I think I'm done with life now

[user1473509591]

Sorry for the melodramaticness of this post but I'm just so tired. Im tired of being stuck in this never ending circle of feeling guilty of how I feel, of not being able to change my life, of my unsympathetic oh who is too selfish to even try to understand, of hating being a mum, of working so damn hard for absolutely no return. I work, eat, barely sleep and keep this house going and that's it. That's my life. I'm just so done with it all.

[StillAgainstTheWind]

It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of things without getting much support and help.

Apologies if you've already tried any of this but talking over how you are feeling with your doctor with a view to medication and counselling can really help.

I was in a bad way and I very reluctantly eventually sought counselling and started taking Anti Depressants. Despite my initial reluctance it was one of the best things I ever did. I've felt able to tackle problems and issues which I didn't feel remotely able to do before.

It also helps to break down your concerns into separate issues rather than treating everything as one great insurmountable problem.

Do you want to talk in more detail about how you are feeling?

[user1473509591]

I'm on day 5 of antidepressants. I think everything is heightened at the moment because it's a new medication but my goodness I'm struggling. I have a 5 year history of PND and it feels like whenever I start feeling better, like genuinely better, life comes along and is like 'hahaha, just kidding!' And it's like, how many knocks can I take before I totally explode?

[StillAgainstTheWind]

You won't feel any benefits from the antidepressants yet. Mine took about 10 days before I started feeling any benefit at all and I was initially exhausted on them. It really does help though.

I'm really sorry you've been suffering with PND for a long time. Are there any support groups in your area which could help. If you feel listened to and that people understand it really helps your mindset in feeling able to cope with what life throws at you.

I'm sorry life is being cruel to you at the moment. It is bloody hard at times and it can feel too much when it's constantly one thing after another.

If your OH is unsupportive do you have other RL support, parents, siblings, friends? It really does help if you have that.

[nellypledge16]

It can take 2 weeks to feel any benefit from AD and they can actually make you feel worse before they make you feel better.
Hang in there, once they start to work you will feel better. I take escitalopram and they help me feel like myself and help me cope with the trials and tribulations of my life.
Hope you start to feel better soon x

[Sugarpiehoneyeye]

Hi OP, really sorry to hear you're feeling so low. What you've got to remember is, strange thoughts fill a tired mind, and, there's always tomorrow. These sayings helped get me through, that's why I'm sharing them with you.
You haven't been on your medication long enough, for it to take maximum effect. Indeed, later on down the line, you may have to change them.
I understand that you are tired, have no energy, and life is a never ending battle, but like the weather, this can so easily change.
You're a Mum, such a privilege, you are immensley important.
As for your other half, lose him, things may rapidly improve.
I hope you keep on returning to this thread, I really do, you will benefit greatly.
Nobody worth their weight, is going to knock you, when you're down.
Keep on taking the pills, and let us guide you.
Now that you have shared, things can only get better 💐💐💐

[peachypips]

Hello. So sorry you are suffering. The antidepressants will start working in two weeks and reach their full efficacy in 6 weeks. You will then start to feel so much better. I will be thinking of you; I know how it feels to be unwell for a long time.

[Elsasalterego]

Hugs. If you can, once kids are in bed, lie down, close your eyes and just breathe. Concentrate on nothing but your breathing. Take big, slow breaths and just lie there, let your body relax but just keep on concentrating on what your body is doing, breathing in and out, slowly slowly. Think of nothing but that. If you have 5 years history of PND I am guessing you have a 5 year old, and man, that's hard. It will stop being so hard. You will stop feeling so tired. You will stop feeling so unappreciated. Because the children will be able to start to help, and because you're undoubtedly a lovely mum, they will start to do it of their own accord, because they know it helps. But if they are young they haven't reached the emotional maturity yet. Be patient, it will come eventually.

[Elsasalterego]

Hugs. If you can, once kids are in bed, lie down, close your eyes and just breathe. Concentrate on nothing but your breathing. Take big, slow breaths and just lie there, let your body relax but just keep on concentrating on what your body is doing, breathing in and out, slowly slowly. Think of nothing but that. If you have 5 years history of PND I am guessing you have a 5 year old, and man, that's hard. It will stop being so hard. You will stop feeling so tired. You will stop feeling so unappreciated. Because the children will be able to start to help, and because you're undoubtedly a lovely mum, they will start to do it of their own accord, because they know it helps. But if they are young they haven't reached the emotional maturity yet. Be patient, it will come eventually.

[user1473509591]

Thankyou everyone for your kind words. I feel so underappreciated, I feel like I need to do something drastic to make my family 'see me' and take notice that I'm being serious, and that I need some help here, because I can't do it all on my own. I'm hoping that once I start my degree next month I'll have something positive to focus my mind on, something for myself x