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I need to be sectioned I really do

(17 Posts)
user1468957602 Sat 30-Jul-16 19:09:56

I really think I need to be sectioned. I've never been to the doctor about my mental health even though I should have been. My dad, his sister and his dad all have bipolar so likelihood is so do I. It's been going on for at least 6 years after something awful happened to me at 13 which triggered it although it started off mild.

I won't go in to detail about everything there isn't enough time but I am totally messed up in my head I am not normal. I do not know what I am capable of I am up and down all the time not just with being happy and sad but hating and loving people too. I am a nasty evil person but I don't want to be. I just want to be normal.

I have 2 kids 19 months and 4 months. Not with their dad. Their dad doesn't want them. He says I am crazy and because me and him can't get along then he don't want nothing to do with the kids till they can talk for themselves as he don't wanna be involved with me. Last night I told him I would kill myself and my daughter if he did not see them. He told me he was going to call social services and that I was sick in the head. I would never do that I just wanted him to feel something.

Today I can't stop crying and being sick I haven't ate in 4 days. I'm a nervous wreck. I've been taking codeine as it gives me a high feeling and makes my emotions settle. I can't do this I really just want to kill my self. This has been going on for so long I can't do this to my children. I just want to end it. I have also been self harming.

I need to be sectioned and this needs to be delt with straight away there is really no time for back and forthe to doctors appointments waiting for diagnosis and medication I feel like I am nearly at the edge hanging on my a string.

I have no family I can rely on. My mum thinks I have bipolar she said to me "I've always known uve had something wrong with you from the age of about 13 u don't act normal" yet she never bothered to get me help even at that age. The only thing I can do is hope and pray my auntie is able to take my babies for me I am broken

AlbusPercival Sat 30-Jul-16 19:16:25

Deep breaths.
Go to A&E they will help.


ImperialBlether Sat 30-Jul-16 19:20:53

Phone your auntie and ask her to help you. It does sound as though you need to see a doctor urgently.

flowers for you. Phone her now and let people look after you.

heyday Sat 30-Jul-16 19:22:11

Yes, get to hospital tonight if possible. I know you are unwell but please, don't ever, ever speak about killing your little girl to get a reaction from your ex. It is your responsibility as an adult to ask for help so please, go and do that the minute you can get somebody responsible to take care of your children.

aprilanne Sat 30-Jul-16 19:23:34

user need to get help and get it fast .because your ex partner is right if you threaten the life of your children the social services will come in .my hubby has serious mental health issues and the moment he threatened my sons they were not babies but big teenagers i phoned police and he was sectioned .go to accident and emergency and tell them you need a place of safety they will not judge but you obviously need help .can someone take children for you because if you sectioned it is automatic 28 days or if you go voluntary you could be out sooner

TheWildRumpyPumpus Sat 30-Jul-16 19:38:55

I was admitted to psych hospital twice when I had thoughts of killing my children. If you presented at A&E and said you were intending to harm/kill your children due to your mental state you would almost certainly be sectioned. Social services also involved for an unlimited amount of time.

Unfortunately if you don't actually have ill thoughts towards the children and are 'only' suicidal (ridiculous as that sounds) the help often isn't there. You'd probably be offered care at home to start off with which can often be helpful. If you've never seen your GP or had any medications, they would be resistant to immediately placing you in a hospital setting (in both my in-patient stays I can't think of a single person who didn't already have some kind of diagnosis before being admitted.

Do see if a relative can help with childcare.

exWifebeginsat40 Sat 30-Jul-16 19:44:48

you need to go to A&E and be assessed by the duty Psych. be prepared that it's actually very hard to get sectioned, although as previous posters have said, if you have thoughts of harming your children things may speed up.

being on a locked psychiatric ward is really tough. where I am there is no therapy or activities - just endless sitting around, and relying on staff to be free if you want to do anything else. it can be useful if you need medication as it's easier to titrate up fast under supervision and with nowhere else you need to be while you get used to it.

please get some help, OP. you don't have to feel this wretched.

user1468957602 Sat 30-Jul-16 19:50:43

I have thoughts about it but not intentions of that makes sense. Like in my head I will think think I should do it as there is no point them living with a mum like me but I have no intentions to follow through with these thoughts. Also sometimes I feel no emotion at all. Like I don't hate them but I don't love them either I just feel indifferent, then an hour later I can from feeling all the emotions in the world love regret guilt shame etc and it tears me apart. The majority of the time I'm completely emotionless I told my ex that I would kill him I told him I hoped his family die etc then an hour later I will message him and call him crying and saying I didn't know why I said it.

user1468957602 Sat 30-Jul-16 20:12:14

Just wish there was something I could take that would knock me out for most of the day I don't want to be in my conscious mind sad

Elledouble Sat 30-Jul-16 20:21:29

Would you be prepared to tell us whereabouts in the country you are? I was admitted to a mother and baby psychiatric unit last year - it was a really positive experience, but I know access to this kind of care is patchy at best.

user1468957602 Sat 30-Jul-16 20:27:05

I am in Bournemouth

TheWildRumpyPumpus Sat 30-Jul-16 20:27:34

There are lots of medications which help to eradicate the roller coaster feelings of life - your GP will be able to start you on something and refer to a psych team for further care. Be prepared that it takes a while for things to take effect.

My personal experience of disclosing thoughts of harm towards my children - I spent 4.5 months in psych hospital, once they've decided you need admitting it can be hard to get out again. Once discharged I wasn't allowed to be alone with the children AT ALL until SS had monitored us for weeks.

It had long lasting effects on the whole family unfortunately. I guess what I want to get across is to be honest to everyone - yourself, family, HCP. That way you know you are doing the best you can, seeking help and trying to work through your issues.

aprilanne Sat 30-Jul-16 20:43:34

user i hope you have went to see someone by now .if they will not admit you. possible shortage of beds .they can bring out IHTT intensive home treatment team .they come everyday and if things dont get better they have the authority to admit you as priority although it might not be your local hospital .i would try to get someone to take the children for a while as a start .there father will maybe just have to step up to the plate whether he likes it or not .you need to get better and the sooner you ask the better

erinaceus Sun 31-Jul-16 00:12:14

I agree with aprilanne that an intensive home treatment team, known in some areas as a crisis team, could help you. You could present to A&E, who will be able to refer you to your local crisis team, or make an emergency appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to the crisis team. If you find your thoughts difficult to put into words when you meet with a doctor, you could print out this thread or show it on your phone to the GP and/or the liaison psychiatrist in A&E. The advantage of the IHTT, in my area at least, is that you have rapid access to having your medication reviewed by a psychiatrist, and, in common with being in hospital, your medication can be titrated rapidly if needed.

I agree with other posters that if a relative can help you to take care of your children for now, it could be sensible to take advantage of that.

If you do need to be admitted to hospital, then you need to be admitted to hospital, but you may not need to be. As TheWildRumpyPumpus says, be as honest as you are able to be, with yourself, your family, and HCP. There is support out there. Another source of support is The Samaritans. Mumsnet have put together a long list of sources of support here.


Broken1Girl Sun 31-Jul-16 01:03:50

Oh honey. As everyone said, please go to A&E.
Go now.
Or at least by Monday in case your (twat, by the sound of it) ex does call SS. Someone asking for MH help when it's needed will virtually never have their kids taken away, however someone who doesn't... and people say desperate things when desperate, what you said won't be used against you as long as you get help.
Do get your aunt to look after the DCs while you get help.
You're not a bad person. You clearly love them. You know temporarily handing them over to the care of relatives and getting help is the right thing to do as a responsible parent, and so will services.
Just to add, a section doesn't necessarily last 28 days. A doctor can end it at any time if they think it's no longer needed.
flowers I hope you get the help you need.

LilyC121 Sun 31-Jul-16 16:26:29

It's the original poster, I changed my username.

I haven't been to a and e, I was scared last night I worried that they would think I was wasting their time. I've been to a and e once as was having a panic attack when I was pregnant thought I was dying and they basically told me I was wasting their time questioned why I was there and sent me home it was humiliating. I wish there was an emergency number, I've considered calling nhs 111. I just feel like I can't talk to anybody about it. Like right now I'm talking to you because you don't know me but I don't feel I'm able to express it in person, I've never been Good at expressing my emotions, I am constantly telling everyone I'm ok and making out I'm fine and I do a good job at it sometimes.

I spoke to my ex last night, he said he wasn't going to call social services he just said that because he was fed up with me. I told him I would get help and that would he please come back for the kids when I was better and in short he basically told me there was nothing wrong with me and I was just naturally crazy, he said if I was ill then why haven't I attempted suicide or self harmed yet (I have self harmed he just doesn't know this) it's got me questioning am I just crazy? Is this me??

My heads racing in front of my body. I'm over thinking everything and becoming so irritable. I analyse things he has said over the phone a few days ago I've even wrote it all down to try make sense of it and analyse it its just strange.

My son is at my aunties, I've told her I need a break. I have been sat in a dark room with my daughter all day, I've even stuck black towels to the Windows so I'm in complete darkness, I just want to be alone. I'm still feeding her and caring for her I am not neglecting her at all just myself. I haven't ate still, haven't bathed in days and my hair is all tangled and everywhere and I look a state I just don't care I care about what's in my head. This is such a change from what I used to be sad it's not even that I feel sad,,, I mean I do feel sad but I also feel irritated manic and just strange. I don't know what's happening but I just want some sort of medication.

My daughters Has a heart problem which requires specialist care from nurses every week who visit mine so don't even know what the situation would be if I told the doctors and her being sick, would they take her away? I'm so scared of that happening. I don't want to be a bad mum with social services sniffing around me.

I just feel like there is only so much more I can be pushed this is only getting worse. I want to book a doctors appointment for tomorrow but I don't know what will happen. Do I write down everything? Is this classed as an emergency appointment? Do I tell them everything? Will they give me medication automatically or will they just talk to me and refer me to someone else? So many questions sad

INeedNewShoes Sun 31-Jul-16 16:35:29

Small steps - you must eat something and drink some water today. If you can't do this for yourself do it for your daughter. If you're breastfeeding you need to be eating too for nutrients.

Get an emergency appointment at the GP tomorrow morning. Phone them at 8am (or whenever they open) and tell them that you must see a doctor as soon as possible as you have concerning mental health problems.

Please confide in your Aunt. You can't go through this alone.

Sorry, I have no first hand experience of this and others will no doubt be along soon with more advice, but I just want you to do what you can to look after yourself today. flowers

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