Feeling sorry for myself

[bee024]

Ok, I have nothing to complain about, I have a happy healthy family, we have enough money, I don't have to work. Why do I feel so useless? I have no patience and no motivation. I struggle to engage and interact with my girls (2 & 4) and as a result, they spend most of the time we're at home watching the telly/computer. This is now all they ever want to do, and when I try and engage them in something else they are not interested. My smallest also appears to compulsively eat through boredom. I know I need to try harder to entertain them, but really struggle to find the motivation to do do. I have no patience and loose my temper really quickly, getting cross and frustrated with them. My husband thinks I may be depressed because I am always angry, but that doesn't sound like a symptom of depression to me, anyway I have no reason to be depressed and am generally happy, just rubbish at being a parent. I should be better at dealing with things, I should be able to engage with my children but struggle and I hate to admit this, but they just wind me up and irritate me. I can't focus on anything I want to do with them there. I am a useless, ungrateful waste of space. Just feeling sorry for myself. I just need to get off my arse and JUST DO SOMETHING! I hate myself.

[dangermouseisace]

hi OP

Anger/agitation can be a sign of depression, your DH is right. Your writing sounds like a depressed person- you've put yourself down throughout.

Have you been to your GP at all?

Don't beat yourself up for kids watching TV…sometimes it's necessary. I find it helpful to put limits on it .e.g no TV/screen til 5pm when I'm cooking dinner. Sometimes this goes completely out the window though. They might argue they are bored to start with (reply- it's good for you to be bored- makes you more creative!). Usually it's helpful to have a definite idea of an activity though- e.g. making cakes, painting/colouring, going to the park for an hour. But don't overburden yourself- just one activity rather than trying to be supermum and doing everything!

[bee024]

I haven't been to my GP. I hate talking about things like this, I hate admitting there's a problem, plus if I do try and talk about it I'll just end up a blubbering mess.
When I do try activities with the kids, I bet so frustrated with them, and end up shouting, to the point when they no longer want to do activities with me.

[dangermouseisace]

It's worth going to the GP, don't worry if you end up a blubbering mess handily they always have loads of tissues and see it repeatedly throughout the day!

Have you tried any mindfulness exercises? Sometimes I found they were useful to avoid getting really cross. Remembering that 'this moment will pass'. But I think what you really need to do is go to the Dr's….