OCD - Help

[singingnanny97]

Ever since I was about 6 years old. I would obsess over the fact i may have done something to harm myself without realising, such as touching a poisonous plant or swallowing something fatal to me... My parents always brushed it off and put it down to me being a hypercondriac. As i started to get older the irrational and pointless thoughts have moved into be panicking that i might be gay, that I don't really want to be with my DP (Despite the fact that on my good days he makes me SO happy). For those who don't have OCD, it isn't that I am gay and in denial, it's that the thought of being gay sends me into a panic spin because it isn't true to me, but I'm having these intrusive thoughts ( I am also not homophobic, some of my best friends are gay and I adore them) If I get a twinge of pain I assume the worst, I have ended up in hospital once because I wound myself up so much about a cough.

Basically... I have reached breaking point. OCD has destroyed my life and I don't know how to cope anymore. I have been working abroad for 4 months, and had to come off my anti-depressants cold turkey while out here because I ran out and nobody could help me. So i had a major relapse, alone, in a foreign country. I am back in the UK next week so am hoping to restart coupled with CBT. I'm just terrified that I'll be this way forever. I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was 17, because I was to afraid to be completely open with my GP about my thoughts and compulsions. And have just been re-diagnosed to OCD. Please say I'm not alone?

[PlugUgly]

Really sorry you are going through this, going cold turkey is never a good idea, do you think you will be able to talk honestly to the GP, they have heard it before you know, you are NOT alone