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Partner with PTSD

(5 Posts)
imheretoo Sat 29-Oct-16 19:34:50

Just after some other perspectives, as I've realised I've just been ploughing along without talking about this issue with anyone who might have experience!

My partner has PTSD after a one-off incident. I won't give details for anonymity purposes. His treatment is finally the right one and is working, but it's been a long road of 18 months.

My question is, am I being unreasonable for feeling "fatigue" of the whole thing? I feel - and am - supportive, understanding, tolerant; yet angry with him and resentful at the same time at how it has affected us all. Part of his treatment is to examine his own thought processes and learn to deal with them better. I understand this. Yet I feel as if we hear an awful lot about how he feels and not much about how I feel. We are able to talk about this and he is understanding of my position, but not able to give me the support he used to. I feel a bit neglected I guess.

I suppose I feel that the man I could always turn to and always be strong no matter what was thrown at us, has let me down (I know this sounds selfish and irrational). He was infallible and now he's not. I don't know if he will ever be the same again.

Sorry for the ramble. Can anyone enlighten me on a) what he's going through or b) how they coped as a supporter of someone with PTSD? Because I'm only human too smile

Hedgehog80 Sat 29-Oct-16 19:39:03

I have PTSD

The one thing that dh has done most is allow me to go over the same things literally thousands of times. He has spent hours and hours just letting me talk and cry and process events time and time again.
He also attended some of my sessions so he could see for himself what helps and so that my therapist could speak with him and reassure him

I often feel guilty for what I put him through

imheretoo Sat 29-Oct-16 19:44:19

Sorry to hear that hedgehog. I have listened over and over; and gone to sessions too. Perhaps I should revisit this (the sessions I mean). I don't want him to feel any guilt as it's not a helpful emotion sad

Hedgehog80 Sat 29-Oct-16 20:03:44

It really helped when dh came to some sessions I think before that he felt unable to help me and she gave him some really useful ideas of how to help me and very importantly how to calm me down

AnxiousCarer Sat 29-Oct-16 22:14:32

Hi, I've got experience of both sides. DH suffers episodes of psychosis and Isupport him through this. I have PTSD from what happened during his last crisis.

It's hard to see someone you love suffering and not be able to make it better.I am used to it now and have learned to deal with it better, but DH is struggling with this now our roles have been reversed. It's also hard work supporting someone with MH problems and its easy for their illness to swallow both of you. Its really important to make time to do things for yourself too, things that you enjoy and have a break from your caring role.

I'm only just starting treatment, I see a councellor and a CPN from DHs team for support. My GP has just altered my medication and I am waiting to see a psycologist. I am also aboutvto start joint sessions with DH and our respective CPNs. I have found that the councelling is triggering difficult emotions and my symptoms are getting worse in the short term. I struggle with anxiety, pannic attacks and urges to self harm.

I can understand you feeling a little resentful about all the focus being on him. When we are unwell it can be all consuming and not leave us much energy for anyone else. This is one reason it is so important to make time for yourself too. I am quite worried about how my illness is impacting on DH MH and am hoping to discuss this with his CPN next week too.

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