Don't know where to start

[Ineedabreak2016]

I don't really know if this is the right place to post but I am after some advice really. I have been having an awful time this year and its starting to make me feel so sad and anxious. I've had to deal with so many things in a short space of time and I feel like I am sinking. I am usually such a happy and positive person and I don't recognise the person I have become.

I had a tumor removed earlier on in the year with an horrendous wait to find out if it was cancerous (luckily it wasn't).
Whilst still recovering from my operation I had to have 2 wisdom teeth out.
A couple of months later my little boy was rushed to intensive care. I honestly thought I was going to lose him.
Whilst I was staying with him in hosital (he is only a toddler) I suffered a miscarriage. I was 13 weeks.
A few weeks after this the house we were due to buy was pulled off the market right before contract exchange.
Then my Grandfather whom I am very close with passed away a couple of weeks ago. He wasn't poorly so it was very unexpected.

I feel like I am waiting for the next thing to happen. I dont know where to begin to process my feelings on things because something else has happened before I can come to terms with it. I just feel panicked and scared. A feeling of doom almost and its not normally how I am. Does anyone have any advice? We have a Bupa counselling serivce provided through work but I don't know where to start. I would just cry the whole time and struggle to get anything meaningful out.

Thanks for reading.

[MagicChanges]

WOW - you've absolutely been through the mill - and SO much trauma and loss. You don't talk about feeling depressed (though mention being sad and anxious) but it would be surprising if you weren't suffering from depression and anxiety (the 2 usually go hand in hand) after all you've been through.

I think your first port of call should be the GP. Write down a list (bullet points) of how you are feeling - don't miss anything out - and use it as an aide memoir or hand it over to the GP. Most us do burst into tears at this point but that doesn't matter - you won't be telling the GP anything he/sh hasn't heard many many times before. Approx one third of all GP consultations are mental health related. They may offer medication (and this can be very effective) or more likely a referral for counselling which is CBT. It's possible you could have PTSD after the trauma with your child and the miscarriage.

Given that you can access therapy via BUPA I honestly think you should - it doesn't matter if you cry - I've cried through entire sessions with therapists - it's very common. You've had an awful lot to cope with and you do need to process it, but it's not going to happen quickly, or in a linear fashion - maybe 2 steps forwards and 3 steps back.

Try to take care of yourself - you know, healthy eating, good sleep, walks in fresh air etc.

[AnxiousCarer]

Poor you, you've had such a tough time. I agree with PP, I'm suffering PTSDfrom my husbands illness, which presents as anxiety and pannic attacks for me. Its like my heads got stuck and theres a video of the traumatic event playing over and over in my head.

Definately a good idea to speak to your GP and if theres councelling through work, I'd highly reccommend it, it will be much quicker than NHS and likely you will have as many sessions as you need without a cut off. I've had councelling quite a few times in the past and found it very helpful, I'm currently seeing someone through work myself. It doesn't matter is you cry through yourvsessions, its very common and sometimes its what we need.