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Quaking in my boots, hand hold please?

(17 Posts)
soverynervous Sun 06-Nov-16 08:35:13

I have PTSD. I lost my job as a result and I haven't worked for nearly a year.
I start a new job tomorrow and I am shaking all over, I've got everything ready, planned my route, I've taken my meds but I'm still terrified.

Earlier in the year I tried to take my own life a few times so I know lots of worse things have happened to me and rationally it's only a new job and of course I'll be nervous but I can't calm down.

Please tell me it'll be alright.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Sun 06-Nov-16 09:05:19

Virtual hugs ...
Please tell us about your new job.

What are you going to be doing?
Where is it from home?
How will you get to work?
Do you have a canteen or somewhere to get lunch?.

soverynervous Sun 06-Nov-16 09:48:55

Thank you it'snoteasy it's a completely new career for me, office based but good salary.
It's very corporate and I'm actually excited about wearing proper suits and heels as opposed to the smart/casual of my previous job.

About 15 miles from home, tomorrow I'll drive but sometimes I'll get the bus.

I don't think there's a canteen so I'm going to make myself a salad I like for lunch tomorrow.

I'm not the only one starting so I hope there'll be unity in fear!

kavvLar Sun 06-Nov-16 09:53:51

New things and changes are hard at the best of times, let alone with PTSD. Someone once told me to try and focus on / channel nerves into excitement rather than fear. You will be great. Best of luck. Is there anything you think might help you tomorrow? flowers

AnxiousCarer Sun 06-Nov-16 10:09:54

Good luck with the new job? Have you got any coping strategies for your PTSD? I find meditation before work helps my day go smoother. I also have some techneques that I can use to calm me down and lock myself in the looto do these. My work are very understanding and I have permission to goto a quiet area or go for a walk if I need to, maybe you could do somethingin your breaks/lunch.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Sun 06-Nov-16 10:49:49

So Very, If it is a big corporate sort of place, you won't do any "work" tomorrow...

There will be the corporate induction instead.
Showing you your desk,
The health and safety talk,
Issuing passes, car park permits (if necessary)
Paperwork for your pension contributions
Visit to people you have to meet
Sorting out IT.... which will probably not be working and therefore prevent you from actually be able to work.
And of course, the corporate talk...

soverynervous Sun 06-Nov-16 21:12:53

Thank you for your replies.
I went for a walk today, it didn't do much good!
Meditation is good sometimes too but at other times I'm too twitchy literally limbs twitching to relax and meditate.

I don't think I'll do any 'work' tomorrow either, it's just that getting up and doing it will be a big deal.

I'm ok when I know the parameters of a situation but the unknowns set me off and that's what I'm wrestling with now.

I've organised everything so tomorrow I just have to get up and out there. I just hope I sleep tonight.

Good luck tomorrow OP!

You probably have your own coping techniques, but a good one that my therapist taught me was to focus on three parts of your body that are touching something (this is easier when you're sitting down, but can be done standing if you think of say, your jacket touching your wrist). He then got me to work through each mentally, taking six breaths as I thought about each different point. It is a grounding exercise - "I am here now" rather than "I am reliving XYZ". I use it a lot when I'm in new situations as no-one can see I'm doing it!

romanrainsalot Sun 06-Nov-16 21:30:42

Wow. Good luck tomorrow OP!

TBH you probably won't sleep great tonight, try to accept that rather than worry (only 6hrs, only 5hrs to go etc), you will probably sleep better once first day is out of the way.

If you are not the only newbie there will be safety in numbers.

soverynervous Mon 07-Nov-16 08:32:37

I had a brilliant sleep!
I'm on the bus, nearly there and I'm excited now. When did they put wifi on buses? Wow. Modern.

The concentrate on 3 things tip is a good one, I like that, I'll try it, thank you.

How did it go?

AnxiousCarer Tue 08-Nov-16 13:17:28

I use an an app called headspace on my phone, it talks you through meditation but also has an sos section with 3 minute chunks to help with those pannicky moments. Can listen to it via headphones invthe loo etc. Sos isn't on the free version, but I find it worth paying for the full version.

soverynervous Wed 09-Nov-16 10:52:48

Great, all was fine, it's going well.

Great news. Long may it continue.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Fri 11-Nov-16 08:54:09

Update please after a week at work...
How did It go...

soverynervous Sat 19-Nov-16 08:42:37

Sorry, I've only just seen this so it's been 2 weeks now.

I'm training, it's me and the rest are men, to start with they excluded me and that pushed my buttons a bit, I immediately started blaming myself but they've warmed to me now and they ask me to go to lunch with them so I realise it wasn't me after all.

The work is great, I love it.

My commute is tricky and that's stressful but otherwise it's going well and I'm proud of myself. 6 months ago I couldn't leave the house so this is huge.

Well done. What fabulous news.

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