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We need help but not sure from who. Can anyone advise please?

(7 Posts)
Goingtobeawesome Sat 02-Jul-16 09:53:17

DD self harming.
Doesn't want to eat.
Gender issues.

School not equipped.
Could be two months before she's seen.
told me this morning she wants to die and not in a pain to go away but to die.

We can afford private. DH has left emails and voice mails and not one has got back.

Please help. I'm worried, scared, can't breathe and feel so so guilty.

UpDownUpDownandaweebitannoying Sat 02-Jul-16 11:25:18

Hi, I wonder if you can get immediate access to help through out of hours gp?

It might not be the route to help re school etc but it sounds like you would like some immediate support. I know it varies by area but I have had help this way.

Please don't feel guilty. You clearly care and are trying to help. Thats being a good parent. flowers

I found the MIND website good when needing help, you might already be very familiar with self harm if it's been a long term problem, but if not might be good to read.

Goingtobeawesome Sat 02-Jul-16 11:33:50

I've read all the MIND stuff and spoken to someone at CAMHS and removed everything I found in her room. She wanted to SH yesterday but said then and today she has nothing to do with it. C suggested things she could safely use but it went against my instincts as a mum to give her stuff but they explained it was about doing it in a safe way. DD said they didn't help. She doesn't know why she does it. Doesn't always realise she is. Sometimes doesn't know what happened, she doesn't remember walking to the bus stop was one example.

What would an OOH GP do ? I know I'm being impatient but DD already feels no one can help so I don't want her to feel let down if OOH do nothing iyswim.

DH and I are popping in to her now and then. She's in bed with the cat. That's huge as she used to dislike him. I'm seeing him as bringing her comfort and I gave her her babyhood cuddly the other day. He'd fallen out of bed so I just causally picked up some rubbish and him and left him on her bed. Cats aren't meant to go on beds but whatever she wants at the moment. He cries when she goes to school and shuts her door.

UpDownUpDownandaweebitannoying Sat 02-Jul-16 11:54:35

Sorry. My experience is very limited, as an adult and personal. I had a referral to our local well-being service which covers all mental health. Saw nurse very quickly under the urgent help level - so not crisis team - but very focused and immediat until I was feeling stronger. Really helped with SH and suicide. I do not have long running experience and knowledge of mental health services. You're probably ahead of me. Sorry.

Goingtobeawesome Sat 02-Jul-16 12:01:55

No need to say sorry. I really appreciate you taking the time to post.

I hope you are doing okay now.

sorbetandcream1 Sun 03-Jul-16 14:54:21


So sorry you are all going through such an awful time. In short term, I would recommend:

-try not to ask her why she is doing it/ if something has happened. She may well not know why she does it, it could be a multitude of reasons. She shouldn't need to explain herself right now.

- Make sure she knows how loved she is. She needs to know that you love her unconditionally. Make it clear you are not angry with her, you love her exactly as she is now. You are just worried for her.

- If she is happy with this, try just sitting with her giving her a big hug.

-Maybe see if she would watch a film/ programme with you. Something easy to watch, low key. Possibly something she liked as a young child, say a Disney cartoon. Could be comforting.

- Praise her for being brave/ strong enough to talk about how she is feeling.

-How old is she? Give her the details of samaritans/ childline. There may be things that she wants to tell someone but is scared to say, doesn't want to hurt people close to her, Samaritans can be great for that.

-Try and be as honest and transparent with her as possible. As far as possible, don't arrange stuff behind her back or say one thing to her but something totally different to each other. She needs to know you are all in this together.

-Look after each other. It can put a huge strain on a relationship having a child going through mental health difficulties.

-Ask if she wants to start a diary, may be useful further down the line and for her to see if she improvement.

-Food wide, I'd offer her small amounts of food rather than big meals. If you don't feel like eating a huge meal can be really off putting.

-maybe try putting some finger food out when you watch a film together. Something she can easily nibble if she wants.

-Is she drinking much? That's obviously more important. If she will drink, make her a milkshake/ fruit smoothie if she will drink it.

- Would she enjoy a massage? Either done by yourselves...a simple foot massage using some simple moisturiser/ oils or pay for someone to give her one. That might be awful advice. Ignore if not right for your situation.

Keep fighting for the right support.

What area are you in? Maybe someone on mn may be able to recommend a good therapist?

I really hope your daughter gets the help she needs soon.

Hope this helps.


Goingtobeawesome Sun 03-Jul-16 16:05:17

Hank you sorbet.

We are doing all we can and DH and I are working together. Some of those things wouldn't be accepted due to her medical issues but we are doing our best and she is seeing someone privately this week. I can't wait two months for her to be seen shocksad.

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