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some one needs help but worried about stigma of mental health

(14 Posts)
user1467297746 Sat 24-Sep-16 21:16:47

there is some one I care about who has been displaying some worrying symptoms..

I think might be suicidal. has been insomniac for quite some time - and seems to have trouble controlling emotions - quite impulsive sometimes. and then was quite withdrawn.

I know they experienced some childhood trauma. bullying and sexual abuse. a complicated childhood - witnessed domestic violence for quite some time and the transition to adulthood marred by a family murder -

I want them to get some help but they have refused - worried about the effects of stigma on career/jobs etc..

Would a private doctor be an answer to this..

How can I help them?

Wolfiefan Sat 24-Sep-16 21:20:18

It depends what their career is as to whether they would need to disclose it. The symptoms you describe would probably stop them progressing in most careers without help.
I have had anxiety and depression. I needed treatment. I couldn't have managed without it.

ChoccyJules Sat 24-Sep-16 21:28:32

Not sure how seeing a private doctor differs from a GP in terms of how accessing treatment affects a job. They may be offered counselling, medication or advised to take time off work (which is presumably the only way work would know about it). Depends on the person's individual situation. Plus there is probably a way a doctor can write a fit-note so that they don't worry about the reaction of their boss.
The main thing is for them to ask for help, talk about it and be kind to themselves, whatever the trigger it is an illness (can sometimes be described as a chemical imbalance) and nothing to be ashamed of.
I am not a doctor but someone close has had MH problems, so that's what I'm drawing on in my answer.
In terms of how you can help them, I would say be accepting and supportive and not shocked.

user1467297746 Sat 24-Sep-16 21:33:06

i'm not shocked.

I agree it could affect their career if they are reacting inappropriately for instance - disproportionate anger perhaps?

I guess NHS records are more open to public scrutiny? where as a private one may be more discrete. If for instance they were to apply for a job?

looking for ways to convince them to seek help.

Wolfiefan Sat 24-Sep-16 21:37:12

I don't know. Could CAB advise! My understanding is that you may be asked to declare certain medical details or give permission for medical history to be shared. But it really may depend on the sort of job. A pilot compared to a call centre worker eg. Does that make sense?
I'm NO expert though.

AnxiousCarer Sat 24-Sep-16 21:39:33

Any discussion with health professionals is confidential and unless there was a reason that the health problems would be putting others in danger. It would be your friends choice if to disclose the issues at work. The disability discrimination act covers mental health conditions.

Your friend may find their work more understanding than they expect. Both my own and my husbands occupational health departments have been very supportive of our mental health needs.

Ultimately if they do not seek help are these problems themselves going to inteferer with their work and career anyway?

I would reccommend them speaking to their GP.

Also mental health problems are very common, I have many collegues who suffer from depression and anxiety, I also have colegues with OCD and Bipolar My DH suffers episodes of psychosis but mostly works full time. A lot of employers will already have experience of supporting staff with mh problems.

dangermouseisace Sat 24-Sep-16 21:56:53

usually NHS are quite discrete. The only problem is if that person is a doctor themselves- then colleagues shouldn't look at records but who knows?

user1467297746 Sat 24-Sep-16 22:03:40

yes their partner does work in NHS. so conceivable that they are worried that colleagues may see the records?

Are doctors required to put all of it online?

I think they also have health insurance thru employer? perhaps worried about that loop?

Wolfiefan Sat 24-Sep-16 22:05:05

Are their worries actually real though or part of the illness? Medical records are private. Why would colleagues look them up? And online doesn't mean public.

ChoccyJules Sat 24-Sep-16 22:21:01

Sorry, I didn't think you would be shocked, I meant it more that the person who is struggling needs to know it's not any different to you than any other illness.
If NHS staff look up their own or a relative's notes it can be a sackable offence. Everyone I know is really strict on this, ie friends won't even look something up for friends in case it is tracked back to them. So hopefully that isn't a big worry.

Nearlyhadenough Sun 25-Sep-16 08:46:40

Is there a worry over future jobs?

I know that I had to agree that my employer could contact my doctor fir my health details if they wanted to. If you train to be a nurse or a social worker you have to have a health interview - there are probably more careers the same.

AnxiousCarer Sun 25-Sep-16 22:40:10

I work in the NHS I had to have a Dr write a letter to my registrating body to confirm I was sound of body and mind in order to practice. I was suffering depression at the time but it didn't cause any problems. Dr didn't mention it.

user1467297746 Mon 26-Sep-16 23:02:04

thanks for the replies. friend is adamant that this company ( not NHS or Doctor or airline ) tests for "mind altering" drugs - and worries about accident report when they would require medical history?!

Also worries that you have to declare this on future applications for jobs

AnxiousCarer Mon 26-Sep-16 23:35:06

It may be useful for your friend to discuss medications and their effects. Some can make you drowsy particularly in the early days, but a lot you can still drive on. I drive on my antidepressants and my husband does on antidepressants and antipsychotics. You can check out the drugs you can't drive on on DVLA website. A lot will reccommend that you find out how they affect you before opperating heavy machinary too.

It would be his decision to disclose or not on job applications. If he didn't he could fall foul of rules regarding future sick leave for the same problem. On the flip side if he choses to declare his has legal protection under the disability discrimination act.

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