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MNHQ have commented on this thread

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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

MNHQ have commented on this thread

Mental health

If I killed myself, would my family be responsible for my debts?

77 replies

BarelyKeepingItTogether · 19/10/2016 22:06

Yes, I know I could google this but the idea of doing so makes me really panicky.

I am not in a good place. I am a depressive, alcoholic with a fuck load of debts. I think I am about to lose my house. I haven't been into work since last week. Emailed my boss on Monday saying I was sick. Haven't been in touch yesterday or today.

I can't DO this. I can't be a proper functioning person. I never could.

I want to end it all. I know it would devastate my parents and adult daughter but, honestly, I think they would be better off if I didn't exist any more. I've lied to them so much over the last couple of years.

But the debt thing scares me. I owe so much money. If I were dead, would my parents be liable for my debts?

OP posts:

Report

yesterdaysunshine · 19/10/2016 22:07

Oh sweetheart sod the debts, you could throw a million pounds on the fire and it wouldn't come close to your worth.

We have ALL fucked up. I am sure the house thing is sortable though I know how scary it all is.

Before doing anything hasty please call Samaritans 116123 xx

Arfarfanarf · 19/10/2016 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Makemineacabsauv · 19/10/2016 22:09

I don't know but please speak to someone in real life if you can and get some help. Everything can get sorted. Can you phone a helpline like Samaritans? Or your parents? It's seriously not worth losing your life over, debts can be managed and life can and will get better with help.

Mel0Drama · 19/10/2016 22:10

Your family care about you, not money.

olderthanyouthink · 19/10/2016 22:10

I've no idea and not sure if I'm going to be helpful here, but didn't want to read and leave.

You're parents and daughter would not better off without you, no ifs, no buts.

Mel0Drama · 19/10/2016 22:11

Get in touch with your employers and say you are going sick with severe depression.

serialtester · 19/10/2016 22:12

No, but they'd feel responsible for your death forever. Please talk to the Samaritans tonight, you poor thing. And please check in and let us know how you're doing. Hugs to you.

theclick · 19/10/2016 22:12

Please think about your family - you deserve to be with them and they with you. Call Samaritans and please don't do anything. Keep talking to us

Mel0Drama · 19/10/2016 22:14

I'm he're for 20 mins or so can I help with anything? I've been suicidal too x

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 19/10/2016 22:14

When you're in a dark place it's hard to think logically... but all you need to know is that your life is worth more than any amount of money, your family think that too. Everything else can be rectified, losing you can't xx

Onedayinthesun · 19/10/2016 22:15

Please ring the Samaritans x

If I killed myself, would my family be responsible for my debts?

SavoyCabbage · 19/10/2016 22:19

I know it would devastate my parents and adult daughter but, honestly, I think they would be better off if I didn't exist any more.

Come on now, that's not the case. People are what matter the most. More than houses or jobs or lies. Your daughter will not be better off without you. You say yourself she would be devastated.

Monkeyface26 · 19/10/2016 22:20

Your parents' lives would be forever affected by your suicide. Please don't break their hearts. Please take the previous posters' advice & speak to the Samaritans. Have you considered bankruptcy? It could help relieve the pressure while you seek further support. Citizens Advice or moneyadviceservice.org.uk could probably advise. Be frank with them about how desperate you are feeling. You have reached out to MN, keep going, reach out a bit further. Please, please.

SirChenjin · 19/10/2016 22:20

No they wouldn't be liable but they would be left devastated without a mum and daughter and they would wish so much that you had spoken to them and let them help you.

You don't have to sort everything today or even in the next week or month, but gradually, gradually you can get back on your feet with the right help and support. The Samaritans are avaliable now to get you started on that path - please, please give them a call.

80schild · 19/10/2016 22:22

The answer is yes they are liable for your debts. If you have lied to them as much as you say you have how about being honest and telling your family what is happening. You need to be honest with them or you will lose them. I hope you get the help you need.

BarelyKeepingItTogether · 19/10/2016 22:23

Honestly, if my my parents knew the truth about how much I've lied to them and posted on here, you would tell them to go No Contact with me. I spoke to my mum this morning, Told her I caught the flu from my daughter (I haven't) and that I'm working from home (I'm not). I have told much worse lies. I'm not dealing with things. I'm just saying whatever I need to say to get through the day.

OP posts:

Meadows76 · 19/10/2016 22:24

Please talk to someone sweetie. Your are worth more than this. Debts CAN be managed. There are many debt charities etc that can help you, but for now you need to focus on yourself. Call the samaritans. Please x

Meadows76 · 19/10/2016 22:25

the answer is yes they are liable for your debts. THIS IS NOT TRUE.

Meadows76 · 19/10/2016 22:26

It doesn't matter if you have lied, you are struggling and you need some help. Please call someone and find this help. The debts, lies and everything else ARE fixable x

herewego1987 · 19/10/2016 22:29

I feel like you are me. I'm so so scared, its made me Ill I just want to drink the moment I wake as debts are getting me down. I feel like a vile waste of space.

Haffdonga · 19/10/2016 22:30

While they wouldn't be liable, any debts would be paid out of your 'estate' so effectively if you have any value left in your house that would go to your debtors rather than your family.

If you want to do do one thing for your family, please get some help.

Mel0Drama · 19/10/2016 22:30

I've got to go to bed now, but I'm sure I'm not the only person that cares about you!

Winniethepooer · 19/10/2016 22:31

My step dad killed himself 24 years ago.
He was an alcoholic & in debt.

My mum never got over it. He might as well of hung her as well, that night.

Seriously? Get to your GP. Get signed off work. Start treatment for your alcoholism. Contact people/companies thst you owe money to.

If not for yourself, for your daughter & parents.

SirChenjin · 19/10/2016 22:33

Your parents would much rather deal with the lies with you here and getting back on your feet than dealing with the unbearable grief of losing a child as a result of suicide. Nothing is insurmountable if you approach it one small piece at a time - like a jigsaw slowly coming together.

foodiefil · 19/10/2016 22:33

If you can't talk to your family talk to a stranger but you need to own up to your problems then start tackling them. It's not the end. If you have family who care and you're still holding down a job you're doing ok! So so sorry you're feeling like this. You do have a future. Talk to your boss, GP, the Samaritans. It can be OK!

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