Feeling unclean

[SpaceTheFinalFrontier]

This has taken a lot to post this thread, and I have NC'd. I am not sure where to start but I will give it a try.

Firstly, my background is in animal care. I have worked with all sorts of animals, in a range of places. Farms, kennels, woodland, zoos, shelters..everything. I spent most of my 20's doing this sort of work and I absolutely loved it. I used to dream of settling down in a country house with horses and a couple of dogs, just as I had grown up with.

Now to my problem -
Over the last few months I have been having feelings of stress around dirt, hair, and dust. Particularly around dogs. I must have had a complete personality transplant at some point, because I can't stand them anymore. I feel so dirty and smelly any time a dog brushes past me or licks my hand. I just can't handle it anymore and it makes me feel physically sick.

My close friend owns a couple of dogs and I have often taken them for walks, or for overnight stays whenever she is away. I can't do it anymore. The hair, the smell, the sound of licking, is making me feel dirty and sick. They are no trouble at all..very easy going, calm dogs...but I can't help these feelings. I have showered twice today already but I will be going for another shower tonight because I can still feel dirt on myself. All it took was for one of the dogs to lick my hand. I never feel clean anymore, no matter how hard I scrub myself. I see dust everywhere I go and I fixate on it. If I could, I would rip out every carpet in this house and scrub everything with Dettol.

What on earth is happening?

[ArriettyMatilda]

I don't know personally but do think it might help you to go to the gp and tell them exactly what you have said here.

[bellend123]

It sounds like OCD, I would go and see your doctor. I have OCD and one of the things that started off for me was a fear of pet hair and dirt. Don't let it spiral out of control, seek some help now. Take care