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Should I be honest about my mums mental health

(10 Posts)
heretochat555 Tue 16-Aug-16 00:02:14

My mother aged 70 is soon to be moving into a warden controlled retirement flat. My mother has an awful lot of signs of mental health ie talks and shouts to herself, is in her own world a lot, her personal hygiene and house is at a low standard and she gets frustrated over things that everyone else seems to manage with ease. Ie using the remote control, a simple mobile phone. As well as mental health I suspect my mum has a mild form of autism as she's never had an friends or a desire to
And often says things inappropriately to others.
None of these things have been diagnosed as she refuses to speak to the doctor saying she's fine and has nothing wrong.
I'm helping her with the move.
My dilemma is do I tell the retirement flat manager about her suspected mental health or let them witness it after she moves in. I'm so frightened of her being rejected and everyone disliking her moods and strange personality.

gamerchick Tue 16-Aug-16 08:15:37

Tricky, I don't think I would tbh. I was coming on to say always be truthful but reading your post I'm thinking don't volunteer anything, answer if asked type of line.

laurzj82 Tue 16-Aug-16 08:18:48

I wouldn't tell personally. If there's no diagnosis there's nothing to tell iyswim

BeautyGoesToBenidorm Tue 16-Aug-16 08:18:55

Not wishing to alarm you, but this sounds like the early symptoms of dementia, particularly the inappropriate outbursts. I'd mention it to the warden, they'll have seen it before, but could you try and get her to her GP?

spankhurst Tue 16-Aug-16 08:19:16

I would expect that anyone used to working with the elderly won't be shocked by your mum's behaviour.
Has she always been like this? It couldn't be early dementia?

originalmavis Tue 16-Aug-16 08:19:24

It's a retirement facility so I am sure they are used to dealing with residents who are maybe suffering from dementia or the changes to personality that can come with age (my cantankerous grandma turned into Mrs Doubtfire when her dementia came on).

I'm sure they will try to help your mum adjust and find her place there.

heretochat555 Tue 16-Aug-16 09:16:04

Thankyou all. Yes I'm hoping they will be used to coping with difficult behaviour. Her memory is not good so I suspect she may have signs of dementia but I'm also sure she has mental health too as the talking to herself has been around 30 years and it's more arguing than talking!
I worry about her all the time and one of the reasons from my point of view for her moving there is to receive support if needed. I've contacted the doctor and social services before but she's no risk to anyone they say and she refuses to be honest to the doctor.
Yes that's what I'm wondering perhaps I should make a big deal about telling the home manager about her ways. I'm looking forward to her having others to mix with more but I'm very very scared she'll be disliked

heretochat555 Tue 16-Aug-16 09:19:12

I meant perhaps I shouldn't make a big deal about telling the manager about her personality

dangermouseisace Tue 16-Aug-16 09:23:26

she sounds like many people in warden controlled flats! Don't worry, they'll have seen it before, but they will be used to dealing with a whole lot worse, trust me.

heretochat555 Tue 16-Aug-16 22:51:48

Thankyou. 🙂

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