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No resilience to failure, face slapping

(2 Posts)
Crazykittensmile Sun 26-Jun-16 15:57:54

Sorry, I don't quite know what advice I'm looking for but I feel like I have a problem and I want to tackle it but don't know where to begin.

Just now I was playing one of those 'brain training' apps on my phone. It's a game which gets progressively harder and which had friend's high scores to beat. I was playing one game and doing fairly well when the requirements changed to make it more difficult so that I was really struggling and kept making mistakes.

The sense of anger and frustration at myself just suddenly went from 0 to overwhelmed, I managed to resist throwing my phone across the room but slapped myself in the face instead. Hard, so that my ears were ringing. It took me by surprise.

To be honest the face slapping is becoming a problem - I used to self-harm by cutting but have managed to stop since October and really don't want to start but lately when I'm feeling angry this takes over instead although normally I'm in control and today it felt like I'd slapped myself especially hard and before I even knew what I was doing.

I do really struggle with feelings of failure, I have always been a bad loser at games and hate to feel j can't do something but I hate this and want to build up my resilience to it but I don't know how or where to begin.

Sorry, I don't even know what I want from this I guess I know this isn't normal but I don't know what to do to help myself.

Overshoulderbolderholder Sun 26-Jun-16 16:24:37

Maybe you should speak with your GP and ask for a referral, I think you could benefit from some professional support to help with your feelings.
There are plenty of people who cannot play online games as they find them very frustrating and they end up with feelings of intense anger. They don't suit all people, so please don't feel overly concerned about that, just don't play them for the time being.
But the way you feel about yourself in general does need addressing you deserve to feel better about yourself and remember how you feel does not reflect how others feel about you. Do you have close family/friends that you can talk too?
You don't feel the way you do for no reason, you may be carrying baggage around from the past that is dragging you down a little. Good luck and a big hug flowers

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