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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Please help. Where can we get help for our son.

(85 Posts)
ihatethecold Mon 15-Aug-16 18:10:37

My son is currently talking to objects in the house like they are real.
He thinks his step mum has had a baby and he will talk to it in the pushchair.
(She is due this week but she clearly hasn't given birth yet)
He lives with her and his dad.
He was a risk suicide until recently and was hospitalised 4 times due to attempts on his life.
He is now on quitiapin and Duloxitine to help stablelise him.
He has a bad cannabis habit that is getting worse.
I also think he's using amphetamine type drugs because he hasn't slept since Friday night.
He was discharged from the crisis team about 6 weeks ago and he only has the GP to help him.
His step mum took him today because of the hallucinations and they said it's not a psychotic episode and to take one of his prescription medications and to sleep.
We don't know where to turn anymore.
We called the crisis team and they said to call the police!

SealSong Mon 15-Aug-16 18:15:49

How old is he? That's relevant to the advice I can give.

PotteringAlong Mon 15-Aug-16 18:18:40

I'd take him to A&E and not leave. I would also be very very wary about him living in a house with a newborn baby if he is unable to sort voices in his head from reality.

PotteringAlong Mon 15-Aug-16 18:19:28

Also, if the crisis team said they can't act unless the police are involved and told you to call the police, have you followed that advice and called them?

SealSong Mon 15-Aug-16 18:20:35

..And do you feel he needs urgent help tonight - do you feel he is a risk to himself or someone else - does he seem totally 'out of it' - has his mental state deteriorated since he was seen earlier?
Has he taken any illicit drugs today/this evening?

Or is this more a general query as to where to go now for help?

SealSong Mon 15-Aug-16 18:38:54

OK hoping the OP comes back - basic advice is:
- If very concerned about his mental state tonight or if you feel he is a risk to himself or anyone else, take him to A&E. If he refuses to go, call the police

- If not the above, if you are 'just' asking where to turn next, request his GP to refer him to his local CMHT (community mental health team) or CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health services) if under 18.

ihatethecold Mon 15-Aug-16 18:39:01

He is 25.
His dad won't call the police because he isn't currently doing anything to harm anyone or himself and he was given a suspended prison sentence for a year recently.
(He took his dad's work van to kill himself.)
I have suggested A + E to his dad. That's how we got the crisis team involved before.

ihatethecold Mon 15-Aug-16 18:52:18

Can his dad ask the GP to refer him to the CMHT?
He did connect with a drugs worker but this hasn't been consistent.
He isn't currently seeing anyone apart from his GP.
Who gives him a months supply of his meds at a time.
( when he was overdosing, he was massively abusing his prescription meds)
The crisis team gave him his drugs every 2 days so he couldn't abuse them.
I believe he is also using other drugs but I don't know what apart from cannabis.
He is a heavy cannabis user and has been for years.

PotteringAlong Mon 15-Aug-16 19:07:37

if he's 25 I'm not sure his dad can ask the gp anything - if he's not got medical power of attorney it's nothing to do with him, legally speaking.

If his dad won't call the police and you are concerned, why can't you call them?

ihatethecold Mon 15-Aug-16 19:15:37

As I said earlier he isn't causing harm to anyone right now.
He was talking to himself and hasn't slept for days.
His dad and I don't know where to turn.
The hospital won't section him. They have said before its behavioural because if he just took his meds properly he will be ok.
I also live 60 miles away so it's up to his dad if he calls the police.

ImperialBlether Mon 15-Aug-16 19:19:24

That's such a worry. Having no sleep will be really bad for him, too. Would he go to A&E with his dad if he were to try to take him?

3littlefrogs Mon 15-Aug-16 19:24:07

That sounds like amphetamine or crack.
You cannot have him in the house with a baby there - you may have to call the police as advised by the crisis team. He is a danger to himself and others.

I am so sorry - it is a horrible situation and there is NO support. sad

SealSong Mon 15-Aug-16 19:28:01

When was the last time he had a full mental health assessment from a mental health professional, not just the GP?

SealSong Mon 15-Aug-16 19:29:07

Would he let his Dad administer his medicine?

ImperialBlether Mon 15-Aug-16 19:31:33

OP, who says the hospital won't section him?

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Mon 15-Aug-16 20:26:09

I'm so sorry you're going through this. This does sound like drug induced psychosis. It's so, so difficult to get help and treatment.

If you call the police and explain that the crisis team have advised you to call them, and he is paranoid and hallucinating, then they will detain him under a section 136, not arrest him. They should them take him to a place of safety where he'll be assessed under the mental health act.

Alternatively you can take him to A&E again, and speak to the psych liaison and crisis team that way.

It's bloody ridiculous really. Parents shouldn't have to fight like this to get help for people who are clearly unwell, whatever the reason.

ihatethecold Mon 15-Aug-16 20:35:48

There isn't a baby yet in the house but there will be shortly.
He had disappeared again this evening. His dad has barely slept for months.
I feel so sorry for him.
I'm going to call the crisis team myself tomorrow and also speak to the social worker involved with his children.
( His children are not living with him or their mum due to CP issues with her)
I don't think my son will willingly go to a and e.

rockat Mon 15-Aug-16 20:45:50

It might help to ask about depo (injected) antipsychotic medication instead of tablets if he doesn't take them reliably.

Otherwise don't be afraid to call the police if you need to.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways Mon 15-Aug-16 20:48:59

Are you sure it's not legal highs like spice he is smoking? They can effect your mental health in similar ways and make you hallucinate and not sleep.

I'd take him to a and e.

ihatethecold Mon 15-Aug-16 20:56:13

I really don't know what else he has taken.
He was very abusive to me last time we spoke about 10 days ago.
I was looking after his children so the foster carers could get some respite.
He felt I'd chosen them over him!
So I've given him some space.

dangermouseisace Mon 15-Aug-16 21:18:19

Can only echo others who say you will have to call the police- for the safety of the people he lives with and himself. At least if he's in a cell or more likely in the mental health place of safety, he'll be likely to get a MH assessment at a time when he has not been able to get at any drugs.

Trouble is, unless he stops using the drugs he is never going to get better only worse.

Would it be possible to get his medication set up to arrive in a different way? E.g. most pharmacies will supply meds in a blister pack a week at a time if requested…with all drugs on the one blister pack. Ok he could take a week at a time, but that's better than a month at a time. Or you can get a medication dispenser that locks, and dispenses medication at a certain time each day, then if you don't take it takes it away again (a pivotell) At least then they are harder to get as it is locked (would have to break it to get into it) and it would also show whether he is taking his medication or missing it.

PotteringAlong Mon 15-Aug-16 21:37:37

You don't have to wait until he harms someone to call the police - he's a danger to himself.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways Mon 15-Aug-16 22:30:36

I'm sorry but at twenty five with a criminal record, children in care, drug addiction, no job and a new baby on the way I think his dad needs to consider asking him to leave.

ihatethecold Tue 16-Aug-16 07:19:39

I agree with you but his dad won't ask him to leave.
Well he does but then relents because he doesn't want to be the trigger for his son to try kill himself again.
It's such a stressful, difficult situation for his dad.
He has found his own child in his house overdosed and had to take him to hospital.
These were not accidental OD's.
We are doing everything we can to try and help him.
That's why I'm asking on here.
Making him homeless is not going to solve anything.

3littlefrogs Tue 16-Aug-16 07:44:54

I think the only thing you can do now is look at charities.
IME the NHS is completely overburdened and unable/unwilling to help.
Could you contact MIND/Salvation Army/any local homeless organisations?

I used to work for a detox unit run by a church organisation many years ago.

It may be a case of trawling the internet.

I am so sorry you are in this awful situation.

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