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Coping with anxiety and depression

(11 Posts)
Parmaviolets13 Sun 20-Nov-16 22:39:24


I have previously posted re my anxiety and depression when it got really bad, and the mumsnet community were so lovely.

Unfortunately, im back again!!

I have been to the doctors, spoken to occupational health at work, tried anti depressants (which I really didn't get on with) and for a while I thought: I can do this without help.

Turns out I cant. I am really struggling at work again, it's almost like im on auto pilot but can't function.
I went home Thursday morning and took friday as annual leave as it was all getting on top of me and I had to get out. But now the weekend has gone (incredibly bloody quick) and the dooooom of going back is looming! I don't have a bad job but why do I feel like this?

Me and my partner - who is ever so supportive - bought a small house this year, but this week ive been thinking oh god why did we do this, and the only reason why is because id love to go part time but I cant!

Ive contacted a private counsellor this weekend to see them, and we're also looking at getting a lovely lazy greyhound who needs rehoming - so helping her - plus me because its something else to focus on.

I'm not sure why im posting this, and im sorry it's so long, I just feel I needed to off load, or maybe have someone who's experienced it too to maybe have some advice?

Thanks for reading flowers

Wolfiefan Sun 20-Nov-16 22:42:42

The dog could be a great idea. Exercise. Particularly exercise outside is really supposed to help.
And hounds are ace!
Worth trying a different AD? (It can take a while to find the right one/dose. You do need to stick at it and take them for several weeks.)Tried CBT at all?

Parmaviolets13 Sun 20-Nov-16 22:45:25

Hello wolfie. Thanks for replying!
That's definitely one of the reasons for a dog, it forces me to go out when I don't want to and exercise is supposed to help.
Ive tried two and was so poorly I lost half a stone in a week, maybe I should try another. I think I'm on a waiting list for cbt, is it overly different from counselling?

Couchpotato3 Sun 20-Nov-16 22:47:24

Been there, got the T-shirt! Horrid, isn't it?

The greyhound sounds like a good idea - it will give you a reason to get outdoors every day. I find a bit of fresh air and sunlight is really helpful, especially in the dark winter months.

Stop beating yourself up with the "Why do I feel like this?" questions. Depression and anxiety can certainly be triggered by stuff that is going on in your life, but they are also separate from it as well and to some extent are 'free-floating' feelings. If you can recognise them as that, it can help to separate the bad feelings from the reality of your life - you can stop trying to make it make sense, if you see what I mean?

Feeling depressed and anxious eats away at your ability to cope with things like work. However, taking a moment to say to yourself "OK, I'm feeling lousy, but that's just the depression/anxiety talking, and now I'm going to do (insert activity) in spite of how I'm feeling", can help you move forwards.

Good luck flowers

Couchpotato3 Sun 20-Nov-16 22:50:16

CBT is a very specific kind of therapy - from memory, it's all about challenging negative patterns of thinking and learning to get in the habit of reframing things in a positive way. It is supposed to be very effective for anxiety and depressions. There are self-help books that you can get that take you through the basic techniques - maybe worth a try?
Counselling can be very variable, depending on who you are seeing, and is much more free-range - could take you in a number of different directions.

Wolfiefan Sun 20-Nov-16 22:51:46

I needed ADs. They do take a while to work and you need to stick with it. I felt worse before I felt better!
The ADs allowed me to cope with CBT. I found some of it rubbish but use some of it every day. (I plan out my week to prove to my anxious/neurotic side that I can cope and to ensure I do things I enjoy as well as mundane and necessary tasks.)
FYI I'm off all ADs. And I was a right state. Gave up work etc. I'm still low at times but the strategies I learnt in CBT help. (It's not about talking about problems. It's about how you behave and think. Very simplistic view!)

Parmaviolets13 Sun 20-Nov-16 23:00:07

Well CBT does sound like it would work, learning how to deal with it would be better than just rambling my feelings to a counsellor.

I do force myself at work, they know I suffer and if im struggling and i disappear for 5 minutes they know im just taking a minute to myself. I know deep down being busy at work and having a routine is better for me than having the day off although there is a part of me that thinks I would love not to work!

Thank you both for commenting it's so nice that im not on my own! flowersflowers

Wolfiefan Sun 20-Nov-16 23:08:57

You are completely not on your own.
I no longer work but still have to have a routine IYSWIM. I'm also in the process of getting a hound myself.
I find it really useful to tell myself "yep that's your anxiety!" When I'm being really daft. And also to think what I'd say if a friend said they felt like I did. Eg I have no reason to be depressed. Friend: you don't need a reason. It's an illness you dope! (My friends are honest!)
I also have a "this too will pass" mantra.
Can you try and do one thing a day that lifts your spirits? Exercise or listen to music (I sing in the car! blush) or contact a friend?

Parmaviolets13 Sun 20-Nov-16 23:14:31

I know what you mean, I am absolutely useless without a routine, and I do do the same because I know it's my anxiety and will pin point that but as you know, it doesn't stop sad
I did start thinking recently I need to do something everyday to lift my spirits. I do sing in the shower!! grin ive started knitting and baking too which helps takes my mind off things. I just take it day by day, if I get through the day it's a triumph smile

Wolfiefan Sun 20-Nov-16 23:17:15

I ONLY sing in the car when alone (and the windows are rolled up!) my singing voice is shocking!
If I bake I eat it. All!
I like knitting and try and read too. (Find I can't always when bad.)
Recently tried crochet too.
Ok. Not sleeping well. Must try soon. Grey pics soon? Please! I'm waiting for a pup! Seems like forever at the mo. grin

Parmaviolets13 Mon 21-Nov-16 12:33:30

Haha I have the same problem re baking. Ive been known to make brownies but no one to eat them so ive eaten a whole tray! Damn you Delia.
I'm picking her up friday for a trial. I shall post a picture then grin thank you for your support and kind words x

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