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Struggling to leave the house

(12 Posts)
SwishySplash Tue 16-Aug-16 13:38:02

I need to go out today, DS 18 months was stuck inside with me yesterday too. I'm just finding it so hard to leave the house, I feel like everyone is going to stare at me and be judging. The more days I stay at home the harder it gets to leave.

I also have a driving lesson tonight which I'm totally dreading but I need to go get the money out from a cash point. Why can I not do this stupidly simple thing?

lilwelshyrs Tue 16-Aug-16 13:49:49

Have you got a garden you can go into?
Just take it one step at a time.

Why would people be judging you? Sometimes it's hard and lonely being a mum. flowers I find it hard when DH is away a lot. It's scary going out - what if DS has a meltdown etc? Easier to stay in!
But actually once we're out, it's not so bad smile

Can you give yourself little things to aim for, like just chilling in the garden or walking down the end of the block or something?

SwishySplash Tue 16-Aug-16 13:55:41

We do have a garden but unfortunately it's not really suitable for DS, it's all paved, steps and no toys. We do have a football though so he might play with that.

I feel like people will laugh at me for all sorts. My hair, clothes, the way I walk. I just get so paranoid about things. I think if I straighten my hair next that might help. I just want to cry thinking about walking out the door.

ayeokthen Tue 16-Aug-16 13:59:04

I know exactly what you mean. I was really struggling last year and was completely unable to leave the house without DP (a huge strain on him because he works mental hours). Literally I couldn't even go into the garden to put the washing out, I just couldn't step outside. Is there something you HAVE to do, that's what pushed me. I HAD to get the kids to nursery, so I left the house. Have you spoken to your GP? They can offer a lot of support too. flowers

lilwelshyrs Tue 16-Aug-16 13:59:53

Big hugs for you.

People won't laugh at you. They honestly won't. But the only way for you to realise that is to go out of the house and see for yourself. Have you got someone who understands how you're feeling and can come round? Maybe distract you a little and go out for a stroll?

Definitely straighten your hair if that'll make you feel better smile

Playing with a football is a good idea. Is there a grassy patch anywhere nearby? Or a little park?

SwishySplash Tue 16-Aug-16 14:16:36

Thank you everyone smile it's so nice to know I'm not the only one that gets like this. My DP just rang me on his lunch break and just talking to another adult has helped. There's a lovely walk to the shop that I can let DS out of the pushchair because it's not by a road. I'm straightening my hair now, then I can just put my shoes on and go without really thinking about it hopefully.

I do need to talk to the GP today is the first day I've felt physical symptoms of anxiety. It's like I'm about to have a job interview or something really nerve wracking.

lilwelshyrs Tue 16-Aug-16 14:33:06

Glad DP was helpful. Have you got any friends you can call on?

All you're doing right now is straightening your hair and putting on your shoes. That's it smile step by step. And it doesn't matter if that's all you manage, either.
And if you make it to the shop, you should totally have an ice cream or something smile

When's DP back from work?

ayeokthen Tue 16-Aug-16 14:54:35

I agree with the "step by step" lil mentioned, break each task down into manageable bits. Anything that boosts your confidence and makes life easier is great. Glad your DP is supportive, I'd be lost without mine. Above all, go easy on yourself, anxiety is not easy to cope with, you're doing great.

SwishySplash Tue 16-Aug-16 15:16:28

Mission accomplished grin it's taken me since Sunday but I left the house and nobody laughed. I spoiled myself to a big bar of chocolate from the shop. I'm very lucky with DP. Thank you all for the handhold.

lilwelshyrs Tue 16-Aug-16 15:20:02

Whoop! That's awesome! Well done you. And we're all here whenever you need a handhold smile

LaraG13 Tue 16-Aug-16 15:30:23

Well done OP! I've been there too. It's so hard. And you can get into a vicious cycle of beating yourself up for struggling with things you know should be so easy. Be kind to yourself and accept that it's not your fault you are suffering like this, but also remember you can take back control, no matter how much it feels like you can't. Take small steps and reward and praise yourself for the things you achieve, don't dwell on the things you fail at. I also like to imagine that I can see into the future having achieved the task I'm aiming to, and visualise it going well. So next time you want to go to the shop, focus your imagination on it all going perfectly, and how great you'll feel when you get home having done the thing you needed to. This can help to override all the negative imaginings that take over and stop you doing the things you want.

You're doing great!

ayeokthen Tue 16-Aug-16 15:36:55

Well done OP, enjoy your chocolate chocolate

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