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Panic attacks pregnancy

(1 Post)
Catnoise Mon 11-Jul-16 20:41:07

I suffer from anxiety which I have kept under control in pregnancy up to now. I've actually been the least anxious I've been in years and have been feeling really well and excited to become a mum. I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant.

DH and had a silly argument yesterday which was basically us bickering only then I started to have a panic attack over it and was really worrying about everything. It felt like I was upsetting him which in my panicked state led to me thinking that I was going to upset my child and thinking that the baby would be better off without me. DH calmed me down and reminded me were just have a silly argument, it was ok and I was going to be a great mum. I calmed down and the rest of the day was nice. Being out of the panic meant I could rationalise it all.

Then today I received a phone call from Natwest who I have a current account with which is still open but I haven't used since about 2008 when I paid off the overdraft. I knew it was still open and when we moved in 2012, I went into the branch to change the address. As far as I was concerned at the time (and I'm sure I checked this in branch), I had a small positive balance of about £20.

That was the last I heard from them until today when they called to say they had had post returned to them and wanted to know why. They still had my old address. I am so sure I changed it with them, so, so sure! Meanwhile they have passed it on to their debt collection department and issued me with a default. This is the first I've heard about it. They had been writing to me at my old address (as I haven't lived there in four years, it seems unlikely they've just had post returned now for the first time) and haven't called me once in the last four years until today when they told me they'd issued me with a default. They've since explained its because I've been charged with a monthly fee each month for having access to an overdraft, even though I wasn't using it until it seems they started chArging me and I went into my overdraft. I've since bought my experian credit report and even though they said I should have known about the fees, it doesn't seem they started charging me until 2014 when they seemed to start charging me at a rate of £6/month. If I wasn't receiving correspondence then I had no way of knowing. There are no late payment marks on the credit file and it seems that two years later, having paid nothing into the account, they have decided to default me even though all the negative balance is their overdraft fees. The negative balance is about £274.

I had a panic attack on the phone to them at the time (they casually mentioned about the default as thought I should know already) and to be fair to those taking my call, they were really nice. They said they would try their best to get my complaint dealt with today as they knew i was pregnant and was clearly very distressed but no one has called. I just started thinking about it again and started having another panic attack.

I feel like such a failure. I had a default on my file from years ago when I was made redundant and couldn't find a job for six months. That is due to fall off my credit file next year and when I go back to work after maternity leave, we hoped to be able to get a mortgage. Now this will be out the window and it feels so unfair. It feels like every time something is going well in my life, something comes along to destroy it. What's the point of even trying? I feel like such a failure.

I now can't stop panicking and crying and I'm so scared that it will be harming my baby but I just can't calm down. Any advice on how to deal with this? I haven't had an actual panic attack in years. Also am I harming my baby by panicking?

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