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worrying for my son

(5 Posts)
lazyminimoo Wed 24-Aug-16 02:14:26

I'm not good at writing just i feel sad for my son all the time I worry he is going to end up a loser just like me. he's an only child he's nearly 4 he has no friends . I have social anxiety always been sure of that. so the one friend I do have who haa a little girl near my son age I get to nervous about seeing.Pkus I'm very negative an put excuses for not bothering to try at her anyway as i think I can't force a friendship between him an my friends girl. an i think to make friendsthey need to see that person regularly an she wont go to the same school anyway and they won't become good friends anyway. I was hoping he would make friend at nursery but so far he's not an he plays with the adults really they told my son dosent even care about goin to nursery he has been off for the summery hols and not once mentioned nursery . when i ask if he wants to go back he sometimes says yes but then no. he won't say why not. he is really small for his age and is going to be a small adult to 5 ' 3 the doctor said. I worru he will get bullied at school and I'll have to home school him but then btw wold not be seeing children . some kids areb so horrible he got hit at the park by a older boy told him to d off.lucky my son didn't b seem to be upset but shouldn't he of been upset. I'm basically so sad for his future as i feel its not going to be good. he has my genes so he could end up just like me. he dosent say he's bored or wants friends yet but that just seems abnormal. can he talk be ok without friends yet . I don't know I should have tried to go to playgroup more but i hated it . I only want him to be ok in life I never wanted a child tbh and have been very selfish me me me but now i am thinking of him an i just want him to be happy that's all I want now i just want him to be happy

lazyminimoo Wed 24-Aug-16 02:22:53

sorry for the bad writing mistakes i dont know how to edit it now

crunched Wed 24-Aug-16 02:28:23

At 3 years old my DS tended to play alongside other children rather than interact with them and tbh I think that is quite typical.
Toddler groups are not for everyone so don't feel guilty about not going along more.
Focusing on future worries like being below average height, having to make decisions about schooling etc can be put aside for the moment. Try and make the most of the fact that he enjoys being together with you.
I'm sure MN posters will give you expert advice which I don't have but in the meantime 💐

heyday Wed 24-Aug-16 03:00:58

Your little one is still so young yet and there is every hope that he will make friends once he is at school. I think the real problem here is your own anxiety and possible depression. He will pick up on your anxiety and this could make him an anxious little boy. I speak from experience, believe me. It might be a good idea to speak with your doctor to see if you could benefit from some therapy and or medication. The best chance your DC has of being happy is if you are happy so please try and see if you can get some support in trying to achieve that aim. You obviously love and care for him and that is the best foundation any child can have.

dangermouseisace Wed 24-Aug-16 09:08:53

Lazy don't worry your son is perfectly normal. Boys (generalisation here) don't tend to do the 'friends' thing until later than girls. My son was like yours- just not bothered about it! Of course, I worried he was autistic. He isn't, turns out he was, and is completely normal. My son didn't have any friends as such until probably 5…so kind of end of reception…when he got a little group of playmates and then probably year 1 where he had actual friends. I've got a girl and boys…girls are generally very different- friends are much more important to them at a younger age- I couldn't believe the difference!

As for your son being small I really wouldn't worry about that. There are kids of all sorts of heights at school and from what I see it has no bearing whatsoever on their popularity!

You obviously care deeply for your son. There will be instances when he gets into a bit of bother e.g. that instance at the park, but these are all part of learning how to interact socially. If we never had anything go 'wrong' (in small ways, not horrific ways!) we would never build resilience.

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