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Why am I feeling this way

(5 Posts)
lost2016 Wed 13-Jul-16 08:11:53

I am fed up with several things at the moment.
My employer is driving me insane, I can't get overtime on my department so due to being multi skilled I have asked on other departments that I am qualified on if they have any overtime. The problem is one minute they have the overtime, the next they are taking it away from me and it's getting me down, I can't survive on the hours I am contracted.
The manager on the department that keeps mucking me around has said he wants me over on this department but if I was to move over I would be on less contracted hours than I am on my current department.
Also I feel like I am constantly getting nit picked at on the department that one minute there is overtime - the next there isn't. I know some could say if I do my job properly then I wouldn't get picked on BUT when it is every other day - it is obviously personal not just about work. I have spoken to my union rep in the place I work and he even said that this department is under a lot of stress at the moment but shouldn't be taking it out on me.
My partner is also doing my head in, he is always there, I go out to the kitchen and he follows, he is constantly texting or phoning me when it isn't necessary to do so. I feel like I'm not getting a break from him, he's always in my face. I think with him it's more a case of because in the past he has lied, kept secrets and been sly about stuff towards me and has never apologised for his actions and seems to expect me to just 'get over it' when it doesn't work like this. Even recently I found out he has done something behind my back, I only found out because I could smell the smoke on him and he's not even sorry but expects me to lay back and think of England and carry on. He behaves like a child, thinks he can get away with stuff by lying so he doesn't have to face the consequences.
Finally I am getting mixed messages from someone at work, one minute they're very chatty, smiley, touchy/feely etc with me but the next they just blatantly ignore me but chat to other people.......I really don't know whether I am coming or going right now.
Please help, don't know what to do for the best but I am not going on tablets that I will end up relying on.

lost2016 Thu 14-Jul-16 07:50:04


TheNotoriousPMT Thu 14-Jul-16 08:13:56

Do you have kids/own property with your dp?

TheNotoriousPMT Thu 14-Jul-16 08:18:32

Because it sounds like there is stress coming from 2 areas in your life, and I'm wondering which would be easier to fix first.

Not going to recommend a/ds because it sounds like there are obvious external reasons for your feelings, and if you can get rid of those you'll feel better.

Avoid Touchy-Feely at work until after you have got rid of current dp - and even then, do you really like them? Might it be easier to be single for a while?

lost2016 Thu 14-Jul-16 09:15:02

Thank you for your response. I agree I don't believe I am depressed in anyway and believe it is the situation, the constant nit picking from certain employees and being mucked around with overtime and then add in my partner doing my head in.
I have no kids and the property is mine, I rent off of my HO.
I even transferred from another area because I could no longer commit to 5:30am starts and where I am now I don't start until 12 if I just do my contracted but I start at 8 if I do the overtime on the other department. It is a big drop in money when I am doing 8-4 3 days a week and 8-7 2 days a week to go to 12-4 for 3 days and 12-7 for 2 days.......I need the money and wish now I had to stuck it out at my old store as there was always overtime, if not on my department but on another I am skilled to do and I am not sponging off the OH. I don't think I would be feeling this way if I had just stuck it out in my old store.
With touchy feely it is complicated and TBH with the fact that one minute he is like this, the next he is avoiding me, I don't even know if I would want that in my life. After all if he's like it ATM what would he be like in a relationship and I think maybe I am feeling the way I am here because of my current OH and the way he has treated me and not even been sorry for it.
What about the nit picking from certain colleagues on the department I do overtime on? I have spoken to the department manager and he says I am doing great on it, that I don't need any training or extra support, he wants me over on the department and when there's overtime to give I am the first he asks.......I spoke to my line manager about this and she has said it's because I am good at what I do and these people feel threatened by me.

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