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Is this anxiety or just a simple decision?

(7 Posts)
Bunny198 Thu 08-Sep-16 18:47:26

My friend's invited me to a mum's night out on Saturday, it's her friend's 40th birthday who I've only met once, and out of everyone else going there's only one other person I've met before, aside from my friend I don't really "know" anyone going. It's at a place that I used to go to as a teenager, it's a cheesy club and there's a male strip act, on the Facebook messages everyone is talking about the men, discussing how they plan to get v drunk and booking cabs home at 1 or 2 in the morning.

It was really kind of my friend to invite me but it's really not my kind of night out, especially with people I don't know who are a group of friends already. I did that in my teens and twenties, I know I'm probably a bit boring now and like going for dinner somewhere or drinks at a pub then home at 11, all v tame in my mid 30's now and I love being curled up at home on the sofa with dh, takeaway & wine and the occasional relaxed night out with friends.

I can't decide whether to go or not, I don't really want to, but I don't want my anxiety to stop me from doing things. Or could it simply be that it's not my kind of night out and it's ok to just not go? Part of me wants to force myself to go just to fit in and be liked by this group and be included. Then I think that's also an anxiety issue for me, seeking approval and wanting everyone to like me, so maybe I should stick two fingers up at that anxiety and the fear of missing out.

So, just be myself and do what I enjoy doing? Or push myself outside of my comfort zone? 🤔

AnxiousCarer Thu 08-Sep-16 23:05:49

If it's not your cup of tea don't go, sounds bloody awful to me! Like you I'd rather be curled up on the sofa.

Olddear Fri 09-Sep-16 19:36:15

Admittedly, I am older than you OP, but quite honestly even 25 years ago that kind of night out would have been my idea of torture! And I don't suffer from anxiety! Don't go if you don't want to. Thank her very much for her kind invitation but you can't manage to make it.

Floggingmolly Fri 09-Sep-16 19:39:22

Definitely mot down to anxiety; it sounds Godawful!

Floggingmolly Fri 09-Sep-16 19:39:46


gottachangethename1 Fri 09-Sep-16 19:52:43

My idea of torture too. As others have said a simple thanks, I won't be coming but perhaps we could meet up for a drink or a bite to eat sometime soon?

Bunny198 Sun 11-Sep-16 16:57:50

Thanks for the replies, I didn't go in the end and don't regret it, judging by the photos it was pretty wild and not my cup of tea, I would've hated it and regretted going all because of anxiety over being included / accepted / liked, feel like I've been true to myself for once! Thank you x

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