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So tired of everything- feeling suicidal

(6 Posts)
user1472582572 Tue 27-Sep-16 07:34:08

I just can't take anymore. If it wasn't for DS, I'd hang myself right now. There's only so much one person can take: people keep on treating me like s**t and I've not done anything to deserve it. The biological father of DS was someone I was seeing who then turned on me when I found out I was pregnant: a friend then discovered he was married and had been lying to me about his whole life all along. All his numbers stopped working and despite promising to contribute financially, he hasn't done so. I was made homeless by a rogue landlord while pregnant and ended up moving 7 times. People keep on messing me around, saying one thing and then completely changing their minds and not sticking to their word. I keep on having to deal with antisocial neighbours who seem to not want to let me live in peace. I was bullied at school and at university which led to me dropping out and ending up with such severe anxiety & depression that I find it difficult to go out in public. I'm living in a property that was left in a horrible condition by the previous tenant with animal faeces left everywhere: I've tried improving it but I don't have the money or resources to bring it to a good enough standard. I don't have any family or friends who are completely reliable or understanding of my mental health & everything I've suffered. I've tried getting out to baby groups & classes but no one really bothers to get to know me and I'm tired of awkward situations. I'm tired of always having to instigate things with people and having the effort I make being thrown back in my face. There's no point trying to make things better anymore.

PurpleDaisies Tue 27-Sep-16 07:41:39

So sorry you're feeling like this. Your GP surgery will be opening soon-try and get an appointment to see someone. If you tell the receptionist how you're feeling they should fit you in. You need to talk to a professional in real life. You don't have to keep feeling like this.

BubbaLazaroo Tue 27-Sep-16 07:45:49

Please don't face this alone. There are services available to help you, even more so because you have a young son to take care of as well as yourself (and you must take care of yourself).
Please speak to your Health Visitor or GP. Or you could contact the Samaritans, Mind or your local citizens advice.
I wish I could offer you more than this. I've had post-natal anxiety twice and would not have pulled through without my support network so it must seem impossible for you to go it alone.
I hope someone else comes along with even better advice!
Take care.

Superstar90 Tue 27-Sep-16 07:46:02

im sorry you are feeling like this. Your DS needs you. You can feel better again. Please see your gp or ring the samaritans. You've been through an awful time and now have the stress of a young child to care for. Please don't give up on yourself flowers

user1472582572 Tue 27-Sep-16 08:07:53

I've already contacted Citizen's Advice Bureau and Mind. Both organisations didn't offer me any real help: I actually seemed to know more about things than they did despite it being their jobs. All these organisations do is refer you into the next one, so that in the end you're being pushed from pillar to post with nothing being done and your mental health deteriorating even further.

Superstar90 Wed 28-Sep-16 06:41:59

Sorry to hear that. Do keep trying. Try your gp and the Samaritans - think they can offer more direct support if you explain how you are feeling.

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