My DH is depressed/ feels suicidal

[Glitterkitten24]

He told me tonight how he was feeling.
Due to his job, he says he can't go to doctors as he'd be signed off work sick (he's emergency services).
I'm talking with him to try and make him realise he needs to see his Gp and get support with this.

I don't really know why I'm writing this.
I feel terrible that I didn't realise how bad he was feeling and he didn't feel he could tell me.
What can I do to support him?

[Cathaka15]

If he's suiciidal you need to get some professional help. Call your GP and get some advice asap. Just be there for him now by listening to him when and if he wants a chat. Make sure you are extra attentive but not that he feels smothered. Just let him know you are there for him no matter what. Mental illness is tricky but it can be dealt with effectively with support and medication. Also there are the Samaritans you can call right now.

[Redglitter]

Sounds like being signed off work is what he needs. If he works for one of the emergency services he needs to be totally on the ball at work. He won't be the only one off with stress whatever his job is.

Could you both go and see his gp.

[dogdrifts]

As an EMS worker there will be help he can access via work. These professions routinely deal with counselling requirements but it is essential that he gets support. He needs to contact whatever the support network is for his branch or his supervisor and accept help.

[Glitterkitten24]

Thanks for the replies.
He feels like there is a real stigma around mental health issues in his work. I think he feels that he'll never be considered for any other internal positions again but I'm sure he's far from the only person ever to have felt like this, there must be some support. That's a good shout dogs ill see what counselling is available at his work.

I feel conflicted between trying to help and pushing him if you see what I mean. I don't want to pressure him more, or make him regret confiding in me.

[Idontknowwhoiam]

I'd recommend samara tans. They're very good.
Also don't feel guilty for not noticing. I worked very hard to hide my feelings from everyone. When I finally admitted I needed help everyone was surprised, I think it's all part of the trying to cope mechanism... not that it helps, it just adds to your burden.
I'm glad he's confided in you, just be guided by him now x

[dogdrifts]

I'm ex-military and there are similar fears - that said there are a whole new breed of professionals (really I am talking about men) who are breaking down the stigma. There is nothing to be ashamed of and if he is open and honest about what is going on he can help to make the stigma disappear. Who knows, with experience himself, later on he can be a position to help support younger colleagues in turn. Hiding these things only serves to perpetuate the stigma, not solve it.

[dangermouseisace]

my friend is a medical professional and had the same concerns. In the end she decided that for the welfare of her family she had to get help and went to her GP. She is glad that she did. He will not be the only one. Many people who work for emergency services have to have time off for stress. If he's depressed he's not going to be able to support the public properly in his role and he needs time off to get his head straight. He absolutely needs to go to the GP.