Help

[themumfairy]

Not even sure if im posting in the right thread or if this isnt really a problem or not but im driving myself insane.

Im finding myself getting so worried about situations or anything really. I worry so much and make up things in my head which then causes me to worry more. Half the things i exaggerate would probably never happen, but its all i can think about. I end up with the worst itchy eczema rash appear all over my hands which causes more worry. When i catch myself not thinking about what ever it is, i worry because i havent been worrying. I wake up in the night worrying and can't get back to sleep.
Im currently on maternity leave after having dd but i cant even enjoy it. Which makes me feel worse.

Does this sound at all familiar to anyone? Or am i just being silly.

[AmyC86]

I'd speak to your HV sounds like you could have postnatal depression xx

[paulwellerfan]

Hi I felt this way after both of my babies- it does sound like it could be Pnd- i was put on some tablets that helped me sleep-
I know how horrid it is but my advice to you as a mum who would love to go back and have my babies again but be well this time is to try to take as much pressure off yourself as possible. Just do the absolute basics and try to rest when you can- enjoy your baby as much as you can and dont try to be supermum- babies dont need alot- they just need love and a cuddle- try not to feel under pressure from all the baby magazines and maybe friends that do all this fancy stuff with their kids- our kids dont need perfection they just need a mum who is there for them.

I used to worry about everything- and most of those things never happened but it stole my joy- and thats so sad- but if i could do it all over again i would not worry about the housework or what people thought of me or about producing the most amazing baby food- i would sleep or rest when the baby sleeps, i would forget housework, i would put myself first abit more and i would ask people for help if i needed it and not try to be too proud.

Take care of yourself and ask the doctor if you think you may benefit from some medication- or maybe just someone to talk to- i was given a Homestart volunteer- she was lovely and would look after my daughter for a few hours and she became my friend too-
You have done the right thing posting on here too as talking about how you feel is half the battle- sending you a hug ((( )))

[RibenaMummy]

I have suffered from an anxiety disorder for years. Long before the birth of my daughter and this sounds all too familiar to me.
For me it's a constant feeling of dread and that the worst possible thing will always happen. I build up scenarios in my head and think something awful will definitely happen. The worst thing is I know I'm being irrational but I still can't switch it off. I have spent an entire weekend refusing to leave the house because I'm so worked up and upset about a fly away comment someone had made to me at work (which they probably forgot about in 30 seconds) and I'd convinced myself my career was at stake. I also get worried about being worried which Is a fantastically vicious circle. Even when the bad things never happen I still carry on with the "doom".
I admitted I needed help after becoming a shell of my former self after the first year and saw a doctor. I have had some counseling but sadly not really benefited from it (though people I know really have so please don't dismiss it) and have been taking citalopram. After the first few months on the citalopram the fog began to clear and I could see I'd really not been doing well up until that point. I asked my husband and he told me he'd been afraid to tell me what a zombie I'd become. I've been on the citalopram 3 years now and have had a few goes at reducing it, most recently during my pregnancy but still feel like I need it.
There is a good chance your anxiety could be linked to PND. Please get some help. Don't let it drag on like I did. x

[themumfairy]

Thank you so much for replies.

Ribena you have described it much better than i did. It is a vicious circle. If someone makes comment to me about nothing really important it would play on my mind is for about a week.
I did think it could be pnd but tbh ive been like it for years. Its just now im not working so i have more time on my hands for worry.
I know it's got bad because i cant even trust myself to leave the house without taking photos of the cooker so i can check that it's off. Sometimes its even easier to take my straightners with me out if i use them. I cant believe im even writing this because i can see how silly it is but i even recorded on my phone myself locking the door the other day. I never even check the photos once im out but at the time of leaving i get myself so worked up that something will happen, fire, robbery etc, that i justify it.
I think neighbours are whispering behind my back and i imagine what they could be saying to each other. Then i act like its all true so its changes my view of them.
Writing it all down i can see that its not normal.
Are these symptoms of aniexty? I thought aniexty was panic attacks etc.

[RibenaMummy]

I very rarely get panic attacks to be honest. I've had the odd occasion where I've got so worked up about something my chest has felt tight and I've had to catch my breath but it's not a big symptom of my anxiety. It's the "doom" that makes life difficult. I find it hard not to fixate on the most silly things and turn them into "end of the world" type situations in my head. It's funny that when you have anxiety you think that your symptoms sound ridiculous but to someone else with anxiety they'll totally understand it. I just kept thinking for god sake I'm an intelligent sensible person, how can I be so irrational. If you look up anxiety disorders you will probably recognize a lot of it. I also get insomnia as I can't switch off from worrying. I also get double checking everything like you and things like deciding I can't drive a certain way home because I've freaked myself out about a busy roundabout and convinced myself I couldn't pull out on it without crashing. x

[RibenaMummy]

Oh and yes, deciding I don't want to be around certain people because I've exaggerated a scenario with them in my head and now believe that's the truth - I get that too! If you ever want anyone to talk to let me know. I've been getting some treatment for the last few years and whilst I still get episodes it's a lot more under control now. x