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My Sister threw herself off a Bridge. Don't know if I have PTSD

(18 Posts)
notthatagain Thu 27-Oct-16 21:12:11

13 years ago I found out my Sister had committed suicide by jumping off a Bridge.

I dealt with the grief really well and it was only when my Son was born and I was diagnosed with Postnatal Depression that the death has affected me massively. I moved away from friends and kept wishing she was still here to see my Son but most importantly, I kept imagining her last hours, her walk to the bridge, her free falling,. It was horrible.

I got help for my Postnatal Depression and got better but these horrible thought enter my head several times a day. If I go over a Bridge it gets worse and I feel a bit dizzy and wobbly. The Bridge that she died from is in my hometown and if I have to walk over that, I am thinking of the walk she did, specifically her jump off it and her hitting the water. But worst of all, I have an absolutely horrible sensation that the wind will pick me up, I'll trip or fall into the water below and die. I run across as quickly as I can.

After she died I got no help whatsoever which is a shame, but I always felt fine until the last 3 years.

Would this be wasting the GP's time if I told him this? I know you're not medical professionals but does this sound a normal reaction to living through a traumatic death? Or PTSD? Maybe I'ms till depressed. But I don't feel depressed anymore.

EightNine Thu 27-Oct-16 21:35:48

Seeing your gp sounds like a good idea xx

IWokeUpLikeThisHonest Thu 27-Oct-16 21:38:10

I don't think you'd be unreasonable to go and ask your GP for support with this. Sounds like it could be PTSD. You probably need to have some counselling and the opportunity to talk through those thoughts you are having. Be kind to yourself flowers

pseudonymph Thu 27-Oct-16 21:44:05

not I think people respond differently to traumatic events, but it was certainly my experience that I thought I'd dealt with it for ages and then I found I hadn't. And I get the impression that having children is a common trigger for unresolved trauma of one sort or another.

Anyway it doesn't really matter if it is normal or not. It is troubling you and you would definitely not be wasting your GPs time. Go and talk to them. I think what you are experiencing might be called intrusive thoughts, though a doctor might correct me on that.

I'm so sorry about your sister flowers.

AnxiousCarer Thu 27-Oct-16 21:45:39

I agree you should see your GP. There are some online questionairres to screenvfor PTSD too you could have a look at them and maybe take your responses to the GP with you to help explain how you are feeling. My PTSD takes the form of anxiety and pannic attacks, poor memory andcpoor concentration, butvthats not necessarilyvthe same for everyone.

BiscuitMillionaire Thu 27-Oct-16 21:48:30

I'm sorry about your sister, and that you're struggling. I think this is the kind of issue that can very likely be helped by a good therapist skilled in working with trauma.

whyamIheree Thu 27-Oct-16 22:19:37

I'm not sure what I would say to a GP. Where to even start.

whyamIheree Thu 27-Oct-16 22:21:23

Sorry I name changed for this post but have decided to just keep to my original username.

I feel like I would break down if I went to the GP. I endedup crying uncontrollably when I went for my PND. It was so embarrassing!

ExitPursuedBySpartacus Thu 27-Oct-16 22:22:56

Go see your gp. And cry.

shouldwestayorshouldwego Thu 27-Oct-16 22:31:12

It sounds as if you need to go, why don't you copy your OP and print it out and give it to the GP with a request at the bottom to be referred to someone. Then if you cry you still get the message across. They are the gatekeeper and hopefully once you see a specialist you will have the time and space to work through this. flowers

kohl Thu 27-Oct-16 22:33:47

Of course you would cry. You suffered a devastating loss that you haven't come to terms with. It's completely normal. Please go and see your GP - it's really what they're there for.

I'm so sorry about your

whyamIheree Thu 27-Oct-16 22:39:57

Thanks for these replies. Anyone who was diagnosed with PTSD, can you tell me what you said to the GP?

BecauseIamaBear Thu 27-Oct-16 22:43:49

I have not experienced a suicide in my family, but a very good friend lost her brother to suicide...

It really upset her a lot. Can I suggest asking for a long appointment with your GP as a first step. There is far too much to go through in a normal consultation and if you try, She/he will be under time pressure which will not be good for you.

Good luck and please keep posting.

AppleMagic Thu 27-Oct-16 22:49:59

I just told the GP what had happened and how it was currently making me feel. She prescribed anti-depressants and referred/fast-tracked me for counselling. The AD helped a lot because they enabled me to talk things through with the counsellor without being overwhelmed by emotion. I'd previously had counselling without them and had a breakdown immediately afterwards as it just brought everything to the forefront of my mind again.

AnxiousCarer Thu 27-Oct-16 23:00:25

Pretty much the same as apple, but had already booked in with councellor through work, also see a CPN from DHs MH team for carer support. He and councellor are the ones who suggested PTSD and onward referal to psychology. Going to tell GP what they both said tommorow.

dangermouseisace Fri 28-Oct-16 19:43:33

You poor thing flowers You definitely need some sort of counselling to work through the events. Your sister wouldn't have wanted you to suffer in this way, she was obviously unwell. You definitely would not be wasting the GP's time- this is an awful thing for you to go through and is having an impact on your everyday life, and it's causing you problems.

Belsatan Fri 28-Oct-16 19:58:15

I Had pnd and went to gp and said I was feeling low and burst into tears. That was enough for him to make me fill a form and send me to see a therapist.

I think you should just tell the gp what you told us.

My Sil committed suicide two years ago. My dh, her brother, went to a support group a few month afterwards and told me that there are people there who had suffered a loss many years before. Grief comes at different times.

You have every reason to cry and sob, do not feel embarassed. You would not want anyone to keep such a pain inside.

I can suggest a good book "history of a suicide" by jill bialowsky - she herself finds it hard to deal with her sister's death years later...

Be kind to yourself. Cherish this painful time, it is a way of remembering and reconnecting. flowers

oleoleoleole Fri 28-Oct-16 20:03:10

Oh gosh my heart goes out for you. I'm not a medic but yes I think you may have PTSD along with grief. If you feel you will cry when you see your GP maybe write it all down first or take someone with you. Whatever you do, seek some sort of help. Her loss will always hurt but you will be able to find a way of dealing with it eventually.

Your sister is with you every day, she's by your side and I'm sure she'd want you to get help xx

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