motherhood itself makes you view you own mother differently to before?

alloutofnameideas Sat 26-Nov-16 09:57:21

It wouldn't hurt to discuss it with your GP. I take citalopram. It doesn't cure me. It takes the edge off. I would take something stronger but am breastfeeding youngest. I have 5 young kids. Being a bit stressed is normal. But getting no enjoyment from anything is not. I wouldn't necessarily say it is post natal, it may be the extra work involved with the third child, it could be anything really. Do you get any help with the kids? I had Homestart come in once a week for the first year or so after my twins were born and it helped so much to have someone impartial come in to occupy the kids or lend an ear for me to have a rant. It helps to talk to someone not closely connected with your life.

mumofthreesmallmen3 Sat 26-Nov-16 09:59:27

We've grown apart since my third was born a year ago, she was a good mum and a good grandmother to my kids but I was finding myself thinking More and more when she comes here that I'm waiting for her to leave, just wana be with the kids, can't be bothered to chat to her kind of thing. She doesn't get on with my partner and I find that stressful, I'm always in the middle of them, pressured from both sides maybe that's had more of a impact I thought. I'll see the gp I think, sometimes other people see things you don't see yourself so they may be right

ktjb39 Sat 26-Nov-16 10:03:48

For me I just felt continually exhausted and on the surface I was absolutely fine - obsessed with my home looking immaculate and doing lots of activities with my two little boys but inside everything was an effort and I could not find any joy in anything. This manifested itself in feeling panicky and I was convinced I was ill. It's different for everyone and I take sertraline which has helped me see through the fog and realise that I've felt like this for a long time. I feel so much better these days. Speak to your dr, I had some counselling sessions which were helpful. Hope you feel better soon.

SkyLucy Sat 26-Nov-16 10:07:16

Definitely worth a chat with your GP. Depression manifests itself in different ways, but no, you don't have to be 'constantly down'. I have chronic depression but that doesn't mean it's constant...mine tends to come in long 'episodes'. I think a PP is right - you sound like you're suffering with anxiety - I personally don't have this, but then I avoid any situation in which I'm uncomfortable, ever! (Not healthy, I know!)

Do have a chat, best of luck x

mumofthreesmallmen3 Sat 26-Nov-16 10:16:07

Ktjb that is how I feel, panicky in general not really a reason why. What's the differences between depression and anxiety? Are they connected? I did convince myself a little while ago I had a serious illness, of course it tuned out I didn't but at the time I really thought I had it because of my symptoms, my symptoms were physical things but I read even the physical symptoms can be caused by anxiety. Do I have anxiety because I'm depressed? How do you even get anxiety? Thankyou everyone

ktjb39 Sat 26-Nov-16 10:35:19

For me the physical symptoms were part of anxiety - I remember going out for a run and thinking well if I collapse then hopefully someone will take me to hospital and find out what's wrong with me - of course I didn't but it didn't give me the reassurance I needed. I still feel anxious at times but those anxious feelings are normal and not overwhelming. I think talking to someone would be your first step - I kept my feelings totally to myself (still do) and that isn't a good thing.

AnxiousCarer Sat 26-Nov-16 10:47:18


I've suffered with depression in the past:

Sleeping longer than usual or insomnia
Lack of interest in things I would normally enjoy
Easily tearful or irritable
Feeling listless
Feeling numb
Feeling hopeless
Wanting to hide away and not have visitors.

I am currently suffering with anxiety for the first time, linked to PTSD:

Tightness in chest
Faster breathing
Feeling panicky for no apparent reason
Poor concentration
Poor memory
Unable to manage simple tasks e.g. making a cup of coffee as can't work out how at tines.

I asked my CPN why the GP had put me on antidepressants for my anxiety as I wasn't depressed this time. He explained that they are very closely linked and can stem from similar chemical imballance in the brain. Anxiety and Depression amongst other things are the result of stress from what I understood.

I suspect everyones symptoms are a little different, you can find the screening tools that the GPs use online so you could always have a look andeven print out your score to take with you to the GP.

As for DH and DM not getting along, I sympathise, I am in the same situation. It has damaged my relationship with DM e.g. I don't feel able to tell my DM about my PTSD as I know she will blame DH and use it as yet another thing against him. The last time she visited she spent a whole day telling me about how misserable her own marriage was and how she could see the same things happening in mine, which resulted in me wishing she would leave too! (She has taken a long time to warm to my SIL too so I think its more her issues than ours)

mumofthreesmallmen3 Sat 26-Nov-16 10:57:02

Sounds like it could be more anxiety than depression then, and I had the panic attack too which is anxiety related? They both annoy me, both bitching about the other, feel like I always have to choose between them and I'm stuck in the middle would make life a lot easier if they got along more and tolerated each other better. Is anxiety caused by a imbalance then or by things that have happened etc?

wobblywonderwoman Sat 26-Nov-16 11:03:19

Hi op

I have what my go calls reactive depression. I actually think it has eased off a great deal as I no longer feel anxious abd am enjoying myself a lot more lately. I think I have had it all my life and have been a little bit of a people pleaser. I am learning to stick up for myself. Cut out negative people. Book things to look forward to.

I was on citropram for three months but I felt it numbed me a lot.

Now I am learning how to manage it myself. Also my DC are growing out of the difficult stage. I am back to work and that type of thing.

Hope you feel better soon - it is important to sort it

wobblywonderwoman Sat 26-Nov-16 11:03:50


AnxiousCarer Sat 26-Nov-16 20:56:42

Is anxiety caused by a imbalance then or by things that have happened etc?
For me the PTSD is caused by something that has happened, the anxiety is a symptom of this. CPN seemed to be saying that it was linked to brain chemical imballance too, and GP has put me on mirtazapine which is an antidepressant and has helped with the anxiety, just starting therapy with psychologist to deal with the PTSD.

Regardless of cause of anxiety its worth discussing with your GP as they may be able to help either with medication or referal for councelling, cbt etc or a combimation.

imnervous Sat 26-Nov-16 21:28:03

I've flitted in and out of depression for a few years. One of my most obvious symptoms is not having any emotions. So for example normally I'd feel really upset if I saw something on the news involving children etc but I didn't feel anything then I know somethings not right. TBH that's the worst feeling for me as I'm a naturally very caring person and I felt like an evil cow sad. I just felt nothing at all

Other symptoms include not bothering about myself - having to force myself in the shower- and having a general can't be arsed attitude towards life

BlairWaldorfxOxO Sat 26-Nov-16 22:22:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnxiousCarer Sun 27-Nov-16 09:44:04

I think you need to go see your GP next week, online people can only tell you their own experiences, we are not trained to diagnose and we can't offer much in the way of help. Your GP will have plenty of experience, the relevant training and know where to go to help.

Blossomdeary Sun 27-Nov-16 09:55:44

When I had a severe depressive illness 2 years ago it was in response to surgery. Afterwards I felt so very very ill - not sad, but ill. I just kept falling asleep, could barely lift my arms and had a ghastly sinking sensation in my stomach. I used to weep and weep because I felt so very ill and there seemed no possibility that it would ever end - I would plead with my family to "let me go" and not make me stay alive in such misery, It was truly dreadful and very very frightening. I am on a small maintenance dose of anti-depressant, but when I feel even a hint of the sinking feeling I am so very scared.

I get a bit irritated when I hear people say they have depression when the are just feeling a bit down - they have no idea what the real thing feels like. It is indescribable. And truly truly dreadful.

dangermouseisace Sun 27-Nov-16 14:33:29

it might be worthwhile going to the GP to see if you could get counselling or something, as it sounds like there are things in your life that are causing you to be anxious.

People are often prone to blame behaviour that they don't like- e.g. someone being grumpy on something being 'wrong' with the person e.g. your mum thinking your depressed, rather than just fed up of having her around all the time!

It's important to remember than any mental illness is part of a continuum of what is normal. Imagine a line going from manic to depressed with hypomanic, happy, indifferent, low mood, depressed, severely depressed. most people will be roughly in the middle, less as you go towards the far ends of the scale. Those with a diagnosed mental illness tend to be at the far ends of the scale. It's normal to get some symptoms of depression/anxiety and still be 'normal'. It's whether it is having a detrimental impact on your everyday life and preventing you from doing what you want or need to do that requires thinking about. As if your mum is suggesting that you are depressed that is kind of suggesting you need medication…but of course medication comes with side effects so it's whether you think you would rather have your symptoms or the side effects. Hence why I suggested that if you are able to get on with your everyday life, and feel surprised at what your mum is suggesting, counselling might be more beneficial!

FWIW when I'm properly depressed I find it difficult to do anything due to my brain just being filled with fog and thoughts of death. Tidying, washing up, looking after the children- I just can't do it. I'm 'better' now in that I can function but still think of death on a daily basis/end up in tears in inappropriate situations on a daily basis!

When I've been said to be anxious to the point that it's a problem I've been continually jittery, having very frequent panic attacks/not able to eat due to feeling sick due to feeling anxious/having to keep moving/catastrophising/still no concentration. So they are quite different, looking at it written down. But these feelings were generally all day, and draining.

It sounds like you have reasons to be anxious- relationships etc- do you think talking about it with someone might help?

paperlane Mon 28-Nov-16 15:19:51

I have very severe depression at times. I am not the type of person to get emotional and cry but I tend to withdraw from all activities even if they are major planned events (like a big birthday or wedding). It's just not possible to just force myself to go, any more than it is possible for a blind person to read words off a page. I often don't get out of bed for days, let alone get washed or dressed. The housework gets massively neglected (to the point where social services have intervened) and when the dc were younger I couldn't get out of bed to take them to school (they are old enough to get themselves there now). I eat really badly, I can't cook or prepare food but I don't lose my appetite so I just eat whatever doesn't have to be cooked (e.g. cold food straight from tins). I can't focus on things like television or reading so I often just stay in bed, taking pills to help me sleep because it's the best way to pass the time.

timelytess Mon 28-Nov-16 15:22:50

There's a knot of numb pain in the chest. Its big and heavy and it seems never to go away, even when other things are getting done.

See your GP and get some talking therapy.

myoriginal3 Mon 28-Nov-16 15:30:14

For me, fear of leaving house is prime indicator. That and failure to shower daily. Fear of answering phone or door

Bumplovin Mon 28-Nov-16 15:32:26

When I get anxious I overthink think things, worry that ive offended people, get some repetitive negative thoughts and struggle to sleep. It can be a chemical thing in like to do with postnatal depression or an underlying anxiety disorder possibly but can also be reactive to what's going on with your mum. Could you talk to her about it or maybe ask gp for some counselling to work through your worries. Citalopram helped me but the most beneficial thing was the psychology. Im not anxious currently but due to have a baby so pnd is a possibility. If it came on after having your third child and you think it could be postnatal there is a charity called 'pandas' offering local coffee morning type support groups for women and think there is a helpline you can ring for advice. Might be worth googling it to see if there are any groups in your area? Hope u feel better soon x

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