DH admits he is depressed but refuses to go to the GP

[peppajay]

My DH has found parenting difficult since the beginning really and to cut a long story short 10 yrs on it is getting worse and worse. He refuses to have anything to do with the kids and I have suspected for a long time that he is depressed. He has finally admitted that he thinks he is suffering from depression and the depression is caused by the pressures of being a dad. I also think he is autistic as it is the choas and noise that comes with parenting that he cant hack. These feelings of anger and hatred disappear when he is on his own and at work as he is away from us. My son is autistic so he is hard work so family life is quite difficult and I do everything. He now has to have the kids in bed before he comes home from work as he cant cope with the excitement of 'daddys home'. However he refuses point blank to go to the doctor or seek help. He has finally admitted to these feelings but won't do anything about it. I wish I could help him as life at home at the moment is horrible but he wants nothing to do with his own children and refuses to do anything about his depression. The only cure he says is for me to keep the children away from him. This is the only way he can cope. Where do we go from here??

[AnxiousCarer]

Wow, that sounds tough. You can't force him to see his GP. The current situation of living together and keeping the kids away from him doesn't sound sustainable, or healthy for you or the kids.

Can you speak to him about the effect his depression is having on you and the kids. When my DH is wrapped up in his own MH problems I have to be pretty forceful for him to understand my own needs.

If you are struggling yourself it may be worth seeing your GP for your own health too as it sounds like a very stressful situation. Is there any support available to help you with your son?