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14yr old DD inpatient unit?!

(35 Posts)
Lifeisshort123 Mon 24-Oct-16 00:20:57

My 14yr old DD is just 6 stone 10 pounds and 5ft 4. She's painfully thin and has Orthorexia which has now been diagnosed with anorexia. I do my very best to make sure she eats enough calories and today I forced her to eat ice cream which she scream and cried about..
She's lost 4 pounds in just 2 days..
Her doctor told her if she went below 7 stone she would be send to an inpatient unit.
As much as I don't want her to go I have no other option as I know if she remains at home she will die eventually and if since she's lost a stocking 2 stone in the past 6 months if she hits 6 stone or below I hobestly think she will pass away. 14 just seems so young to get her life ruined as I know by her attending a mental health inpatient 24/7 unit will be on her records whilst trying to get a job ect. How bad are these inpatient units for under 18's, does anyone have any first hand experience of what they are like or how the child's day is planned out roughly?
I'm in utter shock that this has happened and DD has had spells of depression on and off for the past 2 months.sad
14 seems so young to be sent away from home.

Floralnomad Mon 24-Oct-16 00:28:30

Firstly sorry that your daughter is so unwell , I have no first hand experience of inpatient units but what I would say is be prepared that the unit may end up being many miles from home as inpatient unit beds for children / teens are generally very difficult to find. What you need to remember is come what may you are doing the best for your daughter now and I wouldn't worry about future job prospects as that's fairly irrelevant at the present .

HelloNormal Mon 24-Oct-16 00:28:41

It won't go on any records that an employer will see. Even if it did, frankly, better unemployed than dead.

My experience is from a decade and a half ago (not ED, but adolescent psych inpatient), but the basic routine was get up, have breakfast, morning circle meeting, morning school, lunch, afternoon school, back to the ward, some kind of activity, dinner, chilling out, bed.

Hope your DD feels better soon.

Lifeisshort123 Mon 24-Oct-16 00:35:22

I hope it wouldn't stay on any of her records but your right about the better unemployed than dead part.
Thank you, I hope she's not there for too long.sad

Lifeisshort123 Mon 24-Oct-16 00:36:35

I've just looked Into this and out nearest child/teen unit is a 45 minute drive from our house. shock

HelloNormal Mon 24-Oct-16 00:43:14

Sorry, that came across a bit stark. I hope you're okay and wish you strength to get through this with your DD.

Lifeisshort123 Mon 24-Oct-16 00:44:38

Thank you!sad

MsMims Mon 24-Oct-16 00:52:43

I'm not sure what you mean about her records? I was an inpatient as a child and have never declared it to any of my employers. It's none of their business. It may be something that has to be declared for life insurance, but I don't know?

My stay as an inpatient was hideous so I'll keep it to myself. Best of luck to you and your daughter flowers

Broken1Girl Mon 24-Oct-16 01:06:49

As Flora said, be prepared for there being no beds in the nearest one, so she may be placed even further away. I know you must feel awful. You can phone, Skype, message, post her nice bits (and get her friends to) between visits.

There is no shame in needing inpatient help. Sounds like she really needs it, so it's the best place for her.

I just wanted to reassure you it won't be on her 'record'. There isn't really one central record. Most jobs won't ask about her medical history. It would be a breach of data protection and illegal if anyone mentioned it in a reference. Some jobs, eg if she wanted to work with vulnerable people, may ask but it wouldn't necessarily bar her from employment. She would be invited to talk to occupational health. They will have heard it all before. An inpatient stay for anorexia that will be years ago won't be a problem. They will just want to be sure she's recovered. Overcoming mh issues actually shows good qualities, resilience, determination - many employers would look at this positively.
flowers

Minimoan Mon 24-Oct-16 01:25:39

PM you ... hope it helps ... wishing your DD recovery and good health in time to come ...

Blondie1984 Mon 24-Oct-16 02:57:20

I believe it will only go on her records if they have to make her go against her will - I.e. By sectioning her - then she will need to declare it when she travels to certain countries like the USA

Neverknowing Mon 24-Oct-16 03:11:19

Sounds like it's the best thing for her, it's absolutely heartbreaking for you both but it may help her before it becomes an even bigger problem. It may be good she's so young as well as it's less likely to have a lasting effect on her? Sending you love flowers

Broken1Girl Mon 24-Oct-16 03:18:42

I don't think that's correct Blondie - only applies to criminal convictions. I'm not sure about a section 136 (sectioned by police) but there is no suggestion OP's DD requires that at all.
OP, please don't think of it as this stain on her 'records' - it's confidential medical information and in any case, no-one will care.

Lifeisshort123 Mon 24-Oct-16 07:44:21

She wants to work with children and special needs young people but I fear the type of job she wants to do will be under threat because of her illness. I certainly don't think she'd need to sectioned under the police, I have no idea how she will cope with the mental health unit if others are violent or overly loud as she's quiet, generally sweet and her only issues are anorexia and depression. Going back to the doctors today and petrified to find out if there is something wrong with her heart. She's started to have 20/30 mins stages of a very slow or fast heartbeat which causes her pain in the chest area. Hopefully by 16 she will be okay and able to get a job.

Lifeisshort123 Mon 24-Oct-16 08:00:23

Thanks so much

starsandstripes2016 Mon 24-Oct-16 08:04:56

until recently worked on an ED inpatient unit. It was a good environment - too good, staff had to make significant changes because patients were refusing to be discharged. My very best wishes to you and your DD.

Lifeisshort123 Mon 24-Oct-16 08:08:12

If you have the time please inbox me about any bad experiences you have with the inpatient unit.

Redorwhitejusthaveboth Mon 24-Oct-16 08:08:18

My son was recently in an inpatient unit for constipation and soiling. There were a couple of girls there with eating disorders. It was the most wonderful place, calm, organised, met different kids needs. I was petrified about him being admitted but it was a really positive experience for him.
Where in the uk are you?

Lifeisshort123 Mon 24-Oct-16 08:09:30

Hi, I know all units will be different but if you find the time please may you inbox me what the structure of the day was like in the unit?
Many thanks.

Lifeisshort123 Mon 24-Oct-16 08:11:28

Glad your son seems to be getting better. We are located in a small village outside South London. How long was your son an inpatient if you don't mind me asking?
Thank you.

Redorwhitejusthaveboth Mon 24-Oct-16 08:20:28

He was in for 2 weeks - home each Friday afternoon following a meeting with the consultant and back on the Monday. It was in school holidays so no school - but in term time they have school.
Routine is all eating meals together around a table, rewards for achieving the goals set, lots of activities and trips out. Input from various specialists when needed - psychologist, dietcian, play therapy. I don't have much experience of how they manage the eating disorders which may differ

devilinmyshoes Mon 24-Oct-16 08:21:52

The ed unit saved my daughter at similar age (http://www.phoenixcentre.nhs.uk) but it was one of the hardest things we went through, she was there for a long time - average stay about six months. She's in her early twenties now and doing well.

We had a bit of a fight to get her a vegetarian meal plan, obviously treatment involved eating a much wider range of foods. I found the support of other parents invaluable, nobody else quite understood the hell we were going through!

oleoleoleole Mon 24-Oct-16 08:30:39

Please stop being so fixated on the MH stigma, it really doesn't matter. Your darling daughter is severely unwell and needs whatever care and attention to help her become well again. If she attends an inpatient unit that will give her what she needs and you some respite from the agony you are in.

Her recovery will be slow and will take years.

My son has a MH issue, once I let go of my concerns around it and accepted that is who he is I found everything so much easier to deal with. Yes I wish life was different for him but after several years in and out of MH units, several sections and lots of worry and tears he is now at college, on medication and living a relatively normal life.

You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it

That became my mantra and still is. Good luck xx

mummytime Mon 24-Oct-16 08:34:12

The one person I have followed most closely through her battle with Anorexia, was I a unit for 6 months or so, and was readmitted on at least two occasions. It was crucial for her recovery and discovering the underlying issues.
On the positive side she has just finished a degree in Psychology and is starting her postgrad training. Over the years she has got a lot of work experience with young people both voluntary and paid. She may have taken longer to get where she is now, but she has got there and is doing something she loves.

devilinmyshoes Mon 24-Oct-16 08:41:46

ED units don't really give parents respite, you need to be there a great deal of the time to get the most out of treatment. We lived closer to the unit than most of the other families but still over 50 miles each way.

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