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Can I just offload please then I'll feel better?

(6 Posts)
goingmadinthecountry Sun 30-Oct-16 18:43:08

I'm just feeling a bit worn down right now - minor I know compared with lots of you. My dad is very ill - big cancer op next week and he's had a few minor procedures. He's 88 so not good. I'm an only child, 3 cousins is my entire family, all at the far end of the country. DH was out of work (between contracts) for about 3 months so money is really tight - still seems to spend it madly although I'm scrimping on everything. Was furious with him for buying something totally unnecessary for his hobby yesterday. 2 DDs at uni - one postgrad so no funding for living expenses in London so I work bloody hard for very little money right now. Dad's op coincides with dd2's 21st. He's the only grandparent they see and I don't think the children are aware quite how ill he is. I hate living in the middle of nowhere - spend all of my time in the car. Even the nearest gym is 10 miles away. Had to cancel that anyway because of work and money. Oh, and I don't sleep well - never have. Even worse at the moment because my mind buzzes all night - I definitely don't get enough mental stimulation. Not to mention my £600 tax bill - child benefit to pay back. Dh and I don't share any of the same interests. And breathe. Thanks, feel better for that. Doesn't seem all that when I write it down.

AnxiousCarer Sun 30-Oct-16 20:25:31

Big hugs sounds like you've got a lot on your plate. Feel free to join wrists bitches for some friendly chit chat, its a safe space for those who need it.

Addled Sun 30-Oct-16 20:29:54

Parents one end, children the other...it's hard work!

EmeraldIsle100 Sun 30-Oct-16 20:46:41

You have an awful lot to deal with so it really is no wonder that you feel worn down. Don't underestimate the pressure you are under. If your DH is not supporting you enough I recommend that you point that out to him and ask him for more help. Needless to say he should not be spending foolishly at this point in time. Instead of telling everyone that you are fine try telling them that you feel very stressed and could do with some help.

Why not visit your doctor about your sleeping problems? My DD had similar issues and got medication to help which gave her a bit more energy to deal with the problems she was facing.

Could you get out for a walk at some stage to replace the gym?

Can you work out a repayment plan for the bills? Give them a ring and you might be surprised, that might take the pressure off you.

If you are doing all the lifts stop now and make sure your DH is doing his fair share.

Women, including me, are not very good at asking for help and telling everyone they are fine when they are patently not fine. Learn how to say no!

I hope your dad's op goes ok. You really have a lot to content with so please go easy on yourself. Best wishes

goingmadinthecountry Sun 30-Oct-16 21:20:34

Thank you for the support. I will phone the tax office - I just keep forgetting! It's one less daft thing to worry about. I guess as long as dh has a good solid length of work now we'll be fine. A gap in his employment a couple of years ago wiped out my financial buffer and I haven't had chance to build it up again yet. There are people in a far worse situation.

I do feel much better for writing it all down.

I'm officially Britain's squeezed middle.

BecauseIamaBear Sun 30-Oct-16 22:15:08

In which case can we call you squeezed... ?

Oh and you are welcome to unload here...

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