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Work/life stress

(17 Posts)
BLACKTUESDAY1 Thu 20-Oct-16 08:49:52

I am really struggling at the moment for the first time in my life. I had an unhappy childhood and lost both parents to cancer while quite young. This has made me appreciate every day I am healthy especially with my dcs. Lately though I am finding things hard to deal with. One of my dcs is struggling with anxiety and is awaiting a CAMHS apt. I am so sad/worried for her. My dh is self employed and we are struggling a bit financially. My only constant is my job. I work in public sector and my workload has increased immensley due to cut backs. I found this hard but have just got on with it and felt lucky to have that regular wage every month to pay the mortgage. Now we have been told that they are cutting the staff in our office (we cant even cope at the moment) by over a half. Our jobs are 'at risk' and we have to interview for the remaining positions...which none of us want as they will be unmanageable. The unsuccessful ones will be placed on redeployment and could end up anywhere. In the meantime we have to just carry on with the massive workloads we have. I just cant cope with it. I am not sleeping and want to just curl up in a ball. I dont want to go out or see anyone and even little things are so hard to cope with. I was due to go to work this week but just couldnt face it and the whole process so called n sick. I have a GP apt tom but scared to be signed off with stress but i have no idea how i can deal with work on Monday

FeralBeryl Thu 20-Oct-16 09:01:04

I'm sorry you're going through this flowers I really am. It's such an unsettling time.

Firstly and most importantly. Yes, you do need to be off.
This will honestly happen without prejudice, organisations realise what a stressful time it is, stress related sickness is very common for the staff involved.

Secondly, although it's terrifying thinking about starting over, that department is clearly at breaking point and getting worse.
Would it be worth you being the early bird and cherry picking another area now?
Start having a look what/where is available and bagsie the position before anyone else does.
In my repeated experience of guiding staff through this hideous process - the ones that did this were by far the happiest and settled a lot faster as it was still their choice, rather than being given the dregs of what everyone else didn't want.

If you feel strong enough, ask whoever is managing the change for a list of the vacancies, and look in to them.

Your wage is safe, remember that to stop yourself panicking, it's the actual job title.
Who needs titles anyway wink

Use today to rest, drink tea, try some relaxation techniques, have a bath and try and stop that busyness in your head.

daryldixonishot Thu 20-Oct-16 09:06:37

I work in the public sector too it's so demoralising isn't it! You have my sympathy!
The redeployment pool - see that as a positive! Happened to me 6 years ago & I moved Dept, have a great job now, been promoted and all good! Apart from now this dept is facing 30% cuts! It's exhausting!
I don't really have re your daughter other than to say it's obvious you're doing everything you can to get her the help she needs!
It sounds glib but can you plan for the worst but hope for the best? Review your outgoings, have a look at jobs outside the public sector in your area see what skills would be valuable!
You have a lot on your plate! flowers

BLACKTUESDAY1 Thu 20-Oct-16 09:11:11

Thank you so much for your reply. I have been looking at the job board but they have told us that suitable vacancies have been kept back for the ones who are redeployed so nothing appropriate is showing. Weasked could we opt for redeployment without going for the interviews for the positions in our office that we dont want and we were told no. If we don't interview we will be seen as making ourselves jobless. Would HR let me have access to the reserved job vacancies or do you think that would be unfair?

BLACKTUESDAY1 Thu 20-Oct-16 09:14:14

I have been constantly searching other vacancies outside this sector but I live in a not so great area for employment. If they would just put me somewhere else I would probably be okay but it's the process I am finding impossible to cope withsad

FeralBeryl Thu 20-Oct-16 09:33:31

I would definitely push this issue.
They mean that as a stand alone the other jobs frozen are 'protected' for the interviewees, you need to make it clear (with HR assistance if necessary) that this is part of the at risk process and therefore makes you eligible.
Are there any areas that aren't part of the freeze but still in the organisation?

BLACKTUESDAY1 Thu 20-Oct-16 09:53:46

I am not sure at the moment. We have been told these cuts will affect most depts throughout. They are admin cuts aimed at the mid band staff. Anyone lower or higher seems safe at the moment. I could not remain in my dept with the number of staff they are proposing. It would be so unsafe for the people we deal with and risk to them would be high. I couldn't cope with that responsibility. HR have been involved in the process and our meetings so far and have basically said we need to go through the interview process before redeployment but that seems unfair. I have joined the union but only just so don't think they can help me with this.

FeralBeryl Thu 20-Oct-16 12:02:49

Hopefully it won't be the case for you, but my staff were incredibly let down by the union at the time.
They completed supported management only, lied, went back on previous minuted meetings etc.
I would find the HR officers tasked with this and speak to them. Repeatedly.
As I said earlier-your salary is safe so try not to panic about that. You are doing amazingly considering what you've got going on. You can do this! A change will be a fresh start, terrifying but fresh smile

BLACKTUESDAY1 Thu 20-Oct-16 12:51:57

Thanks for your help and support, Beryl. I will give myself a rest this week then contact HR to see if I can maybe be offered something else at an earlier stage. I used to love my job and did it very well. Feel so unappreciated nowsad

Lolimax Thu 20-Oct-16 12:57:05

Black I'm in a similar situation to yourself. I've had an awful time in work recently and I knew I wasn't coping. Everything came to a head yesterday and today so I did what I should have done about a month ago and I went to the Drs. He was fab, put me (back) on AD's and signed me off for 2 weeks. I need to be well to cope, I won't cope til I'm well.
Good luck.

BLACKTUESDAY1 Fri 21-Oct-16 10:17:07

I really hope things improve for you Lolimax. I have just returned from GP. She has sogned me off for 2 weeks which is a huge relief for now. She has made me an apt to go backwhen it runs out but has marked on the sick note that she doesn't need to assess me again. I think she crossed out the wrong bit but hopefully that wont cause any probs. I've sent the note today and emailed my manager. It feels good to have some breathing space doesn't it? I was offered medication but going to see how I get on over the next fortnight as I've never taken anything like that before so not sure if it would help me.

Lolimax Fri 21-Oct-16 10:37:12

Well done Black. I hope you start to feel better soon. I'm having an awful morning (guilt?) but I suppose that's normal. I'm just so tired of fighting.

BLACKTUESDAY1 Fri 21-Oct-16 10:56:38

I am so sorry to hear that. I feel like a fraud and that I should just 'get on with it' but it's too hard at the mo. Also feel guilty for my colleagues. As the gp said to me this morn be kind to yourself..lots of rest. Hope you feel better soonxx

AnxiousCarer Fri 21-Oct-16 20:26:41


Glad your GP has been helpful. I've been through this process a few years ago and its so horrible. I don't think they are likely to let you pick off the redeployment list before the interviews as this would be incredibly unfair on others who would potentialy suit the posts. It would turn into a first come first served process rather than allocating posts on merit from the interviews, and people would end up having to interview for the posts left that no one else wants. Focus on looking after yourself, theres no shame in antidepressants if you need them, they have got me through some tough patches. Look into if your work offer councelling to as this may be helpful. Its a rubish position to be in, but you will get through it.

BLACKTUESDAY1 Mon 24-Oct-16 09:04:04

Thanks anxious. I thought the same about the redeployment list but at this stage I just want to move to another department. Instead of doing that I will have to go through the whole interview process for the job in our office that I just don't want first. I am feeling incredibly guilty at being off now as I know my colleagues will have to pick up my massive workload. That is what is so ridiculous....we can't even manage to keep up to date with the staff we have and they are planning a 50% is truly ridiculous!

AnxiousCarer Mon 24-Oct-16 15:49:30

When we had our restructure when it came to applying we didn't have to apply for our own jobs though most people did some applied for jobs in other teams straight away. We couldapply for any job in the organisation that we were qualified for and we were given a list and person spec of all the jobs they were Iinterviewing for. Some people did use it as an opportunity to change.

BLACKTUESDAY1 Tue 25-Oct-16 08:53:15

I wish that were the case with us. We have already been given interview dates for the jobs in our department. Those deemed unsuccessful will then have an 'aspirational meeting' to discuss suitable vacancies.....all the time this is going on we are expected to continue working in our dept which is horrendously busy. I would be okay if I could skip all that bit and just start somewhere else! I also am starting to feel that I've done myself no favours by being off with stress but I really couldn't face going insad

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