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My husband just broke down

(1 Post)
SeriouslySomething Wed 13-Jul-16 06:47:50

When my ds was born our relationship changed as all do but something really changed. My husband withdrew himself and then at about 8 months old (ds)we were at a really low point in our marriage and he broke down and said he was depressed. He sought out counselling and then all of a sudden things picked up again and we continued on. he never went to counselling.
When my second ds was born the same thing happened. We battled on and again our marriage took a dive and has stayed there. he goes into autopilot and i have to say that after a while i just gave up. Depression was never mentioned and he didn't seem depressed as how you would imagine. just preoccupied with work ect ds 2 is nearly 2 now and we are just living in the same house sharing a bed. We constantly talked about what we could do to fix it with the same outcome. he would retreat into his shell
Today i cracked and told him i had had enough and he broke down again and opened up and told me he has been thinking of awful things and that he needs help.

i feel like i have failed him by not knowing, by not seeing it, by just thinking he didn't care.
what can i do apart from be his support? how can i help him more?

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