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To be wanting some confirmation of reality?

(144 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Greendress123 Mon 19-Sep-16 01:55:23

I know I get psychosis and paranoia. I'm on a pile of meds. But tonight I'm really struggling with thoughts of nanobots in my brain controlling my thoughts. I know it's not true but I also think it might be true. It's definitely possible, I read an article about it in New Scientist.

Anyway, is anyone up to help me work it out?

Greendress123 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:01:09

I'm a name changer who also somehow has two accounts for some reason.

Broken1Girl Mon 19-Sep-16 02:01:52

Oh love. flowers
It's not possible. The article in the new Scientist will be speculation, not something that's happening now. And they couldn't do that without your consent anyway.
Do you have an appointment with a mental health worker etc? Can you call someone in the morning?
In the meantime I'm up for a while yet, as I'm sure others will be.

UltimateFrisbee Mon 19-Sep-16 02:04:41

Hi greendress- sorry to hear you are struggling. It's not true or possible that nanobots are controlling your mind right now. I work in the field of neuroscience if that lends any weight to my statement.

Greendress123 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:05:35

I kind of know it's not true, but I also keep thinking that maybe it is.

I'm booked to see my cpn next week. She (well her and the psychiatrist) has just increased my anti depressant with the aim to increase my anti psychotic too in a couple of weeks, which could explain me being up so late.

I just can't shake the idea that messing with my meds might activate the nanobots.

albertcampionscat Mon 19-Sep-16 02:06:58

I'm up. Short answer: No, you don't.
Medium answer: Even supposing it were theoretically possible, we're a long way off being able to do it in practice and anyway why would they choose you rather than Obama? Longer answer: this isn't something you can work out by talking to strangers on the internet. - what kind of support do you have in real life?

Greendress123 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:07:21

The principle behind the nanobots was that they could be activated by certain patterns of brainwaves. They had managed to get drugs to activate in cock roaches by someone doing hard sums - am I making sense?

Greendress123 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:11:23

I have loads of support in real life but I'm always worried to tell them this stuff because it's either too ridiculous (when I'm well) or too real. It's rare I'm in between like this. Also I worry that the nanobots will tell me to hurt someone but if I tell them I'm having those thoughts I'll end up back in hospital which is horrible, or back sectioned in a police cell, which is worse.

Greendress123 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:19:38

Bipolar disorder is a dickhead.

sallysparrow157 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:21:14

No, that doesn't make sense. Even if there were nanobots, and even if they had chosen you rather than anyone else, brainwaves don't work like that. But I think you're in that horrible situation of part of you thinking 'of course this isn't true' and another part of you thinking 'FFS, it is true and it's a bit bloody scary and can I trust anyone to tell the truth??' Is there anyone either with you or who you can phone up to have a chat with? Start with things you know are definitely real and then chat through the things you're a bit dubious about, it will help, I promise. A friend of mine used to be on some medication and when his dose was wrong he often felt like this so we would talk through 'definitely real, definitely not real and possibly real so let's talk it through a bit more' on a regular basis.

Greendress123 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:24:11

There's nobody I can talk to at this time of night without waking up the kids or my parents (I live with them for support).

I've been looking up all the legal advice about being sectioned in case it happens again. I'm worried that would activate them but at least I couldn't hurt anyone in hospital or in a cell.

sallysparrow157 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:26:36

Have a chat with a real life person. Seriously, talk it through. I think you're a little bit unwell at the minute but if you have a chat with someone now and rationalise your thoughts you can nip it in the bud, it might just be a 2 am feeling odd thing and having a chat will make you feel much more grounded.

Greendress123 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:29:12

I could call my boyfriend but I'm too scared to talk out loud.

sallysparrow157 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:30:00

Have you got a crisis team you can ring for a chat? Being sectioned is a big step and you may well be able to get to a point where you feel much safer without being sectioned if you speak to someone sooner rather than later

sallysparrow157 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:31:56

Can you text him? Text and say you need a bit of reassurance and you just want him to say 'real' or 'not real'. Then you don't need to speak at all, you get reassurance from someone you trust and he knows you are feeling a bit unsettled at the minute x

Greendress123 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:32:42

I don't want my mum to know I'm having these thoughts though as it will worry her whether or not they are true, because she will think it's psychosis no matter what.

Greendress123 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:33:27

I'll Facebook message him. I feel guilty waking him up though.

sallysparrow157 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:36:21

Mums always worry, don't they? If you don't want to talk all the scary uncertain stuff through with her, how about just a normal day to day chat with her? That can help you to hold onto what is real and normal and everyday

Greendress123 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:37:30

She wants to go paint shopping tomorrow (boring) but I could go and speak to her then.

sallysparrow157 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:39:36

He's your boyfriend, he loves you and cares about you, he'd want to be there for you just like you'd be for him if he needed you. (I've been woken up at 3am to be asked if geese can really speak and if so why are they being such arseholes??! And I wasn't pissed off or anything, was just glad I could help!)

sallysparrow157 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:42:04

Good plan. Paint shopping is ideal for reassuring conversations, tedious enough that you know it is definitely real, distracting enough for your mum that she will be too busy trying to decide between 'biscuit' and 'pale baige' to worry too much but plenty of time for a decent chat.

Greendress123 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:45:14

I've Facebook messaged him but he's not seen it so he must be asleep

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Mon 19-Sep-16 02:45:36

OP I'm bipolar too.

Nanobots ARE NOT REAL and I promise YOU DO NOT HAVE THEM.

<lots of hand holding>

Please talk to your boyfriend or your mum.


Greendress123 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:49:35

I don't want to wake anyone up. I'm not in any immediate danger unless they activate, but they won't because they aren't real.

sallysparrow157 Mon 19-Sep-16 02:49:41

Do you think you could get some sleep yet? Busy day of paint shopping awaits! I've got the audible app on my phone, plays audio books but with a sleep timer so when I need to sleep but have lots of annoying thoughts in my head, I set it to play for 15 or 30 mins - nice bedtime story to listen to to take my mind off things!

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