Childhood trauma?OCD? Anxiety? Someone please help me

[babydances]

Ill try and keep it brief as its a long story and I'm feeling like I'm going nuts.

My dp thinks I'm suffering from childhood trauma.
I do get anxious about things and have become obsessed with the house being tidy and when it's not I feel anxious. I am always worrying dp will leave me.

My "dad" left when I was 10 and he was pretty nasty piece of work.
We got back in contact at age of 30 and he was very nasty to me on the phone (less than 2 weeks ago).
He said I was stuck up, think I'm better than I am etc and since then I have been a mess.

I feel traumatised.
I feel sick and anxious. I can't think straight. I'm lacking any motivation. I feel s### about myself. I keep having these horrid thoughts about soemhung awful happening to dc. They keep popping into my head and won't bugger off. I'm tearful a lot. Last night I felt panicky when I woke up on the night and got myself a drink. Like there's this build up of anxiety inside of me and I'm going to have a panick attack.

I have hypnotherapy booked next week.
Dp is worried about me and thinks I should see a doctor which I don't want to do as I don't want to feel judged or have that on my medical record that I'm going abit nuts.

I'm also at work and my boss was giving me a hard time and I feel like I can't take anymore criticism.

Please help me as I feel awful

[babydances]

Should of explained my so called dad also lied to me on the phone, told me I should of made an effort to get in contact as it works both ways. Haven't heard from him since he as 19 and then before that 10ish.
I said I had contacted him about 5 times and then he let slip he had got my texts and said what was he suppose to say when j told him I was pregnant with DC 6 years ago. So he lied to me on the phone and was just so awful to me on the phone. I feel my confidence has taken a massive knock and any mild anxiety and insecurities about feeling abandoned and fear of abandonment has now opened a huge can of worms this last week and I want to feel like my normal self again

[erinaceus]

Hi babydances

Do you feel able to show this thread to your GP?

Your DP could come with you to the appointment. This might help if you feel like you are being judged.

You wrote about concerns over what would go on your medical records. What concerns you about it? I would be surprised that "going a bit nuts" would go on your medical record tbh, I'm no medic though.