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Am I the one who needs help?

(5 Posts)
croakingfrog Mon 29-Aug-16 16:23:10

Feeling so low. Uncharacteristic for me but feel I might be the one causing all the problems.

In the last year or so dd self harms, cutting and poisoning, on ads and now diagnosed with adhd and on Ritalin too. She's also gay.

DS and I have escalating arguments and I don't really know how they happen but feel he goads me. He and I have short fuses but he seems so ungrateful and constantly throws in my face the family wealth and how his father and I have "no idea".

DH is stressed, a workaholic, and nothing is good enough. Aspirations of the children, my appearance, state of the house. He hankers after his perfect family home (it was totally dysfunctional).

Just back from holiday. Didn't sleep night before last. No motivation today. So low. Would like to cry and/or leave but can't.

But the common denominator in this misery is me. And I have tried so hard.

Work tomorrow but really I just want to run away and not come back. Feel on the edge and so miserable. Not sure if they have problems or I'm the cause of it all.

KatEmThe Mon 29-Aug-16 21:27:39

Hi croakingfrog

I'm not at all good at advise but I just want to say that I'm sure your not the cause of anything. Keep going, I'm sure things will get better. It looks like you have a lot on your plate at the minute.

Is this a first (you feeling low)?

dangermouseisace Tue 30-Aug-16 18:00:30

woah croakingfrog there is a lot going on there.

I cannot see how you could possible be the common denominator in the misery.

Even if the home environment was perfect your daughter already has things stacked against her, that neither she nor you nor anyone else could prevent, that are very likely to impact on her mental health. She's gay AND she's got ADHD. It's quite hard to get diagnosed with ADHD in this country as opposed to the US. When we're teenagers (assuming she's a teenager) we all want to fit in, and your poor daughter will be struggling.

How supportive is DH? I'm assuming that having a gay, ADHD daughter didn't fit into his plan of a perfect family?

AnxiousCarer Tue 30-Aug-16 18:29:59

I don't think its you that is causing the problems. I do think that you may need some help yourself to deal with all this. Have you discussed how you are feeling with your GP?

croakingfrog Tue 30-Aug-16 22:35:18

Work was great and normal.

Support appreciated. danger we've supported each other before. Different nn for me.

Have started counselling. Mindfulness has been suggested. DD was diagnosed privately. CAMHS closed her case because she didn't meet their thresholds.

Just feel such a failure as a wife and mother.

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